She Wouldn't Be Gone
by marie-cullen07
Summary: He thought he had it all. The perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect girl, the perfect life. Five years together & she can no longer stand by and be taken for granted. She warned him & now she's left him. Sometimes being in love just isn't enough.
1. Prologue :: Gone

**Story Notes:**

Welcome to my new adventure! I've been working on it for a few weeks now, and I think I am finally ready to share it.

This one will be primarily EPOV and carry many flashbacks that help you understand the depth of the story. It came to me one day while listening to the radio (of course!)...and it wouldn't go away. Seriously, now I know how SM wrote Twilight, b/c I had a dream...it followed the song...and well, I just had to write it down before it drove me crazy! :)

It's loosely based off of, but definitely inspired by the song "She Wouldn't Be Gone" by Blake Shelton. Take a listen.

**A/N:**

Here we go! This will be the shortest chapter...promise!...but I hope it catches you! Teasers for the next chapter up on the blog! (the first 3 chaps are written, so I hope to get them up quickly for you)

Story Blog linke in my profile.

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox.

***RATED FOR LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT*** You've been warned.

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><p><strong>Prologue - Gone<strong>

"I'm leaving." She says in a distant and hollow voice. "Please don't try to stop me or follow me. I just can't…" she chokes back a sob, "I just can't do this anymore."

I froze. I can't breathe. I can't speak. Her deep chocolate eyes are rimmed a puffy red. Trails of tears soak her delicate, pale cheeks. She's not waiting for me to stop her. She's not waiting for a response. Her mind is already made up. I can't move my God damn feet, and I want so badly to run and grab her and make her stay.

With a slight nod of her head, she turns from me and bends down, picks up her small duffle bag from the floor and slings it over her shoulder. I'm still frozen as I watch her take a deep breath, place her hand on the knob and open the front door. The sound of the latch clicking into place brings me to my knees. Bent over, I tug at my hair and feel every piece of my heart shattering. A strangled cry leaves my lungs.

_What have I done? She's gone. I've lost her._

It could have been minutes or hours, but some time later I pick myself up off the floor and make my way to the kitchen. Standing in front of the sink, I run the faucet and fill a glass of water. As I stare out the window above the sink, I watch as the rain make trails of water down the pains. _Fitting. _Glancing around at the small pots of fresh herbs she planted to don the windowsill and the sheer white curtains that she hung to filter the light, but not block out the very of the ocean. My mind takes me back to a simpler, happy time. A time when we were so in love and nothing stood in our way. Especially not me…

x x x

_Four Years Ago_

"_It's perfect! It's perfect! Oh Edward, this is it! This is the one!" she exclaimed as she danced around on the hardwood floors of the empty living room. I couldn't help the smile that took over my face at her excitement._

_She leapt into my arms and wrapped her arms and legs around me as I spun us and pressed my lips to hers. "Are you sure?" I asked with a smirk. "You don't seem too excited about it. You should be more excited if you're sure." I teased as she giggled into my shoulder. _

"_Yes. I am absolutely sure! This is the house, Edward. This is _our_ house." And she began trailing soft kisses up my neck, across my cheek and eventually onto my lips. _

"_There's nothing I wouldn't give you. You know that? Nothing. You want this house, you get this house." I told her, as I gently placed her back onto her feet and tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear._

"_I want this house. I want us to live and love in this house together. Forever." She said softly, gazing deep into my eyes._

"_Then forever is what you'll get, my love."_

x x x

I spin and pitch my glass of water across the kitchen. It crashes into the brick wall and shatters into hundreds of tiny pieces. _Just like my heart._

I sink down to the floor against the cabinets and press the heels of my hands to my eyes. "FUCK!" I scream out to an empty house. The pain takes over my body, and rips my chest wide open.

I'm empty without her.

_How do I fix this? _

I'm hollow without her.

_She warned me. She'd told me if I didn't change…_

My life is futile without her.

_No. No! I have to fix this! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I cannot fucking live without her. I'll fight. I'll beg._

My life is meaningless without her.

_She told me not to follow her, but that's not possible. She's my life now. I _will_ find her and I _will_ make this right. _

"FUCK!" I scream out again. I jump to my feet and run to the front door. As I fling it open a loud crack of thunder rattles through the air. Rain is coming down in sheets across the front lawn, much like the tears on my face. I grab my keys off the entry table and make a mad dash to my truck.

_Dammit! _

_If I had loved her this much all along, maybe…..maybe she wouldn't be gone._

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

Well? Love it? Hate it? Want more? Want me to give up? LOL I love to hear what you think, and your theories as to what happened, and what made her leave. We'll get there. :)

I know this first peek is short...bear with me! I love to write longer chapters, so just hang in there. :)

Now leave me some love! I'm anxious over this one...EPOV will be a little tricky for me, but he should be fun! He has a potty mouth too! lol xoxox


	2. Chapter 1 :: Search

**A/N: **

Be warned...if you're not 18, you really need to stop reading now.

I hope this chapter brings you more into the story...not giving anything away yet tho. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Search<strong>

"Please Rose, please! Tell me where she is." I beg through a sob. I'm clutching my cell phone to my ear like it's a lifeline.

Rosalie Cullen is married to my brother Emmett, and she's her best friend. I know she'll remain loyal to her no matter what, but I am not above begging. I need her like I need air to breathe. I'll do anything to make this right, but Rose can be a cold-hearted bitch if you piss her off. She's fierce, loyal and has a heart of gold…until you wrong her or someone she loves.

"If you think crying will make me feel sorry for you Edward, you're wrong." She huffs in annoyance.

"I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me Rose. I just…God, I just need to see her; talk to her. I'll do anything. Anything! Just please tell me where she is."

"I'm sorry Edward. I haven't talked to her. Not today anyway. Sounds like she finally got sick of your shit. Can't say I blame her for finally leaving your sorry ass." She spat. She loves every second of this. Loves throwing it in my face that I fucked this up. The only thing we've _ever_ been able to agree upon is our love for the two loves of our lives.

I sigh and swallow the lump in my throat. "Can you just…I don't know. Just tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to her."

"I make no promises Edward. She's a big girl. She makes her own decisions." And with that snarky reply, she hangs up on me.

I throw my phone onto the passenger seat and slam my hand on the dash.

"Dammit! Fuck!"

Sitting in the driveway of our home isn't going to get me any closer to finding her. I back the truck out of the driveway and head up the coast towards the causeway. The rain is so heavy, it is impossible to see more than twenty feet in front of me. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear there was a tropical storm off the coast. _Again, fitting. _I still remember when we decided to move to this sleepy little beach town on the coast of North Carolina.

_Emmett is a pilot in the Marine Corps and was being sent to Marine Corps Air Station New River from Naval Air Station Whidbey Island. The idea of having my brother and her best friend on the complete opposite side of the country didn't sit well with either of us, so the decision was easy. It was the ideal place for us. We had only been together a year, but I knew I was going to be with the woman for the rest of my life. Once we began researching the area, she fell in love with Wilmington, and even more so in love with Wrightsville Beach. We would be just under an hour away from Emmett and Rose who found a place in Sneads Ferry. The perfect start to our forever._

I make a left onto the causeway and head over the canals. No matter where I look, I see her. There are memories of her everywhere, and my fucking chest aches as I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. I pull into the _Causeway Café_, in hopes that she may have come here to get away. Through my rain soaked windshield, I can just make out the rickety front porch steps leading to the front door. The usual chalkboard menus are hung on each side of the doors, and the lit neon sign reads "Open". Ready to make another mad dash, I shut off the engine and grab hold of the door handle. I swing it open and brace myself against the pounding rain and heavy wind as I race up the front steps and through the front door. The bells chime as I fumble like a wet rat into the café, and the waitress behind the bar gives me a once over, raising an eyebrow at me. _Jessica._

We met Jessica when we first started coming to the café for morning breakfasts. She's our regular waitress, and as sweet as their malted chocolate chip pancakes. She doesn't move or speak as I stalk to the counter. She simply holds my gaze, and I feel like she's looking right through me.

"Hey Jess. Have you seen her?" I ask breathlessly.

She props her hand on her hip, cocks her head to the side and I know I'm right. She's been here. I spin around, and quickly glance around the tables at the customers. I'm sure I look like some sort of deranged lunatic to these people. There are locals and tourists abound, just enjoying their meals. Some have noticed me, and some are oblivious. Doesn't matter, because none of them are her. I spin back to Jessica, and brace my hands on the counter. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself, and the scent almost knocks me over, so I grip the counter harder and try to focus. I can smell her. I know she's been here.

"Please. Just tell me where she is. Please Jess." Nope, still not above begging.

"I don't know where she is Edward." Jessica replies icily.

I feel the tears stinging my eyes again and I look away. "But, she was here. Wasn't she?"

I look back at Jessica, and she's studying the floor, her hands now in the front pockets of her apron. I slam my hand down on the counter, and she jumps back in shock and then stares daggers at me.

"You need to calm down." She practically growls at me. She takes a step towards the counter and places her hand over mine soothingly. Doesn't help. "Look. I like you. Both of you. I don't know what's going on, and I don't know where she went. Yes, she was here, but only long enough to grab breakfast and a coffee to go." She pauses and removes her hand. "She looked a hot mess though. It broke my heart to see her like that. And…" she pauses again, and I feel like the only thing holding me up is this damn counter. I can see the hurt in her eyes "…she told me goodbye. Said that it was the last time she'd be coming here, and wanted to say goodbye."

My fucking heart slams into my chest and then falls into my feet. I slump into a stool at the counter and drop my forehead to my arms, trying to fight back the tears.

_No! Dammit! No!_

"Look Edward, maybe she just needs some space. Just give her some time?" It comes out like a question, and I know she's just trying to comfort me. Still doesn't help.

"I can't. I have to find her. It's just a feeling, but if I don't find her, I think…" I swallow hard and practically choke on the next words, "…I think she'll be gone for good."

I lift my head slightly. Jessica gives me a sad smile, nods and then turns and walks away to attend to other customers. I press the heels of my hands to my eyes again, and then wipe away the tears from my face. I swear I can still smell her, and it reminds me of the very first time we ever walked into this place.

It was the morning after we'd first arrived. The day before was nothing short of torturous. The moving truck had arrived at seven AM on the dot, and the packers began unloading mounds of boxes and our furniture. They didn't leave until close to ten PM that night, but the first thing we had them assemble that day was our bed, so all we had to do was crash after a day of unpacking. She had other ideas that night, so instead of falling asleep, we christened the shower, the bathroom counter and eventually the new sheets on our old bed. I remember waking up that next morning…

x x x

_There was a soft glow behind my eyelids, and I felt silky fingers making circles on my chest. I stretched my arms up over my head and slowly blinked my eyes open. She was resting on her side, her head propped up on her elbow, her hair falling softly around her shoulders. She looked like a damn angel. _

"_Good morning beautiful." I said with a scratchy sigh, feeling like the luckiest bastard alive getting to wake up next to her. _

"_Good morning yourself, handsome." She whispered softly back, as her hand began to circle lower and lower down my stomach. She had that look in her eye, and I knew where this was headed. _

_I reached a hand up and brushed her hair off her shoulder, as I propped myself up and kissed the hollow of her neck. _

"_It looks like someone else is awake too." She giggled. I fucking loved that sound._

"_He's always awake for you, babe." I teased, as I slid my hand down her shoulder, across her collarbone, and trailed one finger between the swell of her breasts. Her breathing picked up as I nipped and sucked at her throat. _

_She softly slid her hand down my stomach and grabbed a hold of my dick, which was proudly standing at attention. She rubbed her thumb over the tip, and I sucked in a sharp breath as she began to slowly pump up and down. That shit felt too good, and I knew I wouldn't last long, so I surprised her by flipping her quickly onto her back. She let out a sexy ass squeal in surprise and I yanked her arms up over her head. I crashed my lips to hers and she opened almost immediately to me. Our tongues played out a battle of dominance, while I kept both her wrists in one hand and moved the other slowly down her ribs. I cupped her left breast and rolled her nipple between my fingers. She broke the kiss gasping and let out a deep, sleepy moan when I nibbled beneath her ear. _

_My hand trailed down across her hip and down to her slick core. She was breathing heavy, and already dripping wet for me. Wasting no time at all, I reached my hand back up and held both her wrists in both of my hands, lined up and slammed into her. She screamed my name, and I felt her pulse around me immediately. Fucking sexy shit. She opened her eyes, and I could see all her love for me in that moment. That was all it took for me to start moving. This wasn't about to be some long drawn out lovemaking, this was fast, and hard fucking, and she was loving every minute of it. Moaning and meeting me thrust for thrust. It didn't take long for her to start clenching again and when she threw her head back in ecstasy, I followed her, as she pulled and milked me dry. _

_I collapsed on top of her, both of us breathing hard and released her wrists. She softly glided her fingertips up and down my back while I kissed her shoulder and neck. _

"_That's what I call a good morning." She said with a smile. _

"_Baby, you can wake me up like that any day." I said back with a chuckle. _

_She patted me on my ass, and said, "Come on, I'm starving. Let's go eat!"_

"_You keep spakin' my ass, and you're gonna starve a little longer." I teased and then licked up the length of her throat to her chin. _

_She shivered, which did nothing to help keep me from getting hard again and I bucked my hips._

"_Nope, nope, nope. Get up, I'm hungry." She laughed as she pushed at my chest. _

_I reluctantly pulled out of her and we managed to shower and dress, keeping our hands to ourselves. Thirty minutes later we were seated at a booth at the café meeting Jessica for the first time. We both ordered coffee, but she went for the strawberry French toast and I opted for the chocolate Oreo waffles. God, that shit was sinful, but so good._

x x x

The sound of dishes clattering somewhere in the back of the café brings me back to the present. _Christ, I need to find her! _I shake my head and try to focus on where else she could be. It's still raining buckets, so I rush back to my truck.

I pull back out onto the causeway and head west towards Dixon Heights. A left on Market Street and I realize I'm heading towards _Pat's Paperback Exchange. _She fucking loves and I mean _loves_ to read. I think about all the times I've teased her for the enormous amounts of books she lines the shelves in the study with. Or how many times she's come into town just to trade out some of her old one's with "newer" old ones from _Pat's_.

A quick drive around the parking lot, and I can see her car is not here. I don't know the storeowner like she does. He'd probably look at me like I have three heads if I rush in there asking for her, so I continue my drive west.

Before I even realize it, I'm in the heart of Wilmington. On a normal day, I love everything about this small city. I love the history and southern charm, the battleship, the river walk and paddle boats on the Cape Fear River. I love that we have four seasons and the streets are lined with trees, taking away the feeling of a bustling metropolis making you feel at home. This time of year is my favorite. It's springtime, and the azaleas are in bloom.

Today, I fucking loathe it with a passion. Today the azaleas mock me at every turn. Today every sight I see reminds me what a fuck up I am for letting it get this bad. Today reminds me that she left and I don't have a fucking clue where she is. Today my heart breaks a little bit more with the memories of this town. Walking hand in hand along the riverfront at sunset; taking haunted tours of the town. Yep, today I fucking hate Wilmington.

As I pass the mansion museum I know where I am headed. I turn south on Third Street and head towards Greenfield Lake. She loves the lake. She hates the alligators and the snakes, but she _loves_ the lake.

Today, I am going to find her if it's the last thing I ever fucking do.

xxx

I'm soaked to the damn bone, and I don't care. As I sit here on a bench at the park and watch the rain move in sheets across the lake, I know she's not here. In fact, there's no one here. I am the only idiot sitting out here during a monsoonal spring rain. I'm an idiot for so many other reasons as well.

I reach down and pluck a wildflower from the grass at my feet. I replay the events of two nights ago in my head over and over. She warned me. She said that she was tired of feeling second best, playing second fiddle to my job. I heard her; I just never really believed she'd leave. Or, maybe I just thought I had more time. Or maybe, fuck, I don't know.

I was in the study, going over an upcoming case. I have my own law practice, and not to brag, but I have yet to lose a case. I'm a family law attorney, specializing in child advocacy law. Some of my toughest and most rewarding cases have been those that remove children from abuse situations and place them with permanent families via adoption all the while putting their abuser behind bars.

The case I was reviewing; the father, one James Hunter, had sexually molested his nine-year-old daughter for years. The investigators on the case believed that it had been happening since she was at least two years old. Sick bastard. His trial is scheduled to start next week, and I feel like I have a solid case to put him away for a very long time.

x x x

_A timid knock on the study door pulled my attention away from the case documents to find her leaning against the doorframe. She was wearing grey cotton sleep shorts and a matching tank, her hair pulled back in a lose ponytail. She smiled shyly at me, and I smiled back. So beautiful._

"_Hey." She said softly._

"_Hey." I replied back._

"_Are you coming to bed anytime soon?" she asked, and I glanced at my watch to see that it was already past midnight._

"_Shit babe. Yes, sorry. I just got caught up in these files and didn't realize what time it is." I said as I began piling them into a folder. _

"_You seem to do that often ya know?" she said, still not moving from the doorway. _

_I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "I'm sorry babe. I just want to make sure this asshole gets what's coming to him. No way out, ya know?"_

_She nodded sadly. "Edward…" she began, but then sighed deeply. _

"_Babe?" I responded. I could tell something was weighing on her mind, but she seemed reluctant to say it. _

"_I just can't keep doing this." She stated and looked deep into my eyes. "I feel like all you ever do anymore is sit in this study and review files, or you're at the office or the courthouse. We never do anything together anymore." A lone tear trickled down her face. _

_I stood to my feet quickly and made my way to her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her head to my chest. _

"_Don't cry baby. Please don't cry. I promise, just as soon as this case is over, I'll take some time off. We can go down to Florida and see your mom or something. How's that sound?" _

"_I've heard this all before Edward. You'll take time off. You'll slow down. You'll pass the next case off to Mike. But, you never do. I can't do this anymore. I can't live with broken promises." She sobbed into my chest, fisting her hand in my undershirt._

_I stroked her hair, letting the silky chocolate strands run through my fingers. _

"_I'm sorry baby. I'll do better. You deserve better. I'm keeping this promise to you, I swear." I said, and I pulled back and cupped her face in my hands. _

"_You're right. I do deserve better." She said firmly, and something inside me snapped. She'd said it with too much conviction. It was too final. I pressed my lips firmly to hers, hoping against hope that she could feel the sincerity of my words. _

_I held her close that night in bed as she sobbed. I vowed to myself that I would make this up to her. She deserved the world, and I was failing to give it to her. I was going to do better. _

x x x

Renee! Of course! I ran back to my truck a soaking, shivering mess. Tears mixed with rain as it dripped from my hair. I picked my cell phone up from the seat and scrolled through my contacts. Renee would know where she was. She would have called her and told her what was going on.

I dialed the phone and waited on baited breath as it rang. Renee would tell me. Wouldn't she?

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes: <strong>

Well? I hope this chap gives you a little more insight into Bella's mind. I have to confess...since I am so used to writing BPOV, I had a flash of her POV for an upcoming chapter, so this may end up having both their sides...not 100% sure yet, but it's not out of the question either.

Let me hear it. Love it? Hate it? Bored to tears? Want more? :)


	3. Chapter 2 :: Broken

**A/N: Still with me? Hope so! We're getting a little deeper this chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Broken<strong>

"Yes, Edward. I _have_ spoken with my daughter. She figured you'd call me." Her tone is cold and icy. She is pissed at me, and I can't say I blame her.

"Please, Renee. You know how much I love her. I need to find her." I say in almost a whisper. It's an eight-hour drive to Jacksonville, Florida, but I'll do it right now if that's where she's headed.

She sighs, "You know Edward, sometimes love isn't enough."

_What the fuck?_

I let my head fall back against the headrest and squeeze my eyes shut. The pain in my chest is overwhelming. Renee is flighty at best, always jumping from one "life-long dream" to the next. Conversations with her are just as confusing and cryptic. At the moment, I have no energy for any of it, but if it helps me find her, I'll just have to endure it.

"What does that mean Renee?"

"I know you love my daughter. But from what I gather, you love your job too, possibly more. Maybe if you put as much time and devotion into her as you do to your job, we wouldn't be having this conversation? There has to be balance Edward. You can't love without balance."

_Fuck my life. Does she really think I love my job more? I'm a selfish bastard! A fool!_

"That's not true Renee. I love her more than life itself. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. She knows that." I let out a sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

She chuckles. "Oh Edward. If she _knew_ that, would you be calling me right now?"

_Fuck. Point made._

We're both silent for a few beats. It's stifling. If Renee knows where she is, or where she's going, she's not going to tell me.

I hear her take a deep breath. "Look Edward, I love you and I know deep down, you love my daughter. Somewhere along the way, you lost your balance. All I am going to say is that reality has given her a huge slap in the face, and she had to make a decision. She has done what she felt is best for her, and you need to try and respect that."

_Are you fucking kidding me right now?_

"NO! I can't lose her! Don't you see? I'm a fu-, I'm a mess, and I need to fix this. I need to make it right!" I take another deep breath. "Please Renee, did she tell you where she's going?"

"Even if she did, I wouldn't betray her trust in telling you." Icy Renee is back.

_No, of course not._

"If you talk to her again, can you please just tell her that I love her? That I need her? Tell her I'll do anything to fix this." I choke back a sob.

"Not that it will make a difference; actions speak louder than words Edward. But I can pass along the message."

I can't shake the feeling that there is something more that she is not telling me, but I also know that no amount of begging is going to get me anywhere. I can only hope that she will tell her that I am desperate to find her and fix this mess. Hopefully, _those_ actions will show her.

We end the call, and I feel the desperation and pain take a deeper root into my soul. This can't possibly be happening. I'm having one of those life-defining, out of body moments. The one where you get a flash of everything you have versus everything you _could_ have and everything you stand to lose. Yea, one of those moments.

I feel lost. Broken. Empty. She took a piece of me with her, and I realize that more than ever now. She's the half that makes me whole, completes me, and all that other romantic bullshit. But it's true. I'm nothing but a shell of a man without her. Incomplete.

A crack of thunder rumbles and the tears begin again. I pound my fists over and over into the steering wheel, fighting back the urge to rip the damn thing off. Instead, I lean my head against it and sob.

_Poor me. Poor, fucking pathetic, pitiful me. Get over yourself asshole. You did this to yourself. Now figure out how the hell to fix it!_

After a few more deep breaths to try and calm myself, I start my truck up and leave the lake. I don't have any idea where else to look. She could literally be anywhere! This may not be New York City, but it's big enough for her to hide anywhere, and I wouldn't know where she is.

The rain is beginning to ease as I head back up Third Street. I make a left and drive down to the riverfront. The streets are pretty empty due to the weather, but the shops are open and I can see one of the paddle-wheel riverboats pulling away from the dock.

_We took a sunset river cruise on that one once. Eating, drinking, dancing. I remember laughing so hard that night and just enjoying each other. We had so much fun. She was so carefree…and happy. She pretty much radiated happiness._

I shake my head at the memory. When was the last time I saw her acting like that? Thinking about it now, I can't even remember the last time we did something to let loose. Sure, we live on the beach, and we swim and surf, but how about a date? Jesus Edward, when was the last time you took her on a fucking _date?_ No wonder she left my sorry ass!

_My God, I'm an idiot! If I had only been paying more attention._

Rose is right. Renee is right. I _don't_ deserve her. Have I even done anything in the last six months to prove my worthiness of her? My fucking actions haven't been shit! Work. That's all I have done. I got too caught up in goddamn work! _Shit!_

Driving mindlessly, I have ended up by the port, so I flip back around and decide to go home. _Home._ Yea, like it's home without her there.

xxx

As I walk back through the front door, the emptiness hits me like a brick wall. I drop my keys and my phone into the bowl on the entry table and glance at the clock. It's been six hours since she left and yet, she's everywhere. She's cooking a meal in the kitchen. She's dancing in my arms in the living room. She's smiling and laughing as I chase her up the stairs to our bedroom.

I walk to the kitchen and glass crunches under my foot. _Right. Need to clean that up._ Like a robot, I go through the motions, all the while memories of the last few years in our home play on repeat in my mind. _Where could she be?_

As I dump the dustpan of glass into the trashcan, my phone rings from the entryway, and I fly out of the kitchen to answer it. _Maybe?_

Emmett. _I internally laugh at myself for thinking she'd really call me. What a joke._

"How ya doin' little brother?" he asks solemnly.

"How would you be doing, Em?" I respond with a sigh.

"Yea, well….I guess you have a point. Have you heard from her?"

"No. Have you? Has Rose?" I ask, somewhat hopeful.

He sighs. "I haven't talked to her, no. But I am pretty sure Rose has. She's pissed at you man. I had to pretty much hide her car keys, so she wouldn't drive down there and rip you a new one." He half-heartedly chuckles.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I deserve whatever she has to give me, so…." I walk into the living room and fall back onto the couch. "Does Rose know where she is?"

"Honestly, I don't know man. If she does, she won't tell me though. She knows I can't keep my mouth shut for shit." He chuckles again, and this time I join him.

He's right. If he knew where she was, he wouldn't be able to _not_ tell me. That's just Emmett. He's honest to a fault.

"Fuck, Em! I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to live without her." I choke out as I slam my fist into the couch and let my head fall back.

"Listen bro, from what I can guess, there is a lot more to this than you think. Rose isn't telling me anything, so I am not one hundred percent sure. It's just…I overheard some shit they were sayin', and man…" he pauses. I hold my breath.

"What Em? What? What the fuck do I not know?" I practically growl when he doesn't continue. My heart feels like it's about to beat right out of my chest.

"I think I may have said too much already. Rose is giving me the evil eye. _You know that shit's scary man," _he whispers at the end.

I can hear shuffling on the other end of the line, and their muffled voices.

"Em? EMMETT!" I shout. This is doing _nothing_ for my self-control at the moment.

"Sorry, dude. Rose isn't going to tell you _or me _where she is. She said she wants you to sweat it out some more. I'm sorry man."

_Fucking son-of-a-bitch!_ I pound my fist repeatedly into the couch.

"Fuck Em! Fuck! How am I supposed to fix this shit when no one will fucking tell me where she is?" _Fuck!_

"Breathe little brother." _Yea, because that's so easy to do._ "Listen, I'm not making any promises, but let me talk to Rosie, ok? I know you love her man; we all know that. Shit's just hit the fan right now, and everyone needs to calm down and look at the bigger picture." He's trying to be soothing, but it's not helping.

I take a deep breath, close my eyes and try to settle myself. "Fine. Just call me back ok?"

"Hang in there, Edward. Everything will work out." _Easy for him to say, his woman is in the same room with him._

"Right. Talk to ya later Em."

I let my hand with the phone fall to the couch and think back over what Emmett was saying. _What did he overhear? What did he mean 'there's more to this than I think'? Renee said reality gave her a slap in the face. What reality? We haven't been living in fantasyland. Or maybe I have been?_

A frustrated growl erupts from my chest and I leap up off the couch. I shove my phone into my pocket and walk to the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. I twist off the cap and throw it on the counter. After a long pull, I turn to go up the stairs. The portraits on the wall stop me in my tracks.

Our first Fall here, she hired a professional photographer to take portraits of us. I wasn't jumping for joy at the idea, but she wanted it, so we did. We met him out at Greenfield Lake one late afternoon. The weather was so perfect that day. I wore a white button up with khaki cargo pants and she had on this simple white dress that floated around her. She was stunning. He took well over one hundred photos of us that day, and while at the time it seemed excessive, I can't help but be grateful for them right now.

The one hanging in the center is the largest of the three on the wall. It's a twenty by twenty-four inch canvas. The angle of the shot was taken from behind us. You can see the lake in the background and the trees on the other side of it. We're both turned slightly toward each other, lips pressed together. Even from this angle, you can see the smile on her face. The one to the right, we're both facing the camera. She's standing with her back to my chest, my arms wrapped around her waist hers over mine; our eyes are closed and she has a small smile on her face. I'm pressing my lips to her temple. The one on the left, I'm holding her up in my arms. Her legs are wrapped around my waist, one arm around the top of my shoulder with her fingers lightly on the back of my neck, the other is low on my other shoulder, her fingers lightly on my shoulder blade. Our heads are together as we look at the camera, but neither of us is smiling. It's almost a seductive stare. Her cheek pressed to my forehead, my chin near her chest. The way the sun is hitting us from behind we're almost glowing. I gently trace the contour of her face with one finger, and the tears come again.

_Fuck!_

I stomp up the final steps, feeling anger take the place of pain. Misplaced anger? Probably. I'm mad at her for leaving. I'm mad at Rose and Renee for not telling me shit. Do they think this is some sort of fucked up game? This is my fucking life! Not some trivialized occurrence, but my _life!_ Don't they get that? Wouldn't they want my help if this were _their_ shit? Of course they fucking would! So then, _what the fuck?_ Why are the so damn determined to keep me from finding her? From fixing this fuck up of epic proportions? Why doesn't she _want_ me to fix it?

I stop in the doorway of our bedroom. I haven't been in here since this morning. Not since she left. I lean against the doorframe and take another pull from my beer as I look around. Nothing seems out of place, and that's just wrong on so many levels. It's like the walls should be crying too. Shouldn't everything be out of place without her here?

I hesitantly walk into the room and look around. The bed's made, just like she always does it. The drapes are pulled back from the window, just like she always does it. A tattered paperback book rests on the table beside her side of the bed, just like she always…

_Fool! You're a fucking fool. You took her for granted…idiot. _

Another pull from my beer, and I walk into our bathroom. She calls the color of blue on the walls ocean blue. They make the white marble counters and white cabinets stand out. Her sink on one side, mine on the other. The huge jetted tub sits in its corner with windows that overlook the backyard. The glass enclosed rain shower to the left of it. She loves this damn bathroom. It's her little sanctuary.

On her counter is a simple white porcelain vase that holds a single pink flower. Don't ask me what it's called, but she has a huge bush of them in the backyard. I walk to her sink, set the bottle of beer on the counter and press my hands to the cool marble surface. An errant thought pops in my head, and before I can stop myself from thinking it, it's there. _How could she just leave everything she loves behind? Even her precious flowers?_

I lean forward pressing my nose to it and inhale. The scent rockets through me and my heart slams in my chest again. I pull back and look at myself in the mirror.

_You're a fucking idiot Cullen. A complete and total idiot. You let her slip right through your damn fingers. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot!_

An uncontrolled rage bubbles up from deep in my core, as I rock back on my heels and shove my fist hard into the mirror.

"Ahhhhhhh…mother fu-, son-of-a…FUUUUCK!" I cry out realizing the idiocy of what I've just done, as the mirror shatters under my knuckles and splinters out like a spider web. I clutch my wrist with my free hand and wince at the pain.

I bend down and throw open the bottom drawer that's on the right of her sink. I grab a washcloth and run the water to wet it. My knuckles are bleeding everywhere and I can feel pieces of glass as I try to gently rub the cloth across the wounds. _Fuck, this is gonna need stitches._ I wince again at the pain as I pull fragments of glass from my skin. _Stupid move Edward. _I drop my head and let out a deep breath, leaning on my forearms over the edge of the sink. Something in the drawer catches my eye, and I furrow my brow in wonder.

I reach across and turn off the water, wrap the towel around my hand and squat down. Shoved behind the stack of washcloths is a blue and white plastic shopping bag. Never noticing it there before, I pull the drawer all the way out, followed by the bag. It's twisted and wrapped around a small box. I grasp it from the bottom and shake it loose, letting the contents fall to the floor. If it's not the box alone that sends my head spinning and my heart racing, it's the fact that the box is open that does.

I slump to the floor, lean back against the cabinets, and bring my knees to my chest. For the second time today, I am frozen in my spot. I bring my shredded fist to my mouth and bite on the towel as I fight back a sob threatening in my throat. I just stare at it, like it may jump up and bite me or some shit.

I close my eyes and my stomach lurches. I jump to my feet and scramble to the toilet, bringing nothing but the beer and bile up. This quickly makes me realize I haven't eaten at all today. Sweat beads on my forehead, as I continue to painfully dry heave. I slowly ease back and rest on my heels. I wipe my mouth with the back of my good hand and take a few slow breaths.

_What the HELL is going on? Is this the real reason she left? But… why?_

In a state of total confusion, I rise to my feet and walk to my side of the bathroom, still avoiding the box like it will attack me. I grab my mouthwash from under my sink and rinse out my mouth before turning around and leaning back on the counter.

_Is this even possible? Again, why? Why leave?_

I pull my phone from my pocket and dial her number. I'm sure it's a feeble attempt, but it's all I have right now. As the phone rings and rings, I feel another piece of my heart break when I realize she's not going to answer. I choke when her voicemail picks up; the mere sound of her voice kills me.

"Baby, please." I sob like the pathetic ass I have become. "Please talk to me. Please come home. I'm so, so sorry. I can fix this. I can make it right, I swear. I need you. God, I need you. I'm nothing without you. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you, and I won't stop trying to find you. Please, just –" the beep from her voicemail cuts me off, and it takes the last bit of restraint I have not to throw it across the room. I sigh and end the call.

I make no attempt to clean up the bathroom, as I walk back into our bedroom. I fall back onto the bed and let the pain in my chest take over. _There has to be a way to get her back. There just has to. _I toss my arm over my eyes, wince at the pain in my hand and realize first things first….

I need to go get stitches. _Stupid ass._

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><p><strong>Ruh-ro! What's the secret? Any guesses?<strong>


	4. Chapter 3 :: Home

**A/N: **You people BLOW ME AWAY with your reviews! THANK YOU! I am SO glad that you're enjoying the story! Seriously! xoxox So, something about this chapter spooked me, so now I am worried you'll all run for the hills laughing at me as you go! But, I hope not!

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox.

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><p>Four hours. It took four goddamn hours to get seen in the ER. I guess what they say about Cape Fear Valley being the busiest ER in the state is true. Probably doesn't help that it's also Saturday. Another hour and a half after they finally called my name, I left the proud owner of twenty-seven stitches across the top of my hand and knuckles and a prescription for pain pills. Fun times.<p>

I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted by the time I pull into the driveway. My hand burns like it's on fire at the slightest movement, now that the anesthesia they used to numb it has worn off. It's pretty intense, but I welcome the distraction.

It's close to midnight, and I have nothing left to give. I'm not hungry, but since I have to take pain pills; I know I need to eat. I grab an apple from the fruit bowl in the kitchen and a bottle of water from the fridge. It's gonna have to do for now. I head upstairs; avoid looking at our photos on the wall, and go straight to our bedroom. An uneasy feeling runs through my blood as I cross the threshold.

I have so many _more_ unanswered questions and I don't even begin to know how to process them. I set the water on my bedside table and run my fingers through my hair, grasping at the roots as I scan the bed. I'm tired, but somehow I doubt I'll sleep. I just can't even fathom sleeping in this bed without her. My eyes roam the room and lock on the doorway to the bathroom. I feel my heart rate speed up again. Facing the inevitable, I slowly walk over and flip on the light.

_Holy shit._

It looks like a crime scene with broken glass; blood everywhere, a bloody towel and _that box_. Stepping further in, I try to block out everything and at least clean it up. Might as well, sleep is the last thing I will be able to do right now. As best I can with one hand, I clean out her sink and wipe down the counter with bleach. The mirror taunts me and I am more than a little pissed at myself for that stupid outburst. I toss the towels in the basket under the counter and turn to face the floor.

_Goddamn box._

I squat down, pick up the plastic bag and crumple it up into a ball; all the while my eyes are focused on the box. _Suck it up asshole._ I tentatively reach for it and let my fingers trace the contours. Holding it in my grasp, I read over the label. I am fully aware of what it is, but I do it simply because…well, I don't know, maybe I am hoping it is a figment of my imagination? I turn it upright; slide my fingers thru the open flap to peek inside and then flip the box entirely, shaking out its contents. A single, foil-wrapped package lands on the floor at my feet. I sigh and shake my head as I reach for it. I'm so utterly confused at this moment, and it really does nothing to help the heartache as well. It only adds to it.

_Is she? If she is, then why would she leave? Why wouldn't she tell me? Are things that bad? Am _I_ so bad that she can't even picture me being ok with this? Does she even want me to be ok with it? If she's not, is this the reality Renee was talking about? A close call of some sorts that helped her make up her mind? _

The simple fact that either way, she doesn't want me kills me. Chest ripped wide open, heart ripped out, kills me. As I slide it back inside the box, and place it on the counter, my phone chimes with a text message.

_This late? Who the hell?_

_**She was here. Gone now. – Emmett**_

**What the fuck? Why didn't you call me? – E**

_**Sorry. Rosie hid all the phones in the house. Wasn't good E. – Emmett**_

**Where is she? What happened? – E**

A few minutes pass, and I am ready to rip all my hair out as I wait for a response. Suddenly the phone rings, scaring the shit out of me, and I almost drop it.

"Where is she?" I demand.

"It's Rose. Listen, I know I was being a bitch earlier. I own that, but you deserved it." She states firmly.

"Rose, please." I'm so exhausted; it's more of a squeak. I walk to the bed, sit on the edge and rest my elbows on my knees.

"Edward," she sighs, "for some reason that girl still loves you. She shouldn't, she should just cut ties and keep walking away after the way that you have been treating her, but she does." This makes both my heart flutter and my stomach twist.

"I know, Rose." I respond softly.

"No, you really don't know Edward. I've been the one that has been there for her time and again over the last year, when she's called me crying her damn eyes out for _you_. I'm the one that has stood by and tried to be supportive of her, because I know she loves _you_. But right now Edward, my heart is fucking breaking for _her_ because you have been too goddamn _blind_ to see what's been right in front of your face. Emmett was right, he had to stop me from driving down there today, but I'm glad that he did, or I wouldn't have been here when she _absolutely_ needed me the most."

I sigh, really because I don't know what to say, and I just take it.

"Now, I would never betray her trust, so I am not going to tell you everything that I think you should know. Believe me, I _want_ to tell you, simply for the fact that I want you to hurt as bad as you've hurt her, but I won't. I will say this, either get your head out of your ass and fix this, or let her go. She is probably…no, she _is _the most compassionate, understanding, logical and _passionate_ person I know. She doesn't deserve to be treated like anything less than a fucking queen Edward." She sighs again and I close my eyes while grasping firmly on my hair.

"She had to make a really hard decision today, and it wasn't irrational, you need to understand that much. We both know how she tends to think and over thinks things. But this…this was the hardest thing she's _ever_ had to do." She pauses as I take in everything she's said.

_How the hell could I have been so blind? _

"So, now it's your turn Edward. What's it gonna be?" she huffs. "You either make this better, or you leave her alone."

"Rose…I don't even know where to begin to try and fix this anymore. She won't talk to me; no one will tell me where she is or where she's going so I can get to her. And then today…" I pause and look back towards the bathroom. I let out a deep breath. "I love her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my life. There is no life for me without her in it. I'm now starting to realize that things weren't as I thought they were. So yea, you're right. I have been blind. But my eyes are wide fucking open now, and I want more than anything to fix it…fix it all." I swallow the huge lump that has formed in my throat.

"That's what I wanted to hear." And she fucking hangs up on me again.

_What the fuck? So that was just a torture phone call? Made to make me feel like even more of an ass, and still give me no answers? Dammit Rosalie!_

I toss my phone on the bedside table, stand up and undress. As I slide beneath the cool sheets, my chest squeezes and I feel claustrophobic. This bed is entirely too big without her in it. I flip onto my back and stare blankly at the ceiling. Sleep evades me.

xxx

It's been two days since she left. Two days of begging and pleading with Rose to no avail. She says she won't tell me anything unless she's given permission to. Renee still isn't telling me anything either, and most of the time she doesn't even answer my phone calls. It's been two days of driving around town seeking out people we know, checking hotels, bed and breakfasts, and places she likes to visit. Two days of dead end roads. Worst of all, two nights of virtually no sleep.

It's midday on Monday. I had tried to go into my study today and look over the Hunter files, but it just made me feel like shit. I couldn't focus on the case in the least. So, here I sit on the beach under Johnnie Mercer's pier, watching the waves roll in and the families enjoying the sun and surf. Usually the ocean calms me; today I'm just numb. I know it's too soon to give up, and I don't want to, but with nothing to go on I feel helpless. The feeling sucks.

I stand to walk back towards our house when the sound of giggling and laughing catches my attention. It sounds so much like her, that I am momentarily frozen on the spot. A young couple runs past me as he grabs her around the waist and spins her to face him. He plants a deep heavy kiss on her lips as she wraps her arms around his neck and I have to turn away.

_She whips her towel out in front of her and gingerly sets it on the sand before grabbing a bottle of sunscreen from our bag. _

"_Baby, can you put some lotion on my back?" she asks with a coy smile. Just the sight of her alone is enough to tighten my shorts, but add in her white string bikini and her hair in a messy bun, and yea, I'm pitching a tent. _

_She moves to stand in front of me and turns her back to me. I squirt lotion into my hands and then rub them together before sliding them along her silky smooth shoulders. She shutters and I smirk and as I move my hands lower down her spine. I'm mesmerized at how tiny she is under my hands. Her skin is like velvet and delicate, spotted here and there with a freckle or two. I move my hands down along her ribs and her head lulls back. I take the opportunity to press my lips to the juncture of her neck and shoulder and wrap my arms around her waist. _

"_Mmm" she softly moans as I kiss up the side of her neck and nibble on her ear. _

"_You better stop before I have my way with you, and we're arrested for indecent exposure." She says breathlessly. _

_I softly chuckle. "Then maybe you should try harder not to be to damn tempting." I whisper in her ear while sliding my thumbs into the strings at her hips. She shutters again. _

_Just as I am about to spin her to face me, she bolts from my arms and rushes towards the ocean. I'm in a lust trance as I watch her ass sway when she runs. Fucking beautiful. I take off after her and catch her just as she's knee deep in the water. I grab her from behind, wrapping my arms firmly around her waist and lift her up, her feet kicking out in front of her while she squeals and laughs. _

"_Edward! Put me down!" she demands while squirming and giggling. _

"_Nope." I keep walking, feeling the waves hit me at the waist. _

"_Edward!" she squeals again. "Put me down, PLEASE!"_

_This time I relent and drop her. Her feet plant on the ocean bottom just as a wave washes over her head and hits me in the chest. She sputters and wipes the water from her face, glaring at me. I can't help laughing at my fierce little wet kitten. _

_She smacks me in the chest and I lift her up, pulling her to me. She feigns annoyance, but then wraps her arms and legs around me with a small smile. _

"_Mean." She huffs._

"_Aww, baby. I'm sorry. You looked hot. I thought maybe you wanted to cool off." I tease, squeezing her a little. _

_She sticks her little tongue out at me and I chuckle at her. I press my nose to her collarbone, "Ok, you definitely looked hot, so _I _needed to cool off." I whisper pressing my lips to her salty, wet skin. _

_She sighs and then rolls her hips, feeling exactly how turned on she made me. I lift my head up and catch her gaze, as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. I buck my hips into hers and her eyes widen slightly before glazing over. _

_She presses her lips to mine and I open willingly, feeling her soft tongue meet mine. Soft and sweet I hold her tighter to me as our passion for one another takes over. She pulls back suddenly and breaks from my embrace. I watch her as she dives under the water and swims back towards the shore. I slowly follow behind her and once she's knee deep in the water she turns to me, winks and then sprints back to the beach. _

_Vixen._

I kick the dry sand under my feet and shove my hands into my pockets as I head back to our house. The lack of sleep combined with my emotional state is taking its toll. My mind is a fog and even though I want to, I can't seem to cry anymore. The stinging sensation is still there, but nothing ever comes. My body feels like it's been rolled around in a rock tumbler and spit out.

Just as I make it to the split in the dunes that will take me out to the main road, my cell rings. I pull it out of my pocket to see that it's my baby sister. Alice is a force all her own, so this conversation, if she knows, is sure to be interesting to say the least. She and her husband Jasper recently moved to Paris, France. She's the lead fashion designer for Gucci and has had the privilege of living in Milan, Tokyo, New York City, LA and now Paris. She's living her dream. I smile at her face on my phone, thinking of how much I miss her and answer.

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN! If I weren't across the Atlantic Ocean from you right now! I swear I'd…." she screams at me over the line. "Would you mind explaining to me why I just got off the phone with the sobbing mess that is your girlfriend, telling me she left your sorry ass?"

_Shit. I forget how scary pissed off Pixie is. _

"Alice." I try.

"For some ungodly reason, that girl loves you, and you have completely ripped her heart out! What the fuck are you doing Edward? God, your such an _idiot_!"

"Alice." I try again, a little more firm.

"Do you have any idea how pissed I am at you right now? Your job? Your _JOB_, Edward? Really? When have you ever put work first? When? Huh? And why now? Why when you could have the best possible life with the woman who was _made_ for you? And not only that Edward, but now she's…" she was starting to screech. Getting to that decibel level that causes glass to explode, high pitched screeching.

_Jesus Christ. _

"Alice, listen…"

"No, you listen, and you listen good big brother. You should feel damn lucky that I can't get to you right now. I want to kick you in the balls, punch you in the face and hug your neck all at the same time. You need to fix this, Edward. Like, really need to fix this. Do you understand me?"

"MARY ALICE WHITLOCK!" and she finally shut the fuck up.

I hear her huff. "God, I'm so mad at you right now. How did you manage to fuck up the single _best_ thing that has ever happened to you?" She states softly, and then I hear her choke up.

"I know Alice. I'm mad at me too. I will fix this. I _want_ to fix this. But no one will tell me where she is, and she won't answer her phone. What else can I do? I'm at a fucking loss here. It's been almost three days, and I don't know what else to do."

"She's…well…she um…I think…" she's hesitating. Alice has the biggest mouth on the planet. She's a thousand times worse than Emmett, and if you add it to the fact that she and I are closer than her and Em, well…you see where this is going.

"What Alice? What do you know?" I ask firmly.

"Edwarrrrd! I can't, I promised I-" she whines. Good, she's breaking.

"Goddammit Alice! Tell me where she is!" I roar.

"She went home Edward." She says in a sad, quiet almost whisper.

"What? Home? Alice, she's not ho-" _Oh. OH!_

_Fuck!_

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><p><strong>End Notes: <strong>Dun, dun, dunnnnnn...

Well? We're getting closer! Next chap...BPOV! xoxoxo

Oh yea...and at the suggestion of my fab-o Beta, I got me a Twitter. Not sure how interesting I am, but...lol If you wanna follow me, it's MarieCullen07 :)


	5. Chapter 4 :: Journey

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Really, really love you guys! xoxoxo The fact that you're so passionate about this story is just awesome!

So, my wonderfully awesome beta had to talk me down from the ledge with this chap. It kinda took on a mind of its own...add a few glasses of wine while writing it...and I was ready to trash the whole thing. But she convinced me that it was worthy of where the story is going, so here it is. Some of you will love it, some of you won't. I'll deal with that. lol

Keep in mind...I was inspired by the song (youTube it if you need to)...and I have to remind MYSELF to go back and listen to it often...just to keep the ideas I had in my head on track as I write, so maybe that will help you guys too.

All the usual:

**Story Blog** (chap pics, character pics, song, etc) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

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><p><p>

**BPOV**

A huge sigh of relief leaves my lungs as I shift my car into park. Seeing my old childhood home with its white paint and green trim, nestled into the greens of the forest, makes me smile a little. The sight floods my mind with so many memories. Some are good and some are bad. But it's the good ones that have brought me here. It's the good ones that I am seeking comfort in.

It's a brisk, overcast day here in Forks, Washington. Nothing unusual about that, but it's something I haven't been used to since living on the East Coast for the last four years. Everything here is so green, cold and wet. At least for the moment, it's not raining. While technically it's home, it doesn't feel like it as much anymore. Home is where _he _is. Or, that's what I used to think anyway.

Things between us haven't been the same for months. If I'm really honest with myself it's been longer than that, but for at least the past seven months it's been close to unbearable. It's as if I don't exist in that damn house anymore, especially since he took on the Hunter case. Don't misunderstand me, I know he's good at his job, and from what I understand; the bastard needs to be locked away for life. But is it worth the cost? Is it worth our relationship? Is it worth giving up everything else that we could have in life? I know the work that he does is important, and I don't fault him for wanting to be good at his job, but he's become a hermit. It's beyond the point of ridiculous.

There was one point in time when I truly believed I was the center of his world, and maybe that's a selfish thing to still want, but when everything I've done is for him, and with him in mind, it's painful when it's not reciprocated. It's a very empty feeling to plan a romantic evening, put on some sexy lingerie, light some candles; only to have him come home late, barely giving me a second glance as he heads straight to his study. I mean, shit, if I stood at the front door naked I doubt he'd notice. The man used to be insatiable, but lately the only time we even have a sex life is when I initiate it before he leaves for work in the mornings.

I can't even count the number of times I tried to approach him about it, too. He told me he'd change, but God I heard that line one too many times. _Fuck that. _Going to bed alone, and crying myself to sleep is not what I had in mind when I left Washington to be with him. There really is only so many times a person can hear, _"I'm sorry" _and _"I'll do better"_ before the words lose their meaning. What I wouldn't give for things to be different?

_Did he mean is this time? Maybe it would be different? Fuck that. Nothings going to change._

I had called Alice as I boarded the ferry in Kingston this morning. To say she was pissed would be an understatement. She was fuming, and if it weren't for the fact that she is in Paris, I'm sure I would have seen smoke coming from her ears. I only hope I didn't screw up by slipping and telling her where I am.

_Shit!_

_What if he finds out? Will he come here? Can I handle seeing him? I miss him…that voicemail he left me. God I wanted to go to him. It took every ounce of self-preservation and pride not to call him back._

I shake my head to refocus. I have to do this. I have more important things to focus on now than just my feelings and love for him. _But God help me, I do love him. _No. NO! I am stronger than this. I gave him enough chances; it's time for me to take care of me.

_Stay strong._

With another sigh, my head held high and a deep pang in my chest, I reach for the handle and step out of my silver Volvo C30. The dampness of the air is like its own separate entity here. It's almost like you can reach out and grab it. I take comfort in it. I walk around to the back, pop the hatchback and remove my duffle bag. Shutting it, I take a look around at the tall fir trees that surround my old home. They're so dense and dark, even in the middle of the day that it makes me shiver.

As I am walking up the drive, I see the curtains in the living room window sway and before I've made it to the first step of the porch, the front door rapidly swings open.

"Daddy?" It comes out as a question and a sigh of relief at the same time as I lay my eyes on my father. I choke up and immediately begin to sob.

_Well, so much for staying strong._

"Bella? Oh, my…." He's at my side before I even register it, and wraps me up in his loving embrace. He smells like cinnamon and aftershave and daddy. It calms me somewhat.

We say nothing as he guides me up the front steps and into the house. Standing in the foyer, he wordlessly takes my bag from my shoulder and helps me remove my coat, setting them both on the bottom step of the stairs. I glance around, and take note that almost nothing has changed. I feel him wrap one arm around my shoulders as he guides me into the living room, and sets me down on the couch while quietly settling next to me. On the mantle over the fireplace are photographs of me from a young age all the way through college. I smile softly and finally meet his eyes. They are full of concern, love and definitely confusion.

_Of course he's confused Bella. You didn't even call him, you just showed up on his doorstep._

He takes a deep breath and releases it through his nose. With a firm grip on my hand he smiles softly at me.

"Wanna talk about it?" It's firm, but hesitant.

I don't trust my voice yet and simply shake my head, dropping my gaze to my lap and twisting my fingers together.

"How 'bout something to drink?" Still hesitantly.

I nod and avoid his eyes. He moves to the kitchen, and I can hear the tinkling of ice cubes in a glass, and the tap water running. I sigh and drop my head back on the couch, closing my eyes.

_I can do this. I _have_ to do this. Nothing will change, and now there's a…_

"Bells?" Charlie says softly, breaking my chain of thought. He offers me the ice water.

"Thanks." I say softly back, taking a sip.

"Bella…it's not that I am not extremely happy to see you, because I am, but…" he pauses and lets out a puff of air, "just tell me, did he hurt you?"

I choke on the water at that thought. _Define hurt dad._

I shake my head. "No, not like you think anyway. He'd never lay a hand on me."

This pacifies him for the moment as he sits down next to me and takes my hand again. Holding the glass to my mouth, I begin to zone out as I stare at the coffee table in front of me. I can feel his gaze and I know he must have a million questions running through his mind.

"You know, when I met your mother," he starts softly, "she was larger than life; a free spirit if you will. I used to get such a kick out of the quirky things that she would say and do. Never a dull moment with Renee." He chuckles. "She used to talk about all the places she wanted to go, and all of the things she wanted to see. She had such a spark for life and it was always ever-present in her eyes. I didn't think I could be any happier with life, the day she said she'd marry me." He let out a deep sigh and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, still holding onto my hand in his other.

_Why do men always do that when they're nervous?_

"When we found out we were having you, it was almost as if that light in her eyes went out. Now, your mother loves you, you know that, but she just wasn't meant to be tied down to this small town. We made a go of it, and for a while I thought we'd be ok. It wasn't until you were about two years old, when I really got a sense that things were bad. That was also around the same time I took over as Chief of Police."

He sighs and leans his head back against the couch. "It started out with her frustrations that we never took vacations or went anywhere aside from Port Angeles. Then it moved on to me working too much, until…well, the day she left with you was a real eye opener. It was an early Wednesday morning and I had just come home from pulling a double shift 'cause we had a few guys out on vacation…" he snorts, "Ironic huh? I remember being exhausted and couldn't wait to hit the sack. When I came through the front door and all but tripped over her suitcase, well…" he pauses squeezing his eyes closed. I tighten my grip on his hand. He lifts his head and smiles sadly at me. "Looking back on it now, I'm sure all of the signs were there, but at the time I didn't see them, or maybe I was just to blind to see them. Had I known then, what I know now…" He lets those words hang in the air.

Unable to control my emotions a moment longer, tears spill from my eyes and drip down my chin. "You talked to mom didn't you? She told you."

He nods slowly. "He doesn't know I'm here. I didn't tell him where I was going."

He moves to cup my face in his hands and stares deep into my eyes. "My point baby girl is that we all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes come with a huge cost, and sometimes we're lucky enough to get the chance to fix those mistakes. Just don't go doing something you might never be able to take back."

_You have got to be fucking joking. _

"Wait. You're taking _his _side?" I ask, pulling away from him. I'm beyond pissed.

"No. I will _always_ been team Bella. I just…I can also understand what he may be going through at the moment."

"Seriously Charlie? I can't even believe this!" I huff, standing abruptly. I clench my fists at my sides and square my shoulders.

He moves to the edge of the couch, leans on his forearms and clasps his hands between his legs. "Bella…"

"What about what I'm going through? Have you given that any thought? How I might be feeling?" I ask, crossing my arms across my chest, trying desperately to keep myself from collapsing.

_You're _my_ dad; you're supposed to be pissed at him! No matter what!_

_Selfish much, Bella?_

"Is there something you need to tell me Bella?" he asks in that authoritative, fatherly _'I'm gonna ground you to your room'_ tone of voice.

_Shit._

I gasp softly, my shoulders fall and my hands drop. "I guess I should've known she'd tell you everything." I say softly, playing with the hem of my shirt.

"Well, we both know how your mother is. But that's beside the point. I've heard it from her, but I want to hear it all from you. Now, why don't you sit back down and tell dear ol' dad why you're really here."

Seeing this side of Charlie is…dumbfounding. He's always been a 'real quick and to the point' kind of guy. Never hovers. Never says much. _Never_ been one to get into some deep, emotional conversation. In fact, I can't remember a time that he ever seemed comfortable having long drawn out discussions.

"Who are you and what have you done with my dad?" I tease, gently sitting next to him.

He blushes slightly, "Look kiddo, I just know how it was for me when your mom left and took you with her. I know things were hard on her for a while too, and I don't want those same things for my little girl. Period. So, if there is something that I can do to help, _or_ make it easier…I'll do it."

_Whoa. Seriously…body snatchers? Twilight Zone? This is nuts!_

"So…tell me. Help me understand exactly why you just spent two days in a car, leaving behind, and I quote, 'the love of your life' and showed up at my front door."

I take a deep breath and blow it out. "God, where do I even begin?" I groan and throw my head back against the couch pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes.

He lays a hand on my shoulder and I fall against his chest sobbing, fisting his flannel shirt in my hand. No words are said. He just holds me while I fall apart, lost in my painful memories.

_It's been almost three weeks since he's even touched me. Sure a kiss hello, a kiss goodbye, but that's it. Nothing. Nada. I'm beginning to wonder if I even turn him on anymore? Is there something about me he's just not attracted to anymore? I roll flat onto my back and stretch out across the bed. I can hear the shower running, so I know he's getting ready to leave. A smile plays across my lips, as I think about surprising him in there. _

_Just as I am about to open the door, I hear the water cut off. Well, nothing says a little counter sex is out of the question. I push the door open as he's stepping out of the shower, a towel wrapped low around his waist. Yum. _

"_Shit! Bella! You scared me." He jumps back in shock. _

"_Sorry babe. I was thinking I could join you. Maybe help you wash your back." I laugh quietly as I walked towards him and rub my hands up his chest._

"_Mmm…that would've been nice." He says sweetly, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. Then he pats me on the ass and abruptly steps away. _

"_But, I have an early morning meeting about the Carson case, so I need to get going." He rushes into his closet and out of sight._

_Well, ok then. I turn to my sink and take care of my morning business. After I rinse my mouth, I turn and lean back on my counter, my hands behind my back. "Do you at least have time to eat breakfast?"_

_He steps out of his closet, buttoning his shirt. "Umm…yea, sure. But just something quick, I have to be there in an hour."_

_I nod and head downstairs. I fill the coffee pot, turn it on and set the sugar up next to his mug. I grab a few of the croissants I bought yesterday at the bakery, place them under the broiler and turn it on. He likes butter and strawberry jelly on them…eww…but whatever, I smirk, taking them out of the fridge and placing them on the counter. _

_He rushes in, grabs his mug and fills it with coffee. He quickly adds the sugar then tosses the spoon hastily into the sink._

"_Babe, slow down. You have time." I say softly, placing my hand on his back as he takes a sip while looking out the kitchen window. _

_He glances at the clock on the stove and then back at me. "Walk me out?"_

"_You're not going to eat?" I ask, taking a step back from him and looking over at the clock too. _

"_Really can't. I'll just grab something at the office. I'm sure Mike will bring donuts or something."_

_I sigh and turn from him. I hit the 'stop' button on the stove and leave the kitchen._

"_Bella?"_

"_Just go to work Edward. That's where you really want to be anyway." I call bitterly over my shoulder as I turn to walk back up the stairs. _

_He rushes forward and grabs my wrist. I just shake my head at him as he turns me towards him. "I don't know when this happened, or how we got here Edward. I just…what's happening to us?" I ask softly as I feel the tears prick my eyes and back away from him. _

"_I know I've been working a lot lately, and I'm sorry. It'll be over soon."_

_I just shake my head at him and look away. _

"_This case is important –" he starts. _

"_Don't treat me like I'm a child! I know your work is important! But, don't you see? Look at us! Do you know you haven't so much as even hugged me…HUGGED me, Edward…in almost three weeks? Let alone even made love to me. Do I really repulse you that much?" I can't help sobbing now._

"_God, Bella."_

_I wrapped my arms around my waist, as the tears rained down my face. He moved forward and embraced me. It felt so good to be in his arms again, but I didn't return the hug._

"_You do _not_ repulse me. You're the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm so, _so_ sorry. Just hold on for a little bit longer, and it will all be over." He said softly into my hair._

_I just shrugged. He kissed me firmly on the lips, then on my forehead. _

"_I love you. You know that? I love you. I'll make it better ok? I promise." he asked as he bent down to look me right in the eyes. One more kiss to my forehead and he grabbed his briefcase and walked out the door. _

_I sat down hard on the stairs holding my face in my hands as I sobbed uncontrollably. _

_I guess I'll have to try and not be disappointed when he breaks his promise. Again._

"That was a year ago last month, and it only got worse from there. Before the Carson case had even ended, he was talking about the Hunter case. He's been working on that case since October. I tried, God, I tried so hard to just be there for him. Listen when he needed me to listen, stayed out of his way when he seemed to need space. I tried so many times to get him to relax; even if was just a few hours. At first it worked. He'd come to the beach with me on a Saturday morning, or breakfast at the café on a Sunday, even once or twice we drove up to see Rose and Emmett. But even all that eventually stopped, and I just stopped pushing." A tissue appears in front of my face, and I turn and smile sadly at Charlie.

"Thanks." I wipe my face, and then drop my hands to my lap, tearing on the edges. "I know you don't want to hear about me trying to seduce my boyfriend," I laugh as Charlie clears his throat, "but I can't even begin to count the times that I did try, only to either be pushed away or it went completely unnoticed."

Charlie clears his throat again, "Apparently not _every_ time." He says somewhat nervously.

"No not every time, but I am pretty sure I know exactly when it happened, seeing as though I can recall every time in the last three months." I say bitterly.

"So, what happens now Bells?"

"I don't know dad. I don't know how to live like this anymore. I can't live on broken promises; especially not now. Things used to be so different. I just wish I knew what I did wrong." I groan.

"Oh baby girl," he says with a sigh, pulling me into his arms again, "you didn't do anything wrong." He places a kiss to the top of my head.

"Life just happens. You don't always know the outcome, or the why's or how's."

I pull back and look at him in confusion. "What does that even mean?"

"Well...I know that you both love each other, that's a given. I may not be very happy with him right now, because he has hurt you, but I don't doubt that he loves you. Edward has always taken care of you and treated you right. He's a good man…I'll deny it if you ever tell him I said so." We both snicker at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"Unfortunately, or fortunately maybe, I think he's a lot like me. A man see's his job as a way to provide…you know, that whole hunt and gather gene that us males have…" he squeezes me gently as I roll my eyes at him, "but where he and I are the same, is that we let our work lead our lives, instead of _us_ leading our lives. Do you get what I am saying here?"

I nod, "Yea, I think so. Mom put it into words well, she said there has to be a balance. I've never tried to deny him the love he has for his job. If anything, I have always been very supportive. But, how many times am I supposed to tell him I want to spend time with him, and he'll promise me, and then break it? I mean, it wasn't just once or twice ya know? And now…I'm…" I choke on my words.

_Hurt. Pissed. Confused. Pissed._

A lump the size of a golf ball forms in my throat as I stare into his deep brown eyes.

"So…Grandpa Charlie huh?" he winks, his mustache covered lip twisting into a small grin. My emotions have run the gauntlet, but at those four words I burst into tears yet again.

"Oh dad!" I cry out, falling against his chest as he pulls me tight. "I wish I could put into words all the feelings I have about this. But the single largest question I keep asking myself…if he's not here for me, _just me_, how will he _ever_ be there for a…baby?" It comes out in almost a whisper.

He doesn't speak, simply holds me close as I continue to cry. After I have calmed slightly, I focus on the soothing rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

"You can't make that decision for him sweetheart. You have to let him make his own mind up about everything."

"I had to leave dad. I needed to get away. Clear my head and figure all of this out." I state somewhat firmly. "I just got to the point that every time I looked at him, instead of feeling love, I felt anger. I don't want to hate him, but being around him was just too much for me to handle when I found out. I guess you already said it…he's too blind."

I feel him nod against my head. "You know you can't keep this from him. He deserves to know."

"I plan on telling him. Like I said, I just need some time. Distance. Clarity."

"Understandable."

"Will I sound pathetic if I say I feel lost without him?"

"Bells, speaking from experience, I am willing to bet that he is one hundred percent lost without you."

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><p><strong>Chapter End Notes:<strong>

So...umm...yea... Ta-Da! lol Now you have a better understanding as to WHY she left. She's standing up for herself...even if it's breaking her heart.

Most of you were spot on, so pats on the back! lol

Ch 5 is done (just tweaking it) so maybe it will make up for how I am feeling about this chap. But let me hear it. I know, I know...it was too obvious...but it was there from "go" when I starting writing the story... :) Much love to all of you!

xoxox


	6. Chapter 5 :: Hazy

**Author's Notes:**

Really, really love you guys! xoxoxo (insert broken record here) You're reviews, thoughts and ideas are all so wonderful! It means SO much to me! LOVE YOU!

One more chap in Bella's head, and we'll dive back into Edward's.

All the usual:

**Story Blog** (chap pics, character pics, song, etc) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

* * *

><p>Not two seconds after the words leave his mouth, the phone rings from the kitchen. Every fiber of my being tenses. Charlie senses it, hugs me close and then rises to answer it. I pull my knees up, hugging them close to my chest and bury my face between them. He's given me a lot to think about, but my brain is on overload trying to process it all.<p>

I can just make out the muffled sound of Charlie's voice carrying in from the kitchen. I turn my head and rest my cheek on my knee.

"Yep…few hours….pretty torn up…not such a good idea…where?...hmm…should tell her…how long?"

I make no effort to try and decipher whom he's talking to, even if it's obvious that I am the subject. I release my knees and move from the couch. I'm drained, and all I want to do now is sleep. Sleep, sleep, and sleep some more. As I make it into the entryway, I lean down to retrieve my coat and bag from the stairs. Charlie's back is to me as he leans against the doorway of the kitchen.

I become paralyzed when he says, "Edward, now's not really the best time for you to just be showing up unannounced. Maybe give her some time to settle down and I can talk to her about calling you."

My mouth drops open. _Edward. Edward is calling here? How does he…? Alice! Dammit! I'm gonna strangle that little pixie!_

I gasp, causing him to spin and see me standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Damn" he mutters. "Uh, look, I'm gonna have to let you go. Yeah, ok…yeah, I'll tell her."

He hangs up the phone, shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at me sheepishly. I can't speak, and I can barely see as my vision blurs with tears. I suddenly feel very angry. I shake my head at him as he steps toward me and hold my hand up.

"NO! I just…just give me…I need to go lie down." I say hastily grabbing my bag and rushing upstairs to my old bedroom. It's dark out now, and I don't even bother with the lights. Nothing has changed about my room since I left it years ago, so I blindly walk to my bed, drop my stuff on the end and fall face first burying my head into the pillows.

_He cannot come here. I am not ready to see him yet. I need more time. I don't know how to tell him about the baby. What if he doesn't want it? What if he thinks I did it on purpose? What if he hates me for it? Wait. Hates me? Please. He's lucky I don't hate him. He deserves every little bit of suffering he's going through right now. It's about time he understood how I felt for once. Holy fuck! He cannot come here!_

I flop over onto my back with a groan and throw my arm over my face. I haven't given much thought to what I am going to say to him at this point. My only goal over the last few days has been to get as far away from the situation as possible. You really can't get much farther away from the east coast than Forks. Some may say I'm running away rather than facing reality, but I disagree.

My reality came as a fucking plus sign on a pee stick. _So_ many things flashed before my eyes while I waited, scared shitless for the result. We're not married. We've talked about it in the past, but nothing in the last year has even hinted that he still wants it at this point. I think there's a possibility that this pregnancy would be so much different if we were. But we're not, and everyone knows a baby isn't a reason to stay in a relationship.

Relationship. Yeah, our "relationship" is strained, and that's putting it mildly. Can you even call passing in the hallway and sharing a bed a relationship? With sex being an 'every once in a while' encounter that _I_ have to initiate? Feels more like roommates to me. I miss the passion. The desire. I miss everything about what we used to have. Everything. I fucking miss _him!_ Not who he's become, that man I can live without.

So, let's go back to the baby. Any which way I look at it, I'm on my own. If I stayed there with the way things have been going, I'm on my own. If I never go back, I'm on my own. Not much difference. Yes, I do know that he loves me, but it hasn't been enough for him to change his work habits this far. How would adding a baby to the scenario be any different? I just can't see how it will.

Everything he said in that voicemail I've heard before. As much as it pained me to hear him _finally_ cry about it, it doesn't change the fact that it's all the same lines he's said over and over and over again.

"_Please baby, please. I'll fix this." Come ON! I left for fuck's sake! You'd think he could come up with more than the same old shit! Does he really think hearing them _again _is going to make me come flying back into his arms? Hell no!_

Childish? Ok, maybe. Selfish? Yea, I'll give you that too. I deserve to be at this point. Balance. Renee said there has to be balance. We definitely don't have it. I guess she would know better than anyone. She lived it, suffocating in a small town with a child, barely ever seeing her husband. Growing up without my dad wasn't easy, but Renee did the best she could, and I spent plenty of summers here with him until I moved permanently in high school. Not that I want this child to have a broken home, but I can't bring myself to believe that the alternative of living in a home with a non-existent father can be better. It's almost _more_ painful.

_Fuck! I don't know. There is no easy way through, over or around this. It's fucked up. Plain and simple._

I sit up and take a deep, cleansing breath as I reach into the pocket of my coat to pull out my phone.

"Hey woman. You make it to your dad's ok?" Rose asks.

"Yea, I'm here." I sigh and lay back down on the bed. "I thought I would be feeling better about this by now, but I'm still as confused as ever."

_Everything keeps going round and round in my head, with no real solution in sight._

"Talk to me. Let me help you work through it." This is why I love this woman so much. She's fierce and gentle all at the same time. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for me, or I for her. She always looks at things objectively, from every angle and will never push her thoughts or feelings on me. If I had a sister, I'd want her to be Rose.

"Well, Charlie gave me some perspective tonight…" I explain to her the conversation and his theories of Edward's side.

"He made some very valid points. The problem is however, just because that may be how Edward has viewed things, doesn't mean he's going to change." She pauses. "Tell me something, if he came to you right now, swearing that he's seen the light and he really will change…would you go back?"

"See, that's what I can't answer. Sure, he can say all of those things, and he can make all of those promises, but really…how's it any different from every other time? Just because I finally got tired of hearing and left makes him mean it?"

"Because you're pregnant Bells." She states matter-of-factly.

I groan. "So! So _that's_ the only thing good enough for him to change? I'm not, but a baby is? How's that even fair?"

"It's not. But let's say for arguments sake that he's not blind to losing you anymore. That he's realized he's pushed you away, and tells you that he's come to his senses. All of this without knowing about the baby…would that make a difference to you?"

She doesn't wait for an answer. I don't have one anyway.

"You're both faced with an equally terrifying reality. Obviously I have talked to him, but I am not going to plead his case. That's his job. I know where you stand, and I get a sense of where he now stands. He knows he fucked up, how he chooses to fix that fuck up, and should you choose to forgive him, is up to you guys." She pauses again. "The reality of the situation is, there's now a baby in the picture. That changes so many things on so many levels."

"I don't think it should." I say flatly. "I know that it does, but I just don't think it should. He should want to fix things because he loves me and wants to be with _me_…not because now there's a baby and he feels obligated to."

"And you're exactly right. So, like I said when you were here, should you choose to forgive him and work this out with him, he needs to understand that it's about the two of you first. You don't have to listen to me, but I personally would wait and see what he has to say about everything _before_ you tell him you're pregnant. Only then will you know the true level of his commitment."

_She makes a very good point. I need to know he wants us because of what we've had, not because of what we've made. Seriously, how did this become my life?_

I groan again, "God, this is so fucked up."

She sighs, "Yeah. It is. I wish there was something more I could do for you. I really do."

"Where's that magic wand when you need it?" I deadpan.

"No shit, right?" She chuckles.

"He knows I'm here Rose." I sigh and close my eyes. Exhaustion is beginning to set in.

"Shit! How'd he find out? Renee?"

"No, Alice." I say flatly.

"Dammit. That little shit! Bella, you know better than to tell her anything you don't want the rest of the world to know." She scolds me.

"It wasn't intentional. It slipped." I defend.

She huffs, "Want me to drive down there and see if I can stop him from coming? Or at the very least, buy you a little more time?" Her tone is firm.

"Maybe." I chuckle. "He called here. Charlie talked to him, but I don't know what was said." I try to muffle a yawn, but she catches it.

"You need to get some sleep babe; we'll deal with it tomorrow." She softens. "Maybe I can get Em to drive down there with me or something."

"Yeah, ok."

After we hang up, I grab my pajamas and toiletries from my bag and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and take a good long look at myself in the mirror. I'm proud of myself for finally putting me first, but I fucking _hate_ how much it hurts to do so. I step into the warm spray, and let my tired body relax. After more than two days in the car, only stopping for gas, food and quick catnaps, my body hurts. Then add in all the emotional bullshit and I just want to forget about everything for a while. _Much easier said than done. _

_How will I feel if he shows up here, begging for me to take him back? Obviously, the gesture is more than he's done in the past, but is it enough? I can't just fall willingly into his arms and forgive him, only to go back to the exact same way things were. Something has to give. I don't trust him. _

_Shit._

_There is it. I have completely lost all trust in him. I don't trust him to keep his promises. I don't trust him to make a change. How can I trust him to be the man and father that he needs to be? Fuck my life._

I step out of the shower, dry off and get dressed. I step into the hallway to find Charlie leaning on the wall outside my bedroom door. He looks me in the eye, and I can see the pain that this is causing him too.

"I just wanted to make sure you're doing all right." He says softly.

The look I give him is incredulous, as I walk past him into my room. _Really Charlie? Do I look all right?_

"Ok, bad choice of words." He smirks as he turns to lean on the doorframe, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Ya think?" _Shit. I'm not mad at him, but I can't help the venom in the tone of my voice._ I drop my dirty clothes onto the floor by my bed; pull the covers back and sit down, pulling my hair into a ponytail.

"For what it's worth, he said to tell you he loves you and he's going to fight for you."

I can't help the snort that leaves me. Charlie's face falls, and I can tell my attitude is hurting him. "I'm sorry dad; I don't mean to take it out on you. I'm just tired of talking about it, and thinking about it. I just want to go to sleep and forget about everything for a while." I turn my gaze out the window beside my bed. I can see the drizzle of rain in the glow of the street lamp.

He nods and then softly speaks again, "I should probably also warn you…" my head snaps back to him, my eyes wide. _No, don't say it. God, please don't say it._ "That he's on his way here." _Fuck!_

I fall back against the headboard and cover my face with my hands. _Dammit!_

"Umm…he was in laid over in Atlanta when he called." He's trying to prepare me, but shit I don't want Edward to be here.

I nod my head then pull my hands away from my face, and just stare at Charlie. I don't even know what to say right now, and there's nothing he can say to make it better either.

"Well, I'll let you get some sleep." He says as he pushes away from the doorframe. He walks to me, kisses the top of my head then turns and leaves the room. I slide down the bed and huddle under the covers, pulling them up to my chin. The clock on my bedside table reads almost eight, so I figure he's either still in Atlanta or in the air on his way into Seattle. That's a good three-hour flight, then depending on if he goes through Olympia or Bremerton from Seattle, it's at least another four hours. So, at best I have seven hours, give or take. I sigh and close my eyes.

As much as I want to sleep, I also have it in mind to head to La Push and hide out at Jake and Leah's. He'd never find me there, and I would still have time to sort this all out in my head. _As well as my heart. _

My mind wanders back to the same scene it's been playing over and over for the last few days. It's like an old grainy black and white television that flashes the heartbreaking image of pain and shock on his face, just before I turned away and left. The sound, God the sound of his strangled, screaming sob as I raced away from the door, fighting my own breakdown and into the pouring rain. As bad as it hurt, I had to leave.

A bright flash outside the window followed by a loud crack of thunder jerks me straight up. My hearts hammering in my chest, my breathing labored as I look out the window into the darkness. At almost the same time, there's an incessant pounding at the front door. I turn my head to look at the clock, and it's already five in the morning. Not even realizing I fell asleep, I rub my face in my hands. The pounding starts again, and I go rigid. _Shit. That's probably Edward._

I hesitate until another crack of thunder spurs me into motion. I throw the covers back sliding out of bed. _I guess it's now or never._

The cold of the hardwood floor sends shivers across my skin, and I hug my arms close as I walk out of my room to the top of the stairs. The sound of the rain on the roof drowns out the erratic sound of my heart, but the pounding at the door continues. Slowly, I move down the steps and to the front of the door. The house is pitch black. Aside from the faint glow of the street lamp and the occasional lightning bolt, there is nothing but blackness outside as well.

I take a deep shuttering breath and pull the front door open. Nothing. No one. _What the fuck?_ The rain has apparently stopped, but I can still smell it hanging in the air. No other cars aside from Charlie's and mine are in the drive or on the street. Confused, I step out onto the front porch and look around. Still nothing seems out of the ordinary. _I swear someone was beating on the door. Right?_

I turn back towards the front door, only it's gone. Replaced by the front door of our home in Wrightsville Beach. _I'm fucking losing my mind._ I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to clear my crazy thoughts. That's when I hear the strangled screams. My eyes flash open, and I am suddenly standing in our living room. Edward is hunched over, hands in his hair grabbing at the roots. Blood…oh my God, there's so much blood. It's everywhere. I cover my mouth to muffle a scream and his eyes flash to mine. Only, they're not the emerald green they've always been. They're a freaky golden color. There's blood on his hands and pooled around his knees.

"What did you do Bella?" he growls at me. "What the _FUCK_ did you do?"

I shake my head, my eyes widen in fear as tears begin to stream down my face. _Oh my God, what is happening?_

"Say something! Why did you do this? Is this my punishment?" he screams at me. "SPEAK god dammit! Say something! How could you do this?"

I shake in fear and confusion. I feel a warm sensation on my legs and look down. Blood. More blood everywhere. It's running down my legs, pooling at my feet. The bitter, coppery smell makes my head spin. I look back to Edward as he rises to his feet and moves to stand mere inches from my face.

"I can't believe you did this. You make me fucking SICK!" he spats at me.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Trembling. He grabs tightly onto my shoulders and begins to shake me.

"Bella…Bella, please!" he says, the hate still evident in his voice.

"No, God NO!" I scream.

"BELLA! WAKE UP!" My eyes flash open and are met with a fearful Charlie hovering over me.

"Jesus Bells, you scared me half to death." He sighs. "It was just a dream baby. You're ok."

My breathing is heavy and my heart is damn near ready to jump ship. _What in the hell was THAT?_

I press my hands to my face and roll to my side. My stomach lurches and I force Charlie out of my way and scramble to the bathroom, just barely making it in time to purge my stomach. When the heaving stops, I feel Charlie press a cool towel to the back of my neck. I rest my head on my arm at the edge of the toilet.

"I don't know what that was." I whisper.

"It was just a nightmare baby, it wasn't real." He says softly while rubbing soothing circles on my back. "Now come, let's get you back to bed."

He helps me stand, and I rinse my mouth. As I look in the mirror, I have dark circles under my eyes, my skin in paler that normal and my hair looks like it lost a catfight. _Jesus. _

Just as soon as I am tucked back into bed, there is a pounding at the door. My eyes go wide and my blood runs cold.

_Oh shit._

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

I know what you're thinking...you're sitting there going WTF was THAT? It's ok...I did it too...my fingers just kept writing and then I was like...huh? BUT, then I said...OOOOHHH! I have a GOOOOOD idea where this can go, or maybe like this...or...so yeah, let's leave it! lol Yea, I'm kinda weird like that, it's ok. My beta says so! )

So let's hear whatcha think! Bella's still working it out in her head...slowly, but she's getting there. Give her some credit...it's only been a few days since she found out and left, not a huge amount of time to process the hurt, the confusion and the scared. Thanks loves!

xoxox


	7. Chapter 6 :: Fight or Flight

**A/N:**

Sorry, this chap took a little longer than planned. Edward was being stubborn (surprise, surprise). Bowing down to your reviews! Once again, I am blown away! Lots of love! xoxox

Some of you totally get Bella's reasoning, and some of you hate her for it. :) Let's check in with Edward shall we?

I'm a little confused on replying to reviews here, so if I have missed responding to you, PLEASE let me know! I try and respond to every review, b/c well...without you reading & reviewing, I'd never know how much you love/hate the story! xoxo

All the usual:

**Story Blog** (chap pics, character pics, song, etc) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It takes me less than two hours to get home, throw some shit in a bag and haul ass to the airport. I was able to get a seat on the next flight to Seattle that left at five, with thankfully only one layover. I'm going. I don't care that Alice spent the last twenty minutes of our phone call begging me not to go. I'm going. I have to talk to her. She needs to know that I understand now. I get it. I hurt her and couldn't see past the end of my face to realize how deep her pain went. I was too stubborn. I won't be anymore.

I didn't even hesitate to grab the entire stack of files for the Hunter case on my way out the door. I threw my notes, the reports, everything into a folder and dropped it on Mike's desk on the way to the airport. To say the look on his face was one of shock would be an understatement. "Take over," I had told him firmly. "I have to leave, and I don't know when I'll be back. Make sure that son of a bitch gets what he deserves." After he picked his chin up off the floor, he nodded at me, and I was back on the road to the airport.

As soon as I step off the plane in Atlanta, I pull out my cell phone and call Charlie's house. Had I been thinking more clearly a few hours ago, I would have called before I left, but I wasn't. I was desperate.

He picks up by the third ring.

"Charlie. It's Edward," I utter breathlessly.

"Yep," he responds quietly. He doesn't seem angry with me. That's a good sign.

"Please tell me Bella's there," I desperately demand.

"She's been here a few hours," he says with almost no emotion.

_Thank God!_

"How is she?" I ask as I find a seat in the terminal.

"Well, she's pretty torn up."

"I'm on my way. I need to see her."

"That's probably not such a good idea," he responds dryly.

"I know I hurt her, but I need her to understand that I'm sorry, and I want to fix this." I lean forward on my elbows and pinch the bridge of my nose. "I'm already half way there. I'm laid over right now."

"Where?" he questions.

"Atlanta."

"Hmm," he responds, and I feel like he's going to make seeing her difficult.

_At least I know for sure where she is now._

"I should tell her you're coming."

"Charlie? Please don't let her leave," I beg.

"How long until you get to Seattle?"

"I should be on the road by midnight. I know this is asking a lot of you, but maybe you could just not tell her I'm coming? I'm scared she'll run again."

"Edward, now's not really the best time for you to just show up unannounced. Maybe give her some time to settle down and I can talk to her about calling you."

I let out a heavy sigh. "I just–"

"Damn," he interrupts. "Uh, look, I'm going to have to let you go."

I can only guess that she's figured out it's me on the phone.

"Please tell her I love her."

"Yeah, okay."

"Tell her I'll fight for her. Can you tell her that? Please, Charlie?" I choke out.

"Yeah, I'll tell her."

The phone goes silent. I fall back against the chair and let out an exasperated sigh. How am I going to make her believe in me? I know her. If she felt that things were bad enough to leave, then she'll never believe a word I say when I tell her I'll change. That I have already changed. It's going to take every ounce of fight I have in me, but I'll fight for her. I'll fight for _us._

xxx

Due to the weather in Seattle, my flight is an hour late in landing. If I wasn't already on edge, that just made it worse. I'm finally in my rental car and on the road to Forks by one AM. My body is still on East coast time, and I can feel the exhaustion setting in. What's left of my adrenaline is all that's keeping me going.

Since it's ten AM in Paris, I stick my Bluetooth in my ear and call Alice.

"Please tell me you didn't get on that plane, Edward?"

"I'm driving to Forks right now."

She sighs. "You're so stubborn."

I don't respond immediately. At the moment, I don't feel stubborn. I feel desperate.

"You think she'll talk to me?"

She sighs again. "I really don't know what's going to happen. I'd like to think she will, but I also know that she wanted space. For crying out loud, she _drove_ to Forks for it! I'm not saying that I agree with her decision to leave, but I think in her mind, she thought it was the right one."

"I know." I sigh and press my head back into the headrest. "What have I done?"

"We all make mistakes, but your biggest one is that you lost sight of what's _really _important in your life."

"I realize that now."

"Can I ask you something?" she quietly asks.

"Mmhmm."

"What's your plan? I mean, surely you're not expecting her to just fall into your arms and all is forgiven, right?"

I huff. "No, I don't expect that to happen." I pause before continuing, "I can't say that I really even have a plan. My whole thought process has just been to find her. I don't know what I'll say, honestly."

"Well, more importantly, you need to hear her out. You need to let her get all the hurt and anger out. You can't be an ass about it either."

"I know."

"No, I mean it. I know how you are, Edward. You get defensive, and you can't do that this time. I know you're hurting, but you need to let her lay everything out there and just take it. She's hurting, and she's confused, and she's scared."

"I get the hurt and confused part. But, what is she scared of, Alice? I love her. I realize now that my priorities have been fucked up, but I won't let that happen again. She's too important to me."

"She's–" She stops and I hear her let out a deep breath. "Look, if you've finally come to realize that, then you need to try and make certain Bella understands. It's not going to be easy, Edward. From what she has told me, you've made all these promises before. Why should she believe you now?"

"I'll make her."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"Fuck! I don't know, okay? I just know what's in my head, and in my heart," I shout as I slam my palm against the steering wheel.

"I'm not trying to upset you. I just want you to have some sort of grasp on what you're going to do. I told you not to go, but you didn't listen. So now I am trying to help you figure out what you're going to do next," she says calmly.

_Very unlike Alice._

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. I'm pissed off at myself for not taking her seriously. I just didn't believe that she would ever really walk out." My grip on the steering wheel tightens, right along with the pain in my chest.

_God, I believe her now!_

"When I look back on it now, I see it. I see all the times she cried and begged me to slow down or make a change. I see all the times she tried to love me, and I turned her away. Fuck! I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot. Well, yeah, maybe," she teases.

"Thanks a lot." My tone expressionless.

"That's what little sisters are for," she singsongs. "Just be patient and listen. I think that's what she really needs right now, for you to _really _hear her."

_Obviously I haven't done much of that. _

xxx

It's closing in on five AM when I pass the "The City of Forks Welcomes You" sign on the south side of town. Driving in from the south it's hard to even recognize that you're in Forks, until you pass that sign. Large aluminum buildings flank the highway to the left, which are the hangars for Forks airport. If you can even call it that, it's so small. One strip of runway that's _maybe_ a mile long.

As I pass further into town, memories of our time spent here flood my mind. She spent her last years of high school here, while my parents moved to this podunk town after Alice and I were already in college. I never understood the draw that they had to this place; however, on a few trips that Bella and I have made here, she showed me all the little things about this place that she loved. On a summer trip just a few years ago, she brought me to the Bogachiel River.

_"Bella, is all of this really necessary?" I asked as she piled the third blanket into my arms. _

_"Yes. No complaints out of you, mister. Go put those in the trunk while I finish getting lunch ready," she ordered and then spun on her heels and practically bounced into the kitchen. _

_We had only been in Forks for three days, and it was beginning to wear on me. We were going back and forth, and in and out of all the little places she wanted to show me of her "home". It was almost daunting. For a small town, one would think there wasn't much to do, but it seemed as though Bella figured out real quick how to entertain herself here. Today, we were heading out to, what she called, her favorite spot on the river. I was mainly hoping that meant some "chill time"._

_I loaded the blankets into the trunk, which already held towels; a bag that contained sunscreen, insect repellant, a whistle, bottled water, toilet paper and baby powder; along with an extra change of clothes and shoes for the both of us. I couldn't comprehend what the heck some of this was for, but she packed it, so it must be necessary. As I was arranging said items to fit, Bella shimmied up beside me with a large picnic basket and a shit-eating grin. _

_"What is that look for?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her. _

_"Nothing. I just really think you're going to love this," she said with a smile. Her face was radiating excitement, and I couldn't help but absorb it from her. _

_"Well, I love you. So, anything we do together I'll love." I kissed her cheek, and loaded the basket. "Should we pack the kitchen sink, too?" I mocked her while scratching the top of my head. _

_"Har har," she deadpanned. "Let's go!"_

_We headed out of Forks and onto La Push Road. She was practically bouncing with excitement and I couldn't help the feeling of anticipation right along with her. It was technically going to be the first time, since we got here, that we'd be spending it alone; and damned if I haven't missed her. I reached across the center of the car and threaded her fingers through mine. She glanced up at me with a small smile and squeezed my hand softly, then turned and focused back on where we were headed. _

_"There it is," she said, pointing to….nothing. There was nothing but trees. I slowed the car slightly, while trying to decipher what she was pointing at._

_"Umm, there's what?" I questioned. Clearly, I was missing something._

_"Right there. See that red tape, on that log, on the left? Right there," she said again gesturing still at nothing. I was blindly searching for the allusive "red tape on a log" when she screeched, "Stop!"_

_Fuck! I gasped, slammed my foot on the break and looked at her, watching the blush rise in her face as she bit her lip._

_"Sorry. You almost passed it," she said sheepishly, her cheeks darkening._

_I turned my head, and sure as shit, there was the log. I chuckled and shook my head at her. "Now what?" I asked her, grinning at her sudden adorable shyness. _

_"Turn next to it, and then follow the trail to the dead end where we park the car."_

_I did as I was told–obviously flying blind at this point–and parked the car between two trees at the end of the trail. _

_"Okay, now we walk," she said, her excitement back as she hopped out of the car and went around to the trunk. _

_We gathered all the piles of crap she felt were necessary to bring. Of course, I was stuck with the blankets and towels, while she hung the bag over her shoulder and looped her arm through the handles of the basket. _

_Fun, Edward. This is supposed to be fun._

_It wasn't more than fifty yards before we reached a clearing. The sun was shining bright today–which I was told is a rare occurrence–and sparkled off the surface of the river. It wasn't a fast flowing river, but it wasn't a trickle either. It was calm and peaceful. _

_Okay, so maybe this isn't so bad after all. _

_Bella dropped her items and graciously removed a blanket from my arms, spreading it out on the sandy bank. I dropped the towels and other blankets off to the side and walked closer to the edge of the water. The spot that she brought us to was an obvious bend in the river. I watched as the water flowed toward us on the left and then away from us on the right. It was, maybe, only thirty feet across to the other side from this spot. The trees were tall and green against the bright blue sky. The only sound to be heard was the flow of the water._

_I felt her presence before I heard her speak. _

_"You're standing on river sediment. When the water turns the corner here, sand and rocks don't; so they have built up this little beach. Dad loves to fish for steelhead in this river," she said softly as she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind me. _

_"It's gorgeous," was all I could manage in a half-whisper. Everything about this spot was breath taking, including her. _

_I turned in her embrace, gripping her face in my hands. I gently placed my lips to hers and then pulled back. "Thank you for bringing me here. It really is beautiful."_

_She stood up on her toes and pressed her lips to mine again, pulling me closer from the waist. I turned my head to deepen the kiss, and felt her little tongue swipe across my bottom lip. Granting her entrance to my mouth elicited a small moan from her. That sound alone was my undoing. _

_I swiftly reached down and pulled her thighs up, wrapping her legs around my waist, my hands palming her tight little ass. She threaded her fingers into my hair, lightly scratching my scalp with her nails that sent shivers straight down my back. I pulled back, breaking the kiss; and she planted her lips on my neck, nipping and sucking along my jugular. _

_"Shit, Bella. What are you trying to do to me?" It was rhetorical. I wasn't expecting an answer, but I was rewarded with a small giggle. I walked us back to the blanket and knelt down, gently laying her before me. Her hair fanned out around her head, and her eyes were hooded with lust. _

_"Take me here, Edward," she said softly. Her words were full of desire and shot through me like fire. _

_I trailed my hands softly up her silky, pale legs; not taking my eyes off hers. I flicked the button on her barely-there denim shorts and swiftly pulled the zipper down. As she shimmied them off, I ran one under her top across her stomach, leaning over her on one arm. Reveling in the feel of her soft skin, I feathered my hand across her ribs. I could feel her breathing escalate as I slid a finger under the wire of her bra. _

_"Jesus, Edward…stop teasing me," she groaned and squirmed. Realizing she was sans shorts and panties, I pulled my hand up and squeezed her breast gently, crashing my lips to hers. I felt her fumble with my shorts for a moment, and then her tiny hand wrapped around my raging hard on as our tongues fought for dominance._

_I had to force myself not to rock my hips into her hand as she pumped down and then back up, swirling her thumb across the tip. I felt her feet at my hips, and then she pushed my shorts and boxers off, springing me free. _

_I dropped to my elbow and looked deep into her eyes as she ran her free hand across my face to the back of my neck. Aligning myself at her slick center, I pressed only the tip inside, sliding a hand down between us and rolling my fingers across her swollen clit. She squirmed under me, her eyes locked with mine, seeking more. I bent down and licked a trail from her shoulder to her ear. As I sucked gently on her lobe, she shifted again, almost begging me to move. _

_"Edward…I…need you….please…" she moaned and arched her back. I loved watching her come undone like this. Knowing it was me that was doing it. Only me. _

_"I love you, Bella," I cried out against her shoulder, as I hitched her leg over my hip and pressed fully into her. _

_Fuck! Even back then I was being an asshole! _

Thunder and lightning dance across the heavens above, as the storm moves further and further away. I realize I am finally parked in front of Charlie's house; and dawn is just beginning to break over the tops of the trees.

_It's now or never. _

I bolt from the car, my heart pounding and my breath almost in gasps. The air is thick and heavy from the recent rain, making the simple task more difficult. As I make it up the front steps, I freeze just as I am about to raise my fist to the door. A sudden feeling a dread washes over me, creeping around my body like a tide encroaching on the sand. The unforeseen feeling sends chills across my skin and the air is sucked out of my lungs. I rest back against the side of the porch, clenching my fists and squeezing my eyes shut as I try to calm myself. I force slow, steady breaths to fight off the blackness that is threatening to take over.

A sudden blood-curdling scream comes from somewhere inside the house. The gut wrenching sound causes every hair on the back of my neck to rise and literally brings me to my knees.

_Bella!_

With every ounce of will I have left, I leap to my feet and ruthlessly pound on the door.

"Bella!"

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

Well? I know, I know...I'm not a fan of playing the same scene over from a different POV, it actually frustrates the hell outta me...BUT for this part it was necessary.

Next chap, face to face...eeks! Whatcha thinks gonna happen? Think Charlie'll shoot him? LOL Any suggestions on a "grand gesture" for Edward? I have some ideas in place, but I'd love to hear your thoughts! I ALWAYS respond to your reviews! Don't be shy! :)


	8. Chapter 7 :: Plead

**A/N: **

I hope & pray that any of you who had to deal with Hurricane Irene this weekend are doing well. Born and raised on the Gulf Coast, I know all too well how scary, annoying and dangerous they are. (((HUGS)))

OK, you ready? The mannerisms of both of them in this chapter, are 99.9% **exactly** like a RL situation I may know just a little bit about...some of the dialogue as well...just a line or two.

Enjoy! :)

All the usual:

**Story Blog** (chap pics, character pics, song, etc) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 – Plead<strong>

The screaming stops as I continue to pound on the door. I pause, and hear no movement coming from inside. It's eerily quiet. I reach down and to try turning the door handle, but it's locked.

_Of course, as if the Chief of Police would leave his door unlocked. _

I knock again and again until I finally hear footsteps from inside. They move across the hardwood floors, and I focus on them coming closer to the door. The heaviness of them tells me that it's Charlie, not Bella. The door swings open, and I am greeted with a scowl.

"Really, boy? Is all that noise necessary this early in the morning?" he scolds. I take a small step back, dropping my head in shame, and shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

"I'm sorry, but I heard her—" I swallow hard and squeeze my eyes closed at the memory of her terrifying scream. "Is she okay?" I lift my head slightly to look into his eyes.

He blows out a breath and shakes his head dismissively. "It was just a nightmare."

It doesn't escape my notice that he hasn't asked me in. "Can…can I see her? Please?"

A war of emotions plays across his face. His eyes are hard, but a flash of sorrow breeches them before the determination reappears. I stand motionless as I watch him battle the internal war with himself. A war between the man that is her father, who wants to protect her, and the man that understands me. It's abruptly brought to a halt when a sound comes from the top of the stairs.

_Bella._

The moment seems to happen in almost slow motion as I glance up into the darkness, and her eyes lock with mine. She stands hidden in the shadows of the house; only her face can be seen. She slowly descends a few steps and then stops. A fissure slices its way through my chest at the sight of her. Dark circles have appeared under her eyes, which are swollen and blood shot. She's paler than just a few days ago, and her hair is twisted up in a mess that's secured atop her head. Her navy blue flannel pajama pants hang loose on her hips, paired with a white lace-trimmed tank top. While nothing about how she looks in this moment should make me think so, I can't help but drink in her beauty.

Her chocolate eyes offer a hint of sadness and love, before a mask clouds it all, and her face becomes void of any emotion whatsoever. Her arms hang to her sides as she clenches and unclenches her fists.

"Dad," she says softly, not breaking the hold of our eyes. Her voice is so broken that it makes my heart clench.

He turns his head slowly and only then do her eyes leave mine. I watch as they come to a silent understanding, and he steps aside gesturing me in. I force my legs to move; as I step inside, away from the door, my eyes are still locked on her.

"I'll just, uh…leave you two alone," Charlie states somberly before closing the door and walking towards her on the stairs. As he moves to pass her, he lightly grazes his knuckles down the side of her arm, and they both nod at each other. He turns and nods back at me, then trudges the rest of the way up the stairs and out of sight.

Both of us are rooted where we stand, and I begin to question my decision on coming here. However, seeing her in the flesh fills my soul with an unimaginable longing. Using every amount of restraint I can muster, I force myself not to rush to her side and gather her delicate body into my embrace. She takes a deep breath, and wraps her arms around herself before moving down the stairs closer to me.

As her bare feet reach the last step, we are at eye level with one another. Like a magnet, I cannot fight the pull she has on me, and I tentatively step closer to her, leaving mere inches between our bodies. Our eyes dance back and forth with each other's. She reaches one hand up and lazily drags the backs of her knuckles across the thick stubble on my jaw. I close my eyes and breathe deeply through my nose, relishing in the sensation of her touch, and the power of her scent.

_I love you so much._

All too soon, she removes her hand, and I snap my eyes open to meet hers once again. I catch the brief shadow of pain etched into her face and swimming in her eyes. Seeing just that glimpse, causes tears to sting in mine. As they roll down my cheeks, I watch helplessly as she puts the mask back in place, wraps her arms around herself again, and shuts me out.

I exhale heavily. "Bella," I begin, but she shakes her head, forcing me to stop. She moves delicately to my side, off the last step and towards the living room. I take it as a silent invitation and follow behind her. Slowly, she rests on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She lays her cheek on her knees and closes her eyes. I stand motionless at the end of it; my hands are itching to hold her.

The tension in the air begins to choke me, and I don't know whether to let her speak first, or if I should fall on my knees where I stand and begin begging. Thoughts of the last few days plague my mind and it leaves me feeling more than unsettled.

"Why are you here?" she asks. Her voice is melancholy, gripping my heart tighter.

"I had to find you," I softly reply, silently willing her to open her eyes and look at me.

An exaggerated sigh leaves her chest. "I told you not to follow me." She lifts her head and lays her forehead against her knees, effectively stealing the view of her face away from me.

"I know you did, but…I'm stubborn. I have to fix this," I mumble.

Silence encompasses us as I focus on the idle rise and fall of her back as she breathes. She finally turns her head to face me, opening her eyes. We study each other shortly, and it feels like she's searching my soul. She closes her eyes, lets out a deep breath and then opens them again before she speaks. "How can you be so sure that there is anything left to fix?"

Her words paralyze me for a split second before I rush to her. I drop to my knees in front of her, forcing her legs down and apart as I rest between them. I grab her hands in mine as I feel tears begin to drip off my chin. She looks down at my bandaged hand in confusion, before looking back into my eyes.

"Baby, please, you can't possibly mean that," I beg, searching her eyes. She falls back against the couch while our eyes remain transfixed. "I love you, and I have to believe that you still love me enough to let me try."

Her brow furrows slightly. "Try what, Edward? Because God only knows how many times I have tried." Her tone is icy, yet full of pain and sorrow.

_Fuck. I did this to her._

I drop my chin to my chest while I squeeze her hands in mine. My heart is slamming against my ribcage.

"I do. God help me, I do love you," she chokes. "That's what makes everything so much harder."

I snap my head up in time to see streaks of wetness on her cheeks. I reluctantly release a hand, moving it to cup her face and swipe away the wetness with my thumb.

"Please. Please, Bella…I _can't_ lose you." My voice is strangled as I fight the heartbreak that's choking me.

"What makes this time any different? Is it because I left? Your perfect little world isn't so perfect anymore? Your image is now tainted, so you rushed here to fix it?" she hisses, angrily wiping the tears from her face.

_Whoa! What the fuck?_

My mouth falls open, and my eyes narrow as her words sink in. I fall back on my heels, releasing our hands as the shock registers through me.

I can't fight the anger as it bubbles to the surface. "Is that what you think? Fuck! Are you kidding me right now?"

I hastily move to my feet and take a step back from her; my hands find purchase in my hair as I tug at the roots. Her eyes widen slightly at my sudden movement, before she crosses her arms defensively over her chest and looks away. I feel my body start to tremble.

_How could she possibly think that's why I'm here?_

She huffs. "Edward, you've proven time and again how important your job is, how could I _not_ think that?"

"Fuck, Bella! Yeah, my job is important to me! Yeah, I give a shit about my image, _as a lawyer!_ But none of that means a fucking _thing_ to me without _you!_" I turn away from her and stalk to the mantle, resting my palms against it and dropping my head.

_I need to calm the fuck down. Getting angry is not going to help any of this._

"Yeah, well, you've done a superb job at proving that, haven't you? How exactly do you expect me to act right now? You fucking waltz in here, professing you're love for me, only _after_ I have left? Really? I tried–God, I tried _so_ _many times_ to get you to listen to me, but all I got in return was empty promises." I turn slowly to face her, catching her staring at me, but she looks away again. "So, forgive me for not instantly falling into your arms and overlooking it all."

I make a concerted effort to steady myself with a few deep breaths. I focus on trying to keep my voice calm. "Bella, you're everything to me. _Everything._ I know I've failed at showing you that recently, and for that I am truly sorry. I know that I have a lot to make up for, which is why when I found out you were here, I got on the first goddamn flight."

I take hesitant steps toward her, watching tear after tear roll down her face. She has yet to look back at me. "I can only hope it makes you understand how much I love you. You own my heart, Bella, and as much as I wish I could, I can't _make_ you forgive me." My voice is surprisingly steady as I swallow hard at the brief thought that she won't. "I can only try with all that I am, to prove it to you."

I'm standing over her now, as she closes her eyes and lets out a breath through her nose. When she finally looks up at me, the mask she was hiding behind is gone, and all her pain is evident. Any anger I am feeling completely evaporates, and I am once again overcome with heartache.

"The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you," I whisper, as I drop back to my knees in front of her. Her brow furrows again as she reaches her hand out and cups my jaw, her thumb strokes my cheek.

"Can you forgive me? I hope you can, because I honestly don't know how to live without you."

She drops her hand to her lap. "I wish it was only that easy."

_Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

I let my head fall to her lap, feeling utterly fucking defeated. I feel her fingers gingerly run through my hair. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so, _so_ sorry." There's no fighting the tidal wave of tears, and my shoulders shake as I sob against her. I wrap my arms behind her hips and clutch her with desperation. I've never felt more shattered than I do in this very moment.

_This is it. She's done. _

With every stroke of her hand, I feel the despair seep in further. "Tell me what to do, please. I'll do anything," I beg, muffled against her legs. "Please."

_God, please! I want to fix this so bad. I want to do right by her. _

I can feel her body trembling, yet I can't find the strength to raise my head or release my grasp. I internally berate myself for allowing my emotions to take this much control over me. Seconds, hours, hell _days_ could be passing by as I struggle to rein them in, all the while her fingers carry on their dance against my scalp.

As I begin to feel some sense of control, I lift my head and meet her eyes. She too has been crying again, and I hate myself a little more for it.

_Time to grovel, Cullen. She needs to understand the lengths you will go to, to do right by her._

"My priorities have been fucked," I say with a weak and scratchy voice. I sniffle, feeling pathetic as I do it. "I understand that now. I wish I could go back to all of those times when you tried to tell me. I really do, but I can't, and I am _so_ sorry for not listening."

"I know it's never gotten this out of hand before, but I just feel like–like it's only a more desperate song and dance," she says as she takes in and blows out a deep breath. "How do I know that you'll hold true to your words _this time?_ I just don't have the strength to keep going on like this anymore, Edward."

I whimper slightly. "I never, _ever_ meant to make you feel this way. I should have shown you all along the depth of my love, instead of giving you reasons to doubt it."

I pull my hands from her hips and take hold of hers once again. "If I have to spend the rest of my life making this up to you, I promise you, I will, Bella. My life holds no meaning without you in it." I bring our clasped hands to my lips, pressing tightly to them. "I want to spend forever with you. You're _it_ for me. _You._"

Her eyes lock with mine while her breathing escalates minutely. It feels like an eternity passes as I watch the waves of emotions roll through them.

"Please, tell me how to fix this. How can I prove it to you?"

"I don't know, Edward," she sobs. Her eyes close, forcing more tears over the brim. I grip her hands as if my life depends on it.

_It essentially does. Letting go just isn't a fucking option. A sudden thought ricochets through my mind._

"I gave Mike the Hunter case," I blurt out in a rush.

Her eyes snap to mine; her brow furrows again as she's seemingly searching for the truth in my words.

"What?" Her face is full of confusion and…wonder? "You—what? Why?"

"Aren't you listening to me? I didn't even think twice about it." I internally fist pump, realizing that's what she needed to hear. _Duh._

"I did it for you, Bella. For us." I kiss our joined hands firmly.

"But, Edw–" she starts, but I interrupt her.

"Nothing, Bella. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I promise you, with every fiber of my being, I will spend forever proving that to you if I have to. I love you." I rise up on my knees bringing our faces closer. I want so badly to kiss her, to seal the promise, but I hesitate. Her dismal brown eyes draw me in, and I want so badly to refill them with love.

"There's more. There's so much more that I need to tell you, Edward. I don't know if you'll even want to keep that promise when I do," she whispers as she drops her gaze to our hands.

Tears begin to fall from her eyes again, and I stretch forward to catch them with my lips. The sweetness of her skin combines with their saltiness, and we collectively sigh. I pull her hands up to my neck and release my grasp, slowly skimming my fingertips up her arms. Her skin prickles, and I softly smile against her cheek as my tears mix with her own. I wrap my arms behind her shoulders, pulling her tightly against me.

_Forgive me, Bella. Please, say you forgive me._

I begin to trail feather-light kisses along the bottom of her jaw and across her chin to the other side of her face. I work my way up to her temple, laying my lips first on one eyelid and then across to the other, before skimming my nose down the side of hers. My lips brush against hers as light as a whisper while I circle the tips of our noses together.

_Please, forgive me. I love you so much._

"Edward," she breathes as her fingers weave their way into my hair.

I press my lips softly to the corner of her mouth, our tears combining once more. Her hands run from my neck, down to my chest, and then back up again as I ghost my lips across hers, kissing the opposite corner of her mouth.

_Say it. Say you forgive me._

"Edward," she says, still breathless.

My hands roam down her back, and I slide them up under her shirt. The feel of her skin against my fingertips causes me to choke back a sob; her head falls back against the couch, and I skim my lips under her jaw. Another thought crosses my mind and leaves my lips without hesitation.

"Marry me, Bella," I whisper against her neck.

_Please._

Her body goes rigid, and she pushes firmly on my chest. I move back to within inches of her face, and stare deeply into her chocolate orbs.

"Wha–?"

"Marry me," I say again a little louder and with more determination. I'm praying she can hear the sincerity of my words as I offer her a small, crooked grin.

"Edward," she pauses, a look of panic flashes across her features.

"I'm pregnant."

**End Notes:**

Wait...wait...wait...now come on! You would have sent me to the gas chamber if Bella would have reacted any other way OR not told him, and you know it! lol OK, don't hurt me...but you would've...right? ;)

I snuck a few _New Moon_ quotes in there for ya too, did ya catch them? ;)

Next 2 chaps are done...so you should have them very soon!

xoxoxo


	9. Chapter 8 :: Space

**A/N: **

Freakin'-A! Your response to the last chapter was SO much better than I anticipated! So, yeah, I need to get over myself...you're either going to love it or hate it...either way, I am having fun with it! XOXOXOX Please forgive me if you're not getting responses to your reviews...I think I am doing something wrong, b/c I TRY...but idk...just know that I read each and every one of them, and you make me smile!

For those of you that are "pimpin' me out"...DAMN I LOVE YOU! Every time I hear from a new reader that this story was rec'd to them, I do a little happy dance! lol So awesome!

OK, ready for Edward's reaction? It kinda caught me off guard...but we had a talk, and I think he's OK now. ;) Let's see.

All the usual:

**Story Blog** (chap pics, character pics, song, etc) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

* * *

><p>I'm not exactly sure why those two words cause such an adverse reaction from me. They do though, and before I can prevent it, the damage is done. My entire being seizes, and then almost instantaneously, I begin to tremble uncontrollably. I hear nothing but the sound of my blood pulsing in my veins. Subconsciously, I've always known the truth, but with the reality of losing Bella at the forefront of my mind, I had filed that detail away.<p>

"Edward, stop! You're hurting me," Bella cries out. "Edward!"

I scramble away from her and follow the movement of her hands as she rubs them up and down her biceps. Faint red marks in the shape of fingers are forming, and I gasp.

_Holy shit! What the fuck did I just do to her?_

"Shit!" I hiss and jump to my feet. "I–I'm sorry." I fist my hair, my eyes wide.

"I knew you'd react like this," she says almost inaudibly, fidgeting her hands in her lap.

"No. I'm sorry. I–I don't know why–God, I'm so sorry," I beg, seeking her forgiveness as I collapse next to her on the couch. I reach for her hand, clasping it between both of mine. I knead them together gently while attempting to collect my thoughts. Her free hand delicately traces back and forth over my bandage.

It's apparent to me that anything I say or do in the next few moments could potentially screw everything up even worse, and I need to make certain she understands my feelings. I'm all too aware of her gaze burning into the side of my face.

"Bella," I start, not looking at her. "Are you sure?"

_Stupid! Of course she's sure, she wouldn't be telling me just for kicks._

"Wait. Don't answer that. How long have you known?"

_Dumbass._

"Um, well I took a test about a week ago. I haven't been to the doctor yet, but…" she trails off, and I decide it's time to look at her.

"Bella…" I take a deep breath and look into her eyes "…why wouldn't you just tell me? Don't you think–?"

"I _wanted_ to tell you. I did. I was just _so_ scared of how you would react, and look…" she waves her free hand towards me "…I was right to be. Things between us haven't exactly been peachy, and I kind of freaked out when the test said positive. I had planned to tell you the other night when I came to get you from the study, but I panicked. I was overwhelmed, so I left." She blows out a shaky breath. "I'm not –I wasn't trying to keep it from you. I understand leaving may have not been the best decision, but I just needed–"

"What do you want now?" I interrupt, scared to death of her answer.

She holds my gaze for a moment and then turns her head away as tears fall from her eyes again. I reach out and delicately grasp her chin, turning her head, and forcing her eyes back to mine.

"What do you want, Bella?" I enunciate in fervor.

She shakes her head and closes her eyes, tears still rolling down her cheeks. "Edward, I…" She sniffles.

"I still mean what I said earlier. Before you even told me this, I meant it." I pause, and as she opens her eyes, I try to gauge her understanding. "I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife. Do you trust me?"

Her eyes soften, still full of unshed tears. "I need some time, Edward. I…I just–" She chokes back a sob and places her hand on my cheek. "I love you _so_ much, and…you say all the right things, but how can I be sure? I just need to be sure. I've lost my trust in you," she admits.

_Shit._

I drop my hand back to my lap and look away, shaking my head. "A baby doesn't change anything. I want forever with you, Bella. You just have to let me prove it to you."

_How do I make her understand that?_

I feel her shift her position, and she rests her forehead on my shoulder.

"I love you," I reiterate softly. My heart fucking hurts; I feel hopeless.

She nods and sighs. "Please, just give me some time."

I reluctantly nod my head. "What about the baby?"

She pulls back, and I turn to look at her. "Regardless of what happens between us, I _will_ have this baby, _our_ baby," she states firmly, placing her hands on her abdomen.

My eyes follow their movement, and I reach a shaky hand to join them. She moves hers, allowing me to place my hand directly onto her stomach, and then covers mine with hers. That chest-splitting sensation is back as I suddenly fear that it's really over. I close my eyes.

"Please know I want this. I want you. I want this baby. I want our life, and I want to give you the world."

Her hands are no longer on mine; however, as I open my eyes, I see she's moving them towards my face. She cups my jaw, and this time, it's her wiping the tears from my cheeks. I hold her lingering stare, silently begging with my eyes. Gradually, she closes the distance, softly pressing her lips to mine. It takes me only a moment to respond, and I slide my hand from her stomach to her waist, gripping it gently. Everything about the way her lips are pressed to mine shakes me; it feels final, like a goodbye kiss. I fucking hate it.

xxx

It's a quarter after seven in the morning as I pull my car into my parent's driveway. My dad's car is gone, so I figure he's already left for the hospital. Carlisle took over as the Chief Surgeon when they moved to Forks. Since it's such a small town, it actually allows him plenty of time to have a life outside of the hospital. My mother, Esme, started her own interior decorating company that keeps her fairly busy. She maintains an exclusive clientele, so as not to be overwhelmed with projects, and she can enjoy the fruits of a small town. Her clients stretch as far north as Canada, and as far south as Oregon. She's in her element, that's for sure.

As quietly as possible, I step in through the side door of the house into the kitchen. It's silent inside. I hear the wind rippling through the trees outside as I pad softly through the kitchen. Just as I pass through the doorway that leads into the living room, something to the left catches my attention.

_Holy shit!_

"Mom! Mom, it's me! It's Edward!" I scream as I scramble back through the doorway, falling on my ass, as my tiny mother flies at me swinging a baseball bat. I cover my head with my arms, hoping to dodge a blow. Luckily, she stops and doesn't knock me out.

"Oh my God! Edward! I'm so sorry! You scared me half to death, I thought—what are you doing here?" she rambles as we both catch our breath. She's clutching her hand over her chest as she turns and leans the bat against the wall.

I run my hands through my hair and lean back against the kitchen island. "Jesus, Mom." I chuckle, trying to calm my racing heart.

"Well, honey, you shouldn't sneak up on your momma like that. I thought you were some crazy psycho trying to break in." She squats down in front of me and pats my cheek. Her brow furrows. "What's wrong with my baby boy? You look exhausted. Talk to me, sweetie."

"I messed up, mom," I murmur. "Bella left me." My voice is weak, my throat scratchy.

"Hmm," she hums before standing up. She walks to the coffee pot and turns it on. Rising as well, I take a seat on a stool behind the island. I lean forward on my arms and run my hands through my hair again. Her silence is making me nervous. She turns and sets a mug of coffee in front of me before sitting down beside me.

"Stop pulling on your hair like that, you'll go bald," she scolds, pressing a firm hand to my arm. Instead, I wrap my hands around the warm mug and bring it to my face, inhaling the delectable scent. I _am_ exhausted, but I need my mom. I need her advice on this shit storm I've created.

"So, why don't you start from the beginning?"

So, I do. I tell her all the sordid details leading up to my Bella leaving. I tell her Bella's side of things, as well as my weak attempt at proposing just a few hours ago. She gives me the "Mom Look" and shakes her head; I know it's because of the pitiful way I asked. The only thing I don't tell her, at this point, is that she's pregnant. I'll get to that. I think I'm really worried that she'll go for the baseball bat again.

_Maybe I deserve it._

She takes a sip from her mug before she says, "Tell me something, dear. What do you expect from her?"

I'm sure the look on my face is one of confusion. "I–I don't know. I want her to forgive me and let me right all my wrongs."

"And you thought that a tearful, desperate proposal would do it?" She cocks her head to the side and mock glares at me.

_Yeah, never going to live that down._

"No, of course not. I guess I thought by finally asking her…she'd see how serious I am about her. About us," I respond like a sullen child.

She huffs. "Edward, I raised you better than this. For goodness sake, you lived the very life that she's afraid of! You have to know that being a doctor's wife wasn't easy for me, right?"

I nod.

"The difference is your father made it a point to _never_ let work come before you kids or me, no matter how busy he was." She looks down and shakes her head. "I never would have expected this from you. I know you love what you do, but I just can't believe that you let it lead your life like this, son."

_Fuck. I hate the disappointment in her tone._

"I don't know how it happened. It was like…one minute I'm this nobody lawyer, struggling to gain clientele, and the next–"

"You were a hot-shot lawyer, sitting on top of the fucking world?"

My eyes widen, and I choke back a cough.

_She said fuck. Mom never cusses. Yep, dead meat._

"Um, yeah, I guess? I just had this overwhelming need to help those families. With each new case, I grew more determined. Then when I'd win…I just…I can't even describe the feeling really. It was like I was doing a small part in ridding the world of one more evil person. I was living in this constant high."

"That's commendable, son, it really is; and I am proud of you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving your job and loving what you do, nothing at all. I believe you get _that_ kind of passion from your father." She pauses. "Can I ask you something else though?"

I nod again.

"This 'high' you say you felt at winning those cases…how does that compare to the love you feel for Bella?"

_Ouch. Score one for mom._

"There is no comparison, mom. I would walk away from all of it right now, just to keep her."

Tears well in her eyes as she smiles at me. She rests her hand on top of my arm and squeezes gently.

"Yes, you're just like your father," she says gently. "If you truly want to have a life with Bella, or any life at all, you _have_ to be willing to walk away at the end of the day. You have to learn to rule your job, not let it rule you. You can't save them all, son. You're not a superhero. There has to be some balance."

_Oh, shit._

"Did you talk to Renee?" I question as I narrow my eyes at her. Now I'm scared that she already knows what I am not telling her.

She shrugs. "She may have called." She takes a sip from her coffee.

_Oh, shit._

"So, then…did you already know this was going on?"

_Fuck. I feel like a little kid with my hand caught in the cookie jar._

"I wanted you to come to me. You know I'm not like Renee; I don't interfere," she states matter-of-factly.

I sigh. "Mom, I need your help. How do I win her back?"

She pats and then holds my cheek. "Oh, sweetie, as much as I would love nothing more than to help you, you're on your own with this. You're old enough to make your own decisions, and obviously, your own mistakes. Right now, Bella needs more than your promises and _terrible_ proposals…" she glares, and I drop my head in shame "…she needs reassurance."

"I told her I gave over the case I was working on to Mike. It was even more time consuming than the last one I was working on," I mumble, not sure if I am looking for vindication in telling her this, but I feel I need to.

"Well, that's a good starting point, sweetheart. I'm fairly certain this is not going to be an easy situation for you both to overcome, but I _do_ know how much that girl loves you, and a love like the two of you share only happens once in a lifetime."

I lean forward and drop my head to the cool marble surface of the counter. "I love her so much it hurts. I'm such an idiot for ever letting her doubt that."

She rubs her hand up and down my back soothingly. "Go upstairs and get some rest. We can talk about this more when you have a clearer head. There's no sense in exhausting yourself."

"Mother, are you absurd? Sleep? How can I sleep at a time like this? When my life is crumbling around me?"

"Listen to your mother. You need to get some rest, and when you do, I think you will have a little more confidence that things will work out."

"You really believe that? That things will work out?" I ask with way too much hope filling my voice.

"Edward, I believe that nothing in life is coincidence. I know you well enough to know that you will do whatever it takes to restore her faith in you."

I nod as a lump forms in my throat.

She leans in and whispers, "You have too much passion, son." She winks, then moves to the sink and sets in her mug before leaving the kitchen.

_Apparently misplaced passion._

xxx

I kick off my shoes and flop down on the bed in the room deemed as mine. Emmett, Alice and I have never lived in this house, but my mother still insisted that we each have our own room.

I replay the events of the morning over and over in my head. She asked for time and space. I just don't know how much I can give her. I am scared to death that if I give her too much space, she'll think I'm not serious. But I am. I meant every word I said to her. My world just doesn't exist without her.

I roll over and pull my cell phone from my pocket.

**Just wanted to say I love you. – E**

I'm not expecting a response, so when I lay the phone on the nightstand, the chime startles me. My heart fucking soars as I read her response.

**_I love you too. – B_**

**I miss you so much baby. I'm so sorry for everything. – E**

**_Please just give me some time to believe you. – B_**

I sigh. I want to just wrap my arms around her and hold her. I want to make all of this just go away.

**I promise to try. I meant every word I said. – E**

A few minutes pass and I assume that she'll say no more.

**I love you Bella. I love our baby. I love you with every part of me. I'll never stop. – E**

Apparently, at some point in waiting for a response, I fell asleep. The shrill of my ringtone alerts me to this as I jerk up in bed. Momentarily disoriented, I scan the room before realization sets in. The phone chimes again, and my heart races.

"Hello?" I answer, my voice is thick with sleep. I'm not sure if this is a dream or if she's really calling me.

"Did I wake you?" her angel voice asks softly.

"No, it's fine." I rub my eyes and glance at my watch. I've been asleep for almost five hours. _Damn_. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. No. I just...I was able to get an appointment to see a doctor today…I was…" I can almost picture her fidgeting as she lets out a breath. "They said they would do a sonogram to see how far along I am and to make sure, you know, everything's okay. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yes! What time? Where? I'll pick you up!" I rush out.

_Simmer down. You're going to freak her out!_

"No, you don't have to–"

"I want to, Bella. I want to take you. Please let me?"

"Um…yeah, okay. It's at three, so can you be here around two-thirty then?"

"Of course." I pause; seriously hoping this isn't a dream. "Thank you."

"Okay, so I'll see you then."

"I love you, Bella," I say softly. I need her to hear it.

"I love you, too. Bye."

I can't stop the massive smile that spreads across my face as she hangs up. I have just over an hour before I need to leave, so I jump up and rush to the shower.

I'm going to see my babies!

**End Notes:**

Aww...don't ya just love Esme? Just like I imagine her...not the meddling kind, but definitely supportive and loving.

Let's see what happens at the Dr. shall we? They're both a little calmer now...maybe they can sneak in a rational conversation? Wait...Bella?...rational? What pregnant woman is rational? You're laughing...I know you are! )

I'm adding the finishing touches to Ch 9 today, so hopefully I'll have it in validation for you tomorrow.

xoxox


	10. Chapter 9 :: Treasure

**A/N:**

Sorry for the delay folks...holiday weekend and all that jazz! Hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend! Mine was spent writing (at the beach) CH11 & 12 for you! :)

So, I should warn you... I was told this chapter was a tear jerker. I didn't plan it that way, but if it evokes that kind of emotion...wowsa! So...**TISSUE WARNING** I think it's cute... :)

How's the Dr. appt gonna go? We're still in EPOV, but I think Bella's gonna take over next chap. :) Enjoy!

All the usual:

**Story Blog** (chap pics, character pics, song, etc) linked in my blog!

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07

SM owns the characters, I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

* * *

><p>The ride to the hospital is filled with silence. It's suffocating, but I don't want to push her, so I leave it be. I park the car and scurry to her side to open her door. I offer my hand with a small smile and she takes it willingly, allowing me to help her out. We walk hand-in-hand through the glass doors and down a long corridor to the OBGYN clinic.

"Bella Swan, to see Dr. Garner," Bella tells the receptionist. She's handed a clipboard with paperwork to complete and we take a seat in the waiting room. Once she's finished and turned it in, she takes her seat beside me and begins fidgeting. Whether it's nerves from anticipation or from me, I am not sure, but I'll do anything to try to reassure her. I drape my arm across the back of her shoulders and pull her close, placing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Don't be nervous, love," I whisper soothingly.

Minutes later, she is called back. She grips my hand and pulls me with her. We're guided down a short hallway to an exam room, where the medical assistant instructs Bella to remove her clothing from the waist down, and lie back on the exam table. She offers a drape to conceal her lower body. Bella's cheeks heat up, and it's almost laughable, seeing as though I have seen her in various states of undress on more than one occasion. Hence, the whole reason we're even here to begin with. I bite my bottom lip to suppress a smile, or possibly a groan.

_Dude, SO not the time to being thinking like that. _

"Would you like me to wait out front?" I offer.

She rolls her eyes. "Of course not. Nothing you haven't seen before," she says in a sassy tone.

_Down, boy._

Once she's settled atop the crackling paper of the exam table, there is a light knock on the door, and in steps her doctor.

"Miss Swan, pleasure to see you again," he says jovially. He reminds me of the "Soup Nazi" on _Seinfeld_, and I cough into the crook of my arm to cover my laugh. He's tall and lean, with a head of thick black hair and a thick mustache. It's worse than Charlie's.

"Hello, Dr. Garner," Bella responds shyly. "This is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen."

I step forward and shake his hand as he eyes me cautiously with a nod.

_Yes, I'm the asshole that knocked her up. Can we get on with it?_

"So, I hear congratulations are in order?" He smiles warmly at Bella.

She flushes again, biting her bottom lip with a small smile and nods.

"Well, according to your chart your last menstrual was February twentieth. However, you've been on _Nuvaring,_ is that correct?" He asks, his tone becoming clinical.

"Yes, that's right. I've never missed a month on it, so I am not sure…" Bella states, and then begins fidgeting again. I stand closer to the side of the table and weave my fingers together with hers. She looks to me and fear is evident in her eyes.

_What is she scared of? Me?_

I lean over and press my lips to her forehead hoping that it offers her some reassurance.

She sighs. "I've been very diligent about birth control, so to say that this is a surprise would be an understatement."

_I'll say._

"Well, as I am sure you're aware, no birth control is one-hundred percent effective in preventing pregnancy. How have you been feeling? Have you had any nausea, vomiting, or even the opposite, lack of appetite?"

She shakes her head. "No…well, I mean, I threw up last night, but it was the first time. I've been trying to eat, but I guess I haven't had much of an appetite lately?" She finishes it off sounding like a question.

He eyes me cautiously before looking back to her. "Okay, and how's your stress level been?"

"Um…well, not so well lately either," she answers in almost a whisper. His eyes snap to mine again and he narrows them. I won't be intimidated, so I hold his gaze firmly. He scribbles in her chart before saying, "Stress this early in a pregnancy can be harmful to both you and the fetus, please keep that in mind and do what's necessary to reduce your stress levels. Understand?"

She nods.

"Let's take a look and see what we can determine, shall we?"

He moves to the head of her exam table, and pulls the drape down to the top of her hips. With both of his hands, he begins kneading and pressing on her abdomen causing her to flinch slightly. This momentarily freaks me out, since I am a complete idiot and have no control over my emotions.

"Is that really necessary?" I ask, trying not to growl.

_The fucker better stop hurting her._

They both jerk their heads in my direction and Dr. Garner cocks an eyebrow at me.

"I'm simply feeling for the fundus, Mr. Cullen, before I perform the vaginal exam."

_Excuse me? Vaginal exam? Oh, holy hell. _

"In laymen's terms, it's the top of, or the larger end of the uterus. During pregnancy it is how we diagnostically measure the growth of the fetus."

His condescending tone of voice makes me want to punch him in his smug face, but instead, I hold tightly to Bella's hand and shut my mouth. A second later the medical assistant returns.

"Okay now, Bella, if you could please lift your feet into the stirrups and let your knees relax open."

_Fuck my life._

"Um, Edward, if I ever plan to use this hand again, I need circulation," Bella says softly, twisting our hands.

"Crap. Sorry, babe," I respond and loosen my grip.

Dr. Garner stands directly between Bella's legs and I have to divert my stare. I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen at this appointment, but I am _so_ not prepared for this. Instead, I focus on her face. She takes a deep breath, locking her eyes with mine. From my peripheral, the doctor and the assistant are moving their hands back and forth from a tray set up beside her legs. I hear the snap of his latex gloves and then Bella winces, squeezing her eyes closed. I force myself to remain focused on her face, as his hand begins the kneading on her stomach again. Her grip on my hand tightens, and helplessness washes over me as I watch her face contort in discomfort. I gently comb my fingers through her hair at the crown of her head. Though, whether it's for her comfort or mine, I'm not sure.

"Well, Bella, you're definitely pregnant," Dr. Garner states, as her face relaxes, and her eyes flutter open.

_No shit, Sherlock. Bella doesn't lie._

"Let's take a look inside, all right?"

The medical assistant shifts the table, allowing Bella to stretch her legs flat and repositions the drape to cover her lower body, while the doctor moves to the opposite side and turns on, what I presume, is the ultrasound machine. He clicks a few buttons and then grasps a wand-like device and a bottle of some blue colored goop. He squirts it directly onto her abdomen and she shivers slightly, before he places the wand directly into it and spreads it around.

With extreme fascination, I focus on the small black and white screen in front of him. It's some sort of upside-down cone shaped fuzziness, not making much sense to me at all. The sound it creates is something similar to the needle of a record player as it scratches across an album, yet hollow sounding at the same time.

Suddenly, a black kidney-shaped hole is present in the cone as he continues to move the wand and click buttons on the machine. At this very moment, time stands still. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, as I scrutinize the image. In the center of the black hole, a white shape takes form. It's almost alien-like, but I'm positive I'm staring directly at my child. _Our child. _I can slightly discern the four dot-like appendages of arms and legs, as well as a large blob that is the head and a smaller blob, which is the body. He clicks another button, and what sounds like a freight train under water, fills the air.

"There's the heartbeat," Dr. Garner says softly with a smile on his face.

_Holy fuck! That's…that's our…baby._

I let out an exasperated breath of shock and wonder. My heart feels like it's swelling up to the size of Texas. _Love. _I can't tear my eyes away from the screen as I watch the little bean twitch and roll. He clicks a few more buttons and the image freezes, then moves again. It feels like I just grew a completely new section of my heart.

_Our baby._

A warm hand feathers across my cheek. I reluctantly look down to see Bella's eyes full of tears and realize she's wiping them from my face as well. I can't restrain myself, and I crash my lips to hers. She gasps lightly and grips the back of my head. I move back a touch and begin peppering her face with kisses.

"I…" kiss on one cheek "…love…" kiss the tip of her nose "…you…" kiss her other cheek "…so much…" kiss her lips once again. I rest my forehead to hers as a small smile plays on her lips and her nails scratch softly on the back of my neck.

"God, Bella, I love you so much," I half whisper, half sniffle.

Dr. Garner clears his throat, effectively breaking the moment. "So, based on your last menstrual period, and the size of the fetus, I determine that you're between nine and ten weeks along. That puts your estimated due date anywhere from November 18th to 28th. Once you're further along, we'll be able to gauge a more accurate date. I'll have my lab tech draw some blood to make sure all your levels are where they should be. I'm also writing you a prescription for prenatal vitamins. If you find that they make you nauseous, please let me know, or you can also try taking them at night before going to bed."

Bella nods as she wipes her face with the back of her hand.

"Please remember what I said about your stress level. Also, as I am sure you're already aware, you need plenty of rest. The first trimester is the most fragile, as well as draining. So, eat right, drink plenty of fluids, and take it easy," he addresses her firmly. He scribbles again in her chart, then hands her the prescription.

"Do either of you have any questions?" he asks as he looks between us.

At the moment, I am still overwhelmed and can think of nothing past the little bean I just witnessed. We both shake our heads.

"Don't hesitate to call the clinic if you do. Congratulations to the both of you." He shakes my hand, pats her leg, and leaves the room.

The medical assistant hands Bella two small squares of paper. "Your baby's first photo," she says warmly with a smile, before she also turns and leaves the room.

xxx

"Can I take you to dinner?" I ask hopefully as we leave the parking lot.

"Um, I guess I could eat," Bella responds with a shrug, still looking intensely at the ultrasound photos.

"Is Port Angeles okay, or would you rather go to the diner?" There are not many options for eating out in Forks, and I want to buy as much time with her as I can. It's an hour to Port Angeles, so I can only hope to make the most of it. I eye her carefully as I await her response.

"Actually, The Port is fine. I'm not really in the mood for steak and cobbler," she returns. I nod and start the drive out of town.

Once again, silence fills the car. The need to say something torments me. She sighs softly beside me as she watches the passing scenery.

"Edward…"

"Bella…"

We both start at the same time.

"Please…ladies first," I offer with a warm smile, trying to swallow past the constricting sensation in my chest.

Bella is quiet for a moment as she looks down at the photos in her hands. "Why did you give Mike the Hunter case? You know you're better than he is."

_Well, that's not the question I was expecting._

I take a moment to gather my thoughts. "Bella," I begin and then clear my throat. "I appreciate your faith in me, I really do." I let out a deep sigh. "The day you left…well…it rocked me to the core knowing that I was losing you. If I had a time machine, baby, I would go back and change a lot of things. I _never_ meant to make you feel the way that you do right now. _Never._ Giving Mike the case didn't even faze me." I reach my hand across the center of the car and thread my fingers through hers. "I understand that it's time to get my head out of my ass, and believe me when I tell you…I am seeing things in a whole new light." I bring our joined hands to my face and kiss the inside of her wrist before dropping them to my lap.

"Am I worried that James will get off if _I_ don't present the case? Not really. The case against him is strong enough alone, and be it myself or Mike who presents it, he'll get exactly what he deserves. What I have been failing to see all along is most of these cases are. I don't know how to explain it to you, without sounding like an egotistical ass…but I think I was so caught up in the glory that I couldn't see past my own nose. I let myself believe that if it wasn't for me, the cases would fail."

_Yep, egotistical indeed. Jackass._

Neither one of us speak for a moment. "Bella, I won't make _that_ mistake again. I believe I knew all along what I stood to lose, but you slapped me in the face with it by showing me. Whether it makes sense to say this or not, and as much as it completely ripped my heart out, you leaving was probably the best thing you could've done. I obviously wasn't hearing you, so I understand your need to do something so extreme." I pause a beat. "At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I am _so_ very sorry."

"Edward, I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, _want_ to believe you. I really do. I'm just scared to." She exhales and wipes away tears from her face. "It's not just about you and me anymore," she whispers, again looking at the photos in her lap.

I softly stroke the top of her hand with my thumb, encouraging her to continue. I need her to lay it all out there for me, so I can somehow try to reassure her doubts.

"I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry that my colossal mood swings caused me to do something drastic, and completely out of my nature. I suppose I should warn you…I cry at the drop of a hat, and then laugh hysterically in the very next minute; only to become a complete raving bitch in the next. These hormones are seriously fucking with me and I pray to all that is Holy that something gives soon. Until then, I wish you the best of luck." She chuckles softly, and my heart soars at the sound of it.

_There's my Bella._

She sniffles still looking at the photos. "I have never in my life known a love like ours is…or was. Do you really understand how you made me feel? Because if you don't, then there's nothing for you to fix."

_And back to a more serious note… _

_First of all, was? Not okay with that at all._

"Tell me," I implore, gripping firmer on her hand. I'll do anything I can, even if what she is about to say shatters me more.

She sighs heavily. "When you first asked me to move with you to Carolina, I thought every last one of my dreams had somehow magically come true. The love of my life was asking me to build a life with him; how could I possibly say no to that?" She pauses for a moment. "Do you remember what it was like when we first got there?" I see her turn to me from the corner of my eye, waiting for a response.

I nod, concentrating firmly on the winding road around Crescent Lake as the guilt begins to seep into my soul. "Those first few years…they were so perfect, Edward. Even though you were just starting the firm, you were still there with me. We did things together. You still made me feel like you _wanted_ me around. You made time for us." She stops again and looks out her window. I hear her muffle a sob.

_Fucking fool. Look what you did to her._

"I guess it was right before the Carter case, or at least, that's when I began to notice it more often than not; but that's when you really began to pull away from me. You started working later and later. I'd make dinner and you sometimes didn't even call to tell me you were working late, so it'd go to waste. Or I'd set up a surprise for us to spend some time together, and you'd end up going into the office that weekend." She sobbed a little louder. "Please, don't misunderstand. I was so proud watching you work your magic in the courtroom. You can't even begin to imagine what a turn on that was for me. You're so good at what you do." I glanced at her to see the blush rising on her face.

"It was like you became immune to my advances though. Honestly, there were times when I began to question your fidelity." I gasped, immediately feeling even more like an idiot for _ever_ giving her _that_ sort of feeling. I continue to restrain myself from interrupting her, because I need her to finish.

"I know…I really do know…you would never do that to me, but you have to understand my line of thinking. We went from what some would call, an over-active sex life, to an almost non-existent one. You, Edward, had never been one to turn down sex, yet late last year, you went three whole weeks without even so much as hugging me. It completely ripped my heart out." Tears streak down her face at a rapid pace.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to choose between your job and me, because that is not at all what I am asking of you. I'd never do that. I just can't keep living the way that we have been, wondering when I am going to see you, have dinner with you, make love with you…I need to know that I have a place in your life, too."

_God, she's so fucking broken. _

She clears her throat and straightens up in the seat. "More importantly, I need to know that you can put your work aside when necessary, and be a father. Because if you can't be there for me –I just–how can I be sure that _we_ are even enough for you?" The sobs rock through her body.

_All right, I've had about enough of this shit._

I pull the car off the side of the road into a gravel lot that overlooks the lake. I slam it into park before turning to face her. I drop her hand and turn her head gently to look into her eyes. She needs to see that I am completely sincere.

"_You_, Isabella Marie Swan, are everything I could ever possibly want and so much more. I love how loyal, funny, passionate, intelligent, protective, beautiful, sassy and fucking sexy you are. Don't ask me to name them all, because I still wouldn't be able to completely describe you. I love you with my whole heart and soul. I love you with a love that I never knew was even remotely possible. I want to marry you. I want to have more and more babies with you. Please, don't let my stupidity and lapse in judgment make you doubt, for one second longer, my love for you," I plead, before kissing her firmly, pouring my heart into the promise.

Bella whimpers softly and I take the opportunity to further deepen the kiss. I suck her bottom lip gently between mine, softly stroking it with my tongue. Unfortunately, this causes the exact opposite reaction I was hoping for, and she gently pushes on my chest to break the kiss. Our foreheads come together as we catch our breath, while my fingers softly grip the hair at the base of her neck.

"I'm a fucking fool, that's what I am," I say breathlessly. "Nothing will ever take the place of you and our child. I need you to try to understand that. I'll give you the time and space that you are asking for, so long as you promise me that you will hear me when I say this…" I pause, leaning back to look deep into her eyes. She nods, and with every ounce of love I have for her I say, "If you give me another chance, I promise you, nothing like this will _ever_ happen again. You have taught me a very valuable lesson and it's one mistake I am not willing to make again. Our love is once-in-a-lifetime, Bella, and I am not giving it up without a fight."

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><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

How freakin' cute was Edward with seeing the baby? AWWWW...I'll have his baby...oh wait...dammit. Now, before you jump me, I personally know 2 people who have gotten pregnant while using Nuvaring...one being my sister, so it fits.

Progress? Maybe so! Bella got a lot off her chest to him. And they did it, thus far, without screaming at each other. So, yeah, it's all the same stuff we've already heard, but they are FINALLY telling EACH OTHER! What's gonna happen in the Port? Hmm...

Thank you SO much for your reviews! They mean more than I can express!

Ch 10 is done...just final editing. :) See ya soon! xoxox


	11. Chapter 10 : Break Down or Break Through

**A/N:**

First...a HUGE THANK YOU to Cattinson for taking on beta'ing this story for me! She rocks!

OK, so we're heading back to BPOV for a chap. I will tell you, she fought with me like CraZy in this chapter...seriously, I lost sleep. This was a tough one to write, and I am not even 100% sure WHY, it just was!

So, without further ado...

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 – Break Down or Break Through?<strong>

**BPOV**

I listen with rapt attention to the most sincere apology he's ever given me. I feel like he ripped his chest wide open, exposing me to the deepest depths of his heart. No, I know he just did. More than anything else at this very moment, I want to forgive him, push it all aside and pretend none of it ever happened. Obviously, that's not realistic. The logical side of my brain is saying that I need more time to process everything, while my heart pulls out a chisel and knocks down another row of bricks from the wall I have carefully constructed. It would be so easy to just fall right back into his arms, but I am terrified that if, or when, we go back home, things will go right back to how they were. I need to be certain. If I don't think this through–if we fail–it will literally crush me.

He pulls me firmly against his chest, effectively causing another row to crumble. I fist my hands into his shirt and breathe in his glorious scent. If only I could stay right here forever. "I accept your apology, Edward. We just need to take this one-step at a time. I have to learn to trust you again," I say, attempting to control the wavering of my voice.

"I'll do whatever you need," he responds softly, before gently kissing my head and releasing me. He pulls the car back out onto the road and we continue to Port Angeles.

As the scenery swirls by in flashes of greens and browns, I replay the events of the past twelve hours. So much has happened that it's hard to believe it's still the same day. When he showed up–pounding on Charlie's door–this morning I wasn't sure I was ready to see him; let alone speak to him. However, after laying my eyes on him–he was a hot mess. I couldn't help but soften slightly and resign myself to at least hear him out.

I've never seen a man more broken or vulnerable, then when he was on his knees begging and sobbing against me. It took every ounce of restraint I could muster, not to cave. _Every. Single. Ounce._ I had to dig down deep and pull up the hurt and anger he had caused me, to help him understand that it wasn't just that easy. Then…my God…he asked me to marry him. The part of me that has been waiting for that question for almost five years, wanted to leap into his arms and scream, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" but the other part of me that felt crushed by his recent behavior, told me to slow the hell down. I had no other choice, in that moment, than to tell him about the baby. If he was sincere with that tearful–despite lame–proposal, he had to know everything. I was sure he'd have a panic attack, and I was right. Edward is a control freak at best, and a baby is simply the last thing either of us ever expected.

When I called him that afternoon to tell him about the doctor's appointment, I hadn't expected him to want to go, let alone pick me up. The look in his brilliant green eyes as Dr. Garner showed us the baby, quite possibly made me fall in love with him all over again. He was so mesmerized, he wasn't even aware he was crying. It was the complete opposite of how he was this morning. As if every facet clicked back into place for him, upon seeing that little blob of our baby on the screen. He was no longer broken. I couldn't stop myself from touching him, or kissing him. To see the man I love, fall in love with our child…it was the single best moment of my life.

His thumb sweeps across my cheek and snaps me out of my reverie. I was hardly aware of a few things, such as the car no longer moving, or the tears falling from my eyes.

"We're here. Are you still hungry?" he asked softly, leaning towards me. His eyes sparkle in the setting sun and he smiles his infamous crooked smile at me. I'm lost to him for a moment, wanting to wrap my arms around him and have my way with him.

_Damn pregnancy hormones. He would have to go and fuck things up when I am hornier than I have ever been in my life. Stupid man._

I roll my eyes at him and look away. "The dazzling effect isn't going to work tonight, Mr. Cullen."

He feigns innocence. "Why, I have no idea what you're referencing, Miss Swan. I was simply marveling in the beauty of your eyes."

_Ass. I've missed this Edward. Playful Edward._

I reach for the door handle, but he stops me. I turn back to look at him, slightly confused.

_Um, hello? Pregnant woman starving here! You said eat, let's fucking eat!_

"I love you," he simply states.

My eyes flicker back and forth between his. He's so stunningly beautiful, and I can see the hope and love spilling out of his soul. I can't stop myself as I place my hand on his cheek and softly press my lips to his for a moment.

"I love you too, Edward. Now, can we eat, please? I'm starving!" He chuckles as I step out of the car.

He leads me into the restaurant with his hand on the small of my back, and just his touch alone ignites a blaze of heat across my skin. As we reach our table, he pulls out my chair and kisses the side of my neck before I sit. I may have whimpered slightly.

_Oh, holy hell. Simmer down, Bella. Now is not exactly the best time to try and jump his bones. Issues remember? We have issues._

_Issues can be resolved in fits of passion though, right? Ever heard of make-up sex?_

_Jesus, I'm seriously losing my mind. Hi, crazy, party of one._

I minutely shake my head to clear the lust fog as he flashes his crooked smile. He knows exactly what he does to me. _Ass. _Our waiter takes our order and leaves us alone. Edward reaches his hand across the table and caresses my fingers.

"Thank you for asking me to come with you today. I can't even explain…" he stops and seems to be collecting his thoughts. His eyes hold an enormous amount of emotions, which causes my breath to catch in my throat. I flip my hand over to grasp his.

"I wanted you to be there, Edward. You needed to be there with me. I was never trying to keep this from you."

He nods slightly, his gaze penetrating. "Thank you." His voice is thick and his eyes are watery.

If I ever had any doubts about how he would feel in regards to this baby, they immediately vanish. It's overwhelmingly apparent that he could not be any happier about this than I am, despite my immediate fears. I struggle to keep the damn of tears from bursting open. Planned or not, we're both happy.

Dinner is quiet, save for the sound of the surrounding patrons and the clinks of our forks against our plates. It's not unbearable like the car rides have been; it's actually pleasant.

I can't help myself from stealing occasional glances at him. He is, after all, still the love of my life and, not to mention, fuck-hot. I try subtly to study his body language, but a few times he catches me and winks. This causes my unavoidable reaction to him, and my face turns beet red. Edward and I have always had a very distinct, undeniable connection. It's like a force of nature really. My mom says we're like magnets; I move, he moves. I can sense his presence, and he mine. Without having to _really_ know if the other is there, we simply just know. It can be terribly frustrating at times, however on the same token, it's also calming. Sitting here now, that's exactly how I feel. Calm.

Sadly, that connection is why things are the way they are now. It's apparent that neither one of us is quite able to feel complete without the other. Some may classify it as unhealthy, but it's just how we are. Although, he's now admitted to it; he wasn't aware that he was taking advantage of me, or rather the situation. This is where my trust in him falters, because that's frightening. I was there and he foolishly believed that I always would be, no matter how much he subconsciously pushed me away. He took _me_ for granted, and I can't just allow him to do that.

It sucks, because there are still many aspects of my trust in him that remain strong. I trust that he does love me; even if I've questioned on more than one occasion, that it's enough. I wholeheartedly trust that he would never cheat on me. I trust that he loves our baby. It's my trust in his ability to balance out his work and our relationship that fails. I don't trust that he can honestly put our family ahead of that need he feels to be the best. It's a _huge_ step in the right direction for him to have given Mike the Hunter case. To say that shocked me…well, that's the understatement of the century. Never in a lifetime would I have even seen that coming. I swear my heart jumped into my throat at that declaration. So, this is where _I_ falter…talk about an enormous gesture! The main thing that came between us, and he didn't even think _twice_ about passing it off? That says a lot, right?

The problem that keeps jumping to the front of my mind is that I can no longer sit by and be a doormat. Edward has poured his heart out, and it's clear he's trying. I'm willing to give him that, but I can't just let go of all of my fears in a single second because he tells me what I desperately want to hear. It can't be that easy…can it?

I'm suddenly reminded of a Jane Austen quote from _Sense and Sensibility_.

_"Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear that I may be wrong?"_

I know that forgiving Edward for the mistakes he's made in the past year will be hard, mainly because trust is such a hard thing to restore once it's been lost. But should it be? Is it wrong of me to fight so hard against him? Where do we even begin to rebuild our foundation? Top it all off with a fucking cherry; we're having a baby. No turning back on _that_ now. Babies, expected or not, _always_ complicate things.

_God, I'm getting a headache. Even my thoughts are incoherent._

"Take a walk with me?" Edward asks, standing beside me, his hand outstretched in offering. Clearly, my inner turmoil has distracted me from the fact that we've both finished our meals and he's already paid. I offer a hesitant smile and take his hand.

Springtime in Washington is beautiful, but so much colder than North Carolina. The highs for the Port are what the lows would be in Wilmington. The atmosphere is almost the same though, and maybe that's why I feel in love with our little beach town. It's cozy. I shiver involuntarily as we stroll past the shops and late century buildings. Edward drops my hand, opting instead to wrap his arm around my shoulders. Again, I breathe him in.

"So, where do we start?" he asks quietly, as we turn a corner and head in the direction of the harbor.

_Where indeed?_

"Well…I guess with the obvious? Work."

He doesn't answer right away, and I chance a look up at him. His brow is scrunched up with his lips in a tight line. It's clear he's deep in thought, but he looks slightly pissed too. This sets off a swarm of butterflies in my stomach.

"I–I mean…I guess…you don't…"

_Shit. Finish a damn thought, Bella!_

"No, no. It's fine. You're right. I was just thinking is all. I want to make sure what's in my head, comes out of my mouth right," he responds, gently stroking his hand up and down my arm.

We've ended up on the Waterfront Trail, which runs along the harbor. The sun is beginning its decent into the horizon. The sky is ablaze with color–fiery orange, searing reds, hot as the sun yellows, and yet the outer edges have begun to cool to swirls of sapphire and violet with the encroaching night. He guides us over to a bench situated at the rocky water's edge, removing his arm from my shoulder only to thread his fingers through mine. He leans forward on his other arm and combs his fingers through his hair.

As the silence looms, an uneasy feeling creeps up my spine. I desperately needed him to say something to redirect the negative thoughts my mind is starting to conjure up. I release a heavy sigh and lean back against the bench, trying to focus on the boats and birds out in the harbor.

"Bella," he starts. His voice is low and shaky. "I really don't know what else I can say to make you understand." He pauses and sighs, directing his gaze to the harbor as well. "This morning I told my mom that I would walk away from it all if it meant that you'd give me another chance." My mouth drops open and I jerk my head, staring hard at his profile.

_Wait. What? _

It takes me a second to process this information. "Edward…I'd…never…" I start, slowly shaking my head.

"If that's what it takes for me to prove my love for you, I'll do it," he says with a fierce tone. He turns his gaze to me; his eyes are a deep, dark jade.

_That's not what I want at all._

I'm flabbergasted. This was the very last thing that I ever expected him to say. I don't want him to give up his job, _at all._ I just don't want to come in second to it anymore.

"No." I clear my throat. "I don't want you to do that. I know you love your job, and I'd never be able to live with myself. That's not what I want, Edward," I plead.

The look in his eyes is so intense that it sends a wave of chills across my skin. He lets out a deep breath through his nose and once again looks back across the harbor. Suddenly he's on his feet and pacing in front of me, combing his fingers roughly through his hair once again. I feel like I have whiplash.

"Don't you see?" he asks through gritted teeth as he stops and stares down at me. "I'd fucking do _anything_ for you, Bella. How do I make you understand that? Tell me what I can do to make you see that there is nothing for me in this life without _you_. Tell me!" he practically shouts at me.

_Well, fuck you!_

"Don't yell at me," I growl back at him, narrowing my eyes and rising to my feet as well. Our locked eyes battle for dominance as my fists clench at my sides.

"Why do you have to make this so hard? I fucked up. I get that. I've fucking fallen to my knees and begged you to forgive me, and you can't even fucking do it! Why? Do _you_ not love _me_ enough to fight for us? Is that it? Is this just a waste of my time?" Now he's yelling.

_Son-of-a-bitch. How dare he!_

Before I even register it, my palm is making hard contact with his face. "Fuck you, Edward."

He doesn't speak as he steps closer to me, leaving only inches between us. He doesn't touch me, just continues to stare down at me. My fury at his words is starting to dissipate as my heart takes off and I am suddenly breathless. The warmth of his breath on my face surrounds me like a blanket. I almost want to close my eyes and let it steam into my pores, but I don't dare break eye contact.

He smirks as his hand rises to my face. Just the slight contact sends an electric current flashing through me. My eyes flutter shut against my will, and I feel him tuck an errant lock of hair gently behind my ear.

"Feel better?" he whispers against my cheek. My eyes pop open as he leans away.

"How could you even say something like that?" I implore. I can feel the tears stinging and I fight to hold them in. I take a step back from him. I need the distance for my brain to defog.

"Why would you–? That's not even fair to–? God, you're so frustrating!" I groan as I hug my arms around my waist and turn my head away from him. I feel like stomping my foot like a petulant child, but I refrain.

"Me? _I'm_ frustrating?" he asks softly with a chuckle. I roll my eyes and take another step back from him.

"What exactly is funny about this, Edward?"

"You're my fierce little kitten. You know how adorable I think you are when you're mad," he says with another chuckle.

_Fucker._

"Why do you assume it's just so easy for me to forgive and forget? Okay, I get that you're contemplating some _serious_ changes, but you act like–like I'm supposed to just say 'oh, thank you, thank you, Edward' and all is fine and dandy. I mean, is that how you see me? As some weak little woman that caves to your every word?" I shake my head as my lower lip quivers. A traitorous tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. I angrily swipe at it, looking away again. Edward reaches for my chin and softly pulls me back, not allowing me to hide my gaze.

"No. That's not how I see you," he says as he narrows his eyes at me. "I just don't know what else to do."

"You know how much I love you. Why would you throw that at me?" My tears are relentless now.

_Damn hormones._

"I told you that I accept your apology. But _you_ just have to understand that the trust you have broken won't be repaired at the drop of a hat." I pause and let out a deep breath. "I don't want you to quit your job. You know I am not that selfish."

We're both silent for a moment.

"I just don't want to be second best anymore." I take a ragged breath and close my eyes.

"Look at me," he says softly and I feel him place his hands on my hips.

"Bella." I open my eyes and look back up at him. God knows my resolve is wavering. His gaze suddenly softens as he pulls me in for a hug. I fight my angry tears as I push my hands under his coat, locking them around his waist and hold him close. I bury my face to his chest as my sobs take over. This is so damn hard. I want it to be easy, but I can't get past this fear of him not being there for our child or me. He keeps asking me what to do, and I can't even figure out an answer for him. Giving up his job–that's ludicrous. He can't possibly think I would ever ask him to do that.

His hand gently combs through my hair, and his body sways as he tries to calm me. I feel him press his lips to the top of my head and I close my eyes again, trying to soak him in.

"Do you understand the depth of my love for you?" he asks as he rests his chin on my head.

I nod against him. _I think so._

"I'll earn your trust back somehow. I promise you that." He drops his head to my shoulder and sighs. His hands weave their way around my lower back, under my coat. Back and forth, he glides them before gently slipping them under the hem of my shirt. The warmth of his touch spreads slowly across my skin, and I inhale shakily. I fist his shirt into my hands and attempt to pull him even closer. His head turns and he places a soft kiss just below my ear.

_Fuck. My. Life. Not the time. Not the time!_

"Bella," he breathes, then kisses the same spot again. His hands slide down to cup my ass and he presses me further into him. His arousal is obvious against my waist, and my breath hitches.

_Oh shit._

I press my forehead into his chest and am further assaulted by his scent as he slides a hand slowly up my ribs. I shudder uncontrollably and lean back to garner some breathing room. Of course, this isn't a great move either. He pulls back at the same time and his piercing green eyes capture mine. They're hooded; loaded with desire. I swallow hard.

"I really want to kiss you right now." His voice is low and heavy with lust. I'm captivated; trapped like the prey of a lion. My eyes flicker to the movement of his tongue wetting his lips then back to his eyes.

_ This man owns me and he knows it._

A half whimper, half gasp escapes me as he gently presses his mouth to mine. He smoothly moves a hand up to cradle my head while the other flattens against the small of my back as our lips move together. Where the kiss began as slow and gentle, it quickly becomes primal and greedy; drenched with every piece of hurt, anger, fear and heartache that has laced its way through us in the last few days.

You know the scene in _Gone With the Wind_, where Rhett kisses Scarlet, and at first she fights him, and he tells her "None of the fools you've ever known have kissed you like this, have they?" and she relents and molds into him? Yeah, that's about how I am feeling at this very moment. I'm swept off my feet, once again, by Edward's kiss.

He finally breaks away, allowing us both some much-needed oxygen, only to trail his lips and tongue along the edge of my jaw.

"Edward…oh, God…wait," I whisper breathlessly.

_No, don't wait!_

He exhales loudly and rests his chin on my shoulder. Our hearts beat erratically together as our breathing slows. He straightens up slowly, allowing his hands to find their way back to my hips.

"How long's it–?"

"Almost five weeks."

"Fucking hell, I'm an idiot." He brings our heads together.

A breathy giggle bubbles up from my chest. "Yeah, well…you don't have a little person inside of you causing your hormones to go haywire."

He clears his throat. "Right." He looks over the top of my head then back down at me. "Come on," he says with a smile, pulling me along the waterfront. We walk hand-in-hand to the pier. The wooden planks creak beneath our feet as we casually stride further out over the water. Edward stops just beneath the tower, pulling me between him and the railing. He places his hands on either side of me, trapping my body between his and the rail. He places a chaste kiss on my cheek before pressing his against mine.

The wind blows stronger over the water as we watch the sun make its final journey of the day beneath the horizon. I snuggle further into him and he wraps me in his embrace, pulling his coat around us both.

"It sure is beautiful," I observe softly. The sight holds more than my words are capable of encompassing.

"Doesn't compare to you," he retorts, squeezing me softly.

I could die right here in his arms, a happy woman. _This_ is us. An easy, comfortable and loving couple; surrounded in desire and passion for each other. _This_ is what has been missing for the last year. I run my hands along the tops of his, and it reminds me…

"What did you do to your hand?"

He stiffens slightly then harshly exhales with the shake of his head. "Something stupid."

I angle my head to the side to glance at him as his chin rests on my shoulder. "Edward?"

He huffs and…wait…is he blushing? "Let's just say that I let my emotions get the best of me and…I need to replace the mirror in the bathroom."

I gasp lightly. "Oh, Edward…what did you do?" I ask softly, looking down and gently caressing his bandaged hand.

He shrugs and then pulls me tighter to him. "I went crazy without you," he states simply with a kiss to my temple. "Please, don't ever leave me again."

_I went crazy without you, too. Or my subconscious did…stupid, crazy, fucked-up dream._

We turn our focus back on the last sliver of the sun sinking into the water. The horizon becomes a brilliant, thin gold line before swirls of colors take over. It's powerful, like the symphony reaching a crescendo and then quieting. Slowly fading into night, the stars come out to play, as we remain embraced in the beauty and poetic irony.

The sun has set on this long and tumultuous day. I close my eyes and breathe in the salty air. Maybe we made some progress today, or maybe not…but like _Scarlett_ says, "Tomorrow is another day."

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

Yeah...so? Are we getting there? idk, she was a PIMA this chap...I think we'll jump back into Edward's brain for a while.

*grumbles while walking away & shaking head* _Stubborn Bella._

Also, are you guys getting my replies to your reviews? I hope I'm doing it right! Just know...I read them all, and you make me smile and I THANK YOU...if you're not getting them...sniffle I'm sorry! I'm trying!

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	12. Chapter 11 :: Gestures

**A/N: **

Yeah...totally the response I was expecting to the last chapter! ;)

**Love You. Mean It!**

Not going to give anything away...just get to readin'...

Much love to Cattinson for beta'ing this chap! xoxox

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

The clock on the bedside table reads just after nine-thirty in the morning. It's been two days since Bella's doctor appointment, and even worse, since I've seen her. I'm trying desperately to give her space, but it's so damn difficult. Luckily, she still takes my phone calls and will text me back if I text her, but it really isn't the same. I miss her.

She gave me a copy of the ultrasound photo of our baby, and when I showed it to my mom and dad, I really thought my mother was going to disconnect my head from my shoulders. She wrapped her arms around me so tightly, jumping up and down…Jesus. To say that they're excited about becoming grandparents is an understatement. They're beyond ecstatic.

It wasn't all hugs and kisses though. I did get my ass handed to me by my mother, but was also able to have a heart-to-heart with my father. It was enlightening…

_Mom pulled back from the hug-of-death with tears streaming down her face._

_"I'm so happy for you, sweetheart. So, so happy." Then she smacked me on the back of the head._

_"Ow, mom!" I rubbed the back of my head and took a step back from her. _

_"Oh, please! I'm sure both Charlie and Bella want to do even more than that to you." She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. _

_I looked pleadingly to my dad for some sort of help with his woman. He threw his hands up defensively and said with a chuckle, "Your mother's right, son. You've gotten yourself into a rather eloquent debacle here. What are your plans?"_

_Great. Outnumbered by my parents now, too. _

_"I want to have this baby with her. I want to marry her and be a father. She wants the baby too, but I'm not so sure anymore that she wants me," I explained with a choke._

_My mother left the room to go "freshen up" after her little emotional outburst, leaving me alone with my father. _

_"I'm scared," I told him honestly._

_We took a seat on the couch. "I might understand a little about how you're feeling right now. Your mother left me once," he confessed._

_My head jerked to look at him. "What? When?"_

_"Well…she was pregnant with you, and Emmett was in his 'terrible-two's'. I was beginning my residency in Chicago and was working grueling hours. Between her lack of sleep from the pregnancy, exerting the rest of her energy with Em, and me hardly getting much sleep between shifts…well, you can imagine the tension. We fought and bickered constantly. One day, I made the unfortunate mistake of allowing one argument to become a screaming match. I said something to her about her wanting another baby so bad that she couldn't even wait until I was done with my residency." He sighed and shook his head. "It was a terrible and untrue thing to say in the first place, but then I just left and went to work. I didn't call her, nothing. I worked a thirty-six hour shift and when I came home, well…all of hers and Emmett's things were gone."_

_I was completely in shock. "What…what did you do?"_

_"Well, just like you've done…I went crazy trying to find her. I called everyone we knew. I called her parents and her sister. I finally was able to figure out that she went to her cousin's house in Alaska. So, I went there. I spent the next nine days on my knees begging for another chance."_

_"That sounds familiar," I muttered. "So, then…how'd you get her to take you back?" I asked, praying that he could offer me a glimmer of hope at getting Bella back._

_"A lot of talking, son. I was somehow able to convince her that I didn't mean what I said. That I had said it merely out of frustration and fatigue, not because it was how I really felt. She agreed to come home and give me another chance. You can bet your life, I kept myself in check after that. I quit taking for granted that your mother would always be there for me, regardless of how I acted or what I said. I made sure that she knew everyday, how much I loved her and treasured her."_

_I nodded my head in agreement. He was saying everything I wanted the opportunity to do. _

_"Cullen men, huh?" I said with a snicker. "So…how long until things went back to normal?"_

_"Well, son, things never went back to how they were before she left. Obviously, because that just wasn't working. It got easier after a few months though. I made her a priority, and made sure she knew it, too."_

After a quick shower, I head down to the kitchen to eat and find my mother at the stove flipping pancakes. I kiss her on the cheek before grabbing a mug for coffee.

"How did you sleep, dear?" she asks. I'm still cautious of her attitude, mainly because I don't want to get smacked on the head again.

I clear my throat. "Better than last night, but still not much." I haven't slept a full night in six days. I miss her.

"Well, you need to rest, son. It's not healthy for you to lose sleep. Now, sit and eat," she commands while plating a stack of pancakes and placing them on the bar.

"Mom? Do you think you might be able to help me with something?" I ask hesitantly while pouring syrup over the stack.

"Well, I'll try. What do you need?" She turns and faces me, leaning into the counter with her hip.

"I want to do something for Bella. I haven't seen her in two days and you know how that's killing me. I thought we made some progress on Tuesday…and…well, I just want to keep things going in the right direction." I pause and take a bite. I watch her, and can almost see the wheels spinning in her head as I swallow. "Do you think…maybe we could talk to Mr. Wallace about designing a ring?"

A slow, proud smile spreads across her face. "Of course, dear. I hope that intelligent mind of yours is also planning a much more _romantic_ proposal for the next time?"

I cleared my throat again. "Yes, mother, I am." She nods in encouragement for me to continue. "Would you mind letting me borrow the cottage for the night?"

"Not at all! Oh, that's perfect! You do need some time alone together, and I can think of no better place," she gushes and then begins flitting about the kitchen. "I'll head over there this afternoon and spruce it up. No one's been out there for a while, I'm sure there are plenty of cobwebs."

"Thanks, mom."

"Of course, dear." She pecks me on the cheek, then opens a drawer and pulls out a set of keys. "Here's the spare. I'll run to the store and stock the fridge for you…and then I'll need to…" she trails off as she leaves the room, still chatting away–apparently to herself now. I chuckle and shake my head.

I clean up my dishes and take a seat in one of the loungers on the back deck, watching the steam rise off the surface of the pool. When my parent's had it built, they also decided that it should be heated…living in the Pacific Northwest, of course, that was a brilliant idea.

I pull out my phone and text Bella.

**Good morning beautiful. I hope you slept well. xoxo - E**

**_Slept ok. How about you? – B_**

**Could've been better. I miss you. – E**

**_Miss you. – B_**

**I was hoping I could see you today. – E**

**_Is that so? – B_**

**Yes it is. Any plans today? – E**

**_You mean besides baseball on the flat screen? ) – B_**

I can't help but laugh out loud at that. _God, I miss her._

**I'll be there at 4. Wear something comfortable. - E **

**_What are you wearing? – B_**

Again, I laugh. She just set herself up for this one. I dial her number and smile when she answers.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Swan?" I tease.

"What? Oh my–shut up, Edward!" she fumbles as I laugh at her. I can just picture the blush on her face while she chews on her lip.

"Okay, okay…sorry. So really, I'll pick you up at four. Just be comfortable, it's nothing fancy. I just want to spend some time with you. Bring a change of clothes, too."

"Um, okay. Can you give me a hint?" she asks.

"Nope." I say, popping the "p".

She huffs. "Okay, well I guess I'll see you at four then."

"I'll be there. And, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, Edward. I'll see you later."

xxx

Mr. Wallace owns _Wallace Custom Jewelers_ in Port Angeles, and my mother redesigned his shop a few years back. He's been in the jewelry making business his entire life, learning the craft at an early age from his father. As my mother and I arrive at the store, he greets us with a warm welcome. I haven't seen the man in quite a few years, and he's aged considerably. His glasses rest low on his nose and his piercing blue eyes look up at us from his workstation as we enter the door.

"Esme, beautiful, how are you?" he asks, walking swiftly towards us and taking both her hands in both of his as he kisses her lightly on each cheek.

"I'm well, Kristoph, and you?"

"Doing well. Doing well. Who do we have here? This can't be little Edward, can it?" he asks with a chuckle as he turns to me.

"Hello, Mr. Wallace. How are you, sir?" I greet him with a smile, as I shake his callus-covered hand.

One of his hands grips mine, while the other grips my shoulder with a little shake. "You've grown into a handsome young man there, Edward."

"Thank you, sir."

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?" he asks, turning back to my mother.

"Actually, Edward would like to discuss something with you," she replies as she places both her hands on my arm.

He looks back at me as I answer, "Yes, sir. I'd like to talk to you about designing a ring for…well, the woman I plan to marry."

He clasps his hands together in front of his chest with a huge grin. "It would be an honor, Edward. Come, let's go in the back; you talk while I sketch."

The man is fucking brilliant. _Brilliant! _After maybe half an hour of me telling him about Bella and myself, he has drawn up something so simple, yet so…_perfect_. He has me look through a generous selection of loose diamonds that are the same shape that he drew the ring. This is where my mother comes in handy. We narrowed it down to size–I chose a two-carat diamond–and then she helped with the quality, clarity and all that other "diamond talk". I gave him the deposit to begin the design process and have to come back in next week to review the wax model of the ring. If it's good to go from there, then he'll cast it in platinum and set the stone. I'm fucking stoked. I cannot wait to see the finished product. More importantly, I can't wait to see it on her finger…I just have to get her to agree now.

As we drive back to Forks, I am lost in thoughts about the ring. It's not too flashy, because that's just not Bella. It's not too big or too small. It's not too gaudy or extravagant…it's just fucking perfect. The man is a genius. I mean, I guess that's to be expected after all, but from just a few stories about us and how I feel, how she makes me feel, and what I want for our life…he was able to come up with something…just…wow.

"You look excited." My mom observes quietly.

"Do I? I just…I'm speechless over his ability," I reply with a smile. "Now, I just have to convince the girl that I'm worth saying yes to."

She pats my arm across the car. "Not that _you're_ worth it, dear; that it's worth it for _her."_

I nod. She's right. So far moving Bella and myself completely across the country–and her giving up the only life she knew–I have done nothing to show her that it was worth it for her. That changes tonight. She made a huge sacrifice for us, now it's my turn.

"I cleaned up the cabin for you, dear. I also made sure there was enough food, and there's a stack of wood for the fireplace on the back stoop. I also made dinner, so all you'll need to do is heat it up," she explains. "Is there anything else you needed me to do?"

"No, you've done enough. Thank you."

I drop her off at the house; still having a few errands I want to make on my own before I retrieve Bella. If everything goes according to plan, she will see that I am, and have been, completely sincere. I want our family.

I place a phone call to Mike, and get the latest details on the happenings of the Hunter trial. I offer some insight to his questions and with his assurance, I feel confident that everything is under control. We briefly discuss the topic of hiring either a summer law student or possibly a first-year clerk, but make no definite plans, only deciding to discuss the topic further upon my return. With a promise from him to update me on Monday regarding the case, we end the call.

Once I finish the final necessities for our evening, I make a stop at the cottage. It sits on the far outskirts of my parent's property, nestled among the fir trees. The cottage is not a large place by any means–holding only two bedrooms–but that simply adds to the romance of it. Its rock stone walls are covered with honeysuckle vines that climb up one side and across the flat, wooden shingles. Low-cut roses line the gravel walkway that leads from the drive to an arched wooden door.

Inside, the low ceiling with its exposed wooden beams, floors made of wide-plank aged fir, and walls of mosaic stone, add a fairytale atmosphere. In the left corner of the living room stands a beehive fireplace that's flickering a warm glow across the walls. Along a half-wall to the right, that offers a view of the kitchen, stands staggered groupings of candles in varying heights waiting to be lit. A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth.

_Perfect._

In the kitchen, I place my purchased items on the counter and meander down the hallway to the master bedroom. The windows have been cracked open, allowing the gauzy drapes to sway in the breeze. The walls are painted in a soft beige color and trimmed in white. Commanding the center of the room is a dark wood, king-sized bed covered in white linens. More groupings of candles line the tops of the dresser and one bedside table.

_Maybe we'll make use of this room tonight._

I drop my bag of clothes next to the chest of drawers and swiftly walk back towards the front of the cottage. I honestly don't need, nor want, to be thinking about trying to get her into bed. There are more pressing issues at this point, and while I know our sexual chemistry is strong, it's not why I am bringing her here.

I make quick work of the gift I plan to give her later and slip it into a tissue-lined box. It doesn't hold much at this point, but I hope that she understands the meaning behind it. I wish I had the ring as well, but that will have to be another time. I don't want to be too anxious either.

Grabbing a few more logs from the back stoop, I toss them into the fire and situate the screen. With one final check–feeling slightly nauseous with my nerves all over the place–I walk back to my car and drive the dirt path back across the property to my parent's home.

I have just enough time to shower and grab a small snack to hopefully quiet the swarm of butterflies in my stomach. My mother greets me in the kitchen with a reassuring smile. Why all of the sudden I am doubting myself, I am not sure, but it has me perturbed. She must sense my nervousness, because she places a mug of tea in my hands and pushes me along to a barstool.

"Breathe, son. Everything will work out as it should."

_I'm glad she's so confident._

I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding, and try to offer her a smile; though I am sure it comes across as more of a grimace.

"I can't…I think…" I take another deep breath and release it. "I feel like this might be my last shot at convincing her. What if I blow it?"

"Oh, Edward, sweetheart," she coos. "Bella loves you. There is no doubt in my mind about that."

"Sure, but is that enough? Somehow, I think she's been asking herself that same question." I take a sip, trying to allow the warmth to soothe me.

"That's a very real possibility; however, I think you're making a valiant effort with the plans you've made today." She pauses and smiles. "Just don't push her to make a decision right away. Give her time to process everything. Like I said, it will all work out. You'll see."

She stands and walks to the refrigerator, retrieving a plate of meats and cheeses, and sets them down in front of me. She pulls a box of crackers from the cupboard and sets them down as well before she says, "Now eat. You need something to settle that stomach of nerves before you begin your evening."

_Yes ma'am._

Suddenly–like an unstoppable freight train–Alice bursts through the kitchen door with Jasper hot on her heels.

_Oh, for the love of all that's holy._

"Hello, family!" she chimes while throwing a heated glare my way.

_Kill me now._

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

*peeks out from under the desk* IpromiseI'llmakeituptoyounextchapter!

The next 3.5 chapters are written, so hang on tight! Just as soon as they're beta'd…I'll get them in validation as fast as I can! xoxo

Let me hear what you think! xoxo


	13. Chapter 12 :: Show Me

**A/N:**

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! Love You! xoxox

Just read…I'm not tellin'! Nope…nope…you can't make me! ;)

(sigh) OK, OK, fine, fine…let's just say…you asked for it! That's it…that's all you get!

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><p><strong>Chapter 12 – Show Me<strong>

My head slumps to the cool surface of the marble countertop and I let out a groan.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Edward. You _know_ you're happy I'm here," Alice scolds.

_Actually, Pixie…I could do without your interference at the moment, but thanks._

A firm slap on my back startles me, and I lift my head to be greeted with the warm, blue eyes of Jasper. He and I have been best friends since junior high school; long before he dated, bed, and wed my sister. _Ew. _They are such polar opposites, too. He's calm, cool and collected, while she's like a Pomeranian on crack. How he puts up with her, I'll never know.

"Damn good to see ya, bro," he says with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I'd say the same, but that means also having to see 'yap-yap' over there," I tease, shifting my eyes to meet hers.

She huffs. "Whatever. You're lucky I haven't made good on my promise yet."

"Oh yeah? Promises, promises. You going to wave your fairy wand at me and turn me into a toad or something?" I mock.

"How about I show you, huh?" she counters.

"You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating," I come back with a chuckle that quickly dies in my throat.

She creeps slowly toward me, and I begin to second-guess my words when her eyes narrow and darken. I shift in my seat and swallow thickly.

_Shit. _

"Uh-hmm…Alice? Sis?"

She says nothing, only continues slowly stalking towards me. I cautiously slide off the barstool and position myself behind Jasper defensively. Her face has darkened to an eerie crimson color. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she had steam bellowing from her ears.

_Mayday! Mayday! Abort! Abort!_

"Dude, Jaz, make her stop," I whisper to him, crouching down behind his shoulders. The ass-hat has the audacity to fucking chuckle. She might be small, but I don't doubt she could hand me my ass on a silver platter.

"Come on, baby. You've scared him enough," he soothes, walking slowly toward her with his arms outstretched.

"You have a lot of nerve, _brother,_" she spats from over Jasper's shoulder. "After everything I've done for you in the past week? I fly all the way home from Paris to be here for _you,_ because God knows you can't seem to keep yourself in check, and you have the _nerve_ to mock me?"

I let out a deep sigh and comb my fingers through my hair.

_Shit. Okay, think, Cullen. You need to diffuse this time bomb. _

"I'm sorry, Pix. I was only messing with you. I'm really glad you're here, I've missed you," I say in attempt to appease her. Cautiously, I step in her direction. Jasper moves to stand behind her while gripping her wrists. Her menacing stare slowly softens with each step I take toward her. I tentatively place my hands on her shoulders while I flash her a crooked grin. "I really, _really_ missed you."

With that, she collapses into my arms. I freeze, unsure of what just happened and shoot Jasper a pleading look. Realizing she's only crying–and not going to castrate me–I pull her tight against my chest as her sobs rock through her.

"I'm s-still so mad at y-you."

"I know. But I'm working real hard to make things right, so you don't need to worry. Okay?" I say softly while running my hands up and down her back.

She nods against me and I'm pretty sure she just wiped her snotty nose on my shirt, but I manage to restrain myself from throwing her backwards. She clears her throat and looks up at me with a small, devious smile.

_Yeah, she totally just wiped her snot all over me. Little shit._

"I hate to cut this short, but I have plans; and apparently, now I also need to change my shirt," I say with a hint of annoyance. This only causes her to giggle as I walk away.

As I toss my shirt into the laundry, there is a soft knock on my bedroom door. Alice peeks her head in. "Edward?"

"Come in, Alice."

"Before you go, I wanted to talk to you," she says shyly. I nod and motion with my hand for her to take a seat on the bed while I rummage through my closet for a clean shirt. She knots her fingers together in her lap nervously, and I can't help but stare at her. She's _never_ this…calm.

"What is it, Ali?"

"She was lonely, Edward," she states out of the blue. I'm just slipping a shirt past my head, when her words make me pause. I wasn't prepared for _this_ to be what she wanted to talk about, and a sudden lump forms in my throat. She briefly glances up at me before darting her eyes back to her lap.

"I don't think you understand how it was for her. She was alone there, far away from her family and friends." She gives me a pointed glance. "Even Rose and Em were still an hour away."

"I –I didn't…make her move there. She works, too," I respond softly, yet defensively. "I know I worked a lot–" She snaps her head up and my words die off at her glare. I sigh heavily and shove my hands into my pockets.

"I didn't keep her locked away there. She has a car and her job, and she could spend her free time however she desired." I know as soon as the words leave my mouth, how selfish they sound, and I immediately want to take them back.

She groans in annoyance. "Seriously, Edward? She didn't _desire_ to spend her time with anyone else, or to do anything else. She wanted to spend time with _you_. You're a smart man. I hope smart enough to know that's a basic need in every relationship."

I run my fingers through my hair and rub my temples in an attempt to fight off an impending headache.

"Apparently, I'm still learning." I blow out a breath. "If it was so obvious to everyone else, why didn't anyone say anything?" My frustration is bubbling at the surface.

"_She_ _did_ say something. Somehow, I don't think it would have made a difference if anyone else did as well. You didn't even acknowledge it coming from her." Her face reddens with anger.

I don't respond. I can't. My voice is caught in my throat. I know all of this, but somehow hearing it from my sister feels like a punch to the gut.

"None of us, especially Bella, should have had to talk to you about spending time with her. You should want to do that all by yourself."

"Fuck! I get it, okay? Yes, I'm a douche, an ass, and a complete and total fuck-up! I get it!" I throw my hands up in exasperation. "I may have just lost the best thing that _ever _happened to me," I cry out as tears begin to spill over my eyelids. "But I am doing everything in my power to change all that. I can't _lose_ her. I can't. And I won't stop unless she sends me away. I won't stop trying to win her back."

I bend over, grab my knees and try to suck much needed air into my lungs.

_Fuck. I know, dammit. I know._

She's standing in front of me, gently placing her hands on my shoulders and trying to calm me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought, maybe, you'd like to know some thing's that she may not tell you."

"I don't need this right now, Ali. Please, just…go. I need to leave soon, so please…just go so I can pull myself together," I beg with a surprisingly relaxed tone.

I watch her feet falter before they turn and walk out of my room. I walk into the bathroom in hopes of pulling myself together. I cannot let that sudden little tirade ruin my mood for tonight.

_What the fuck? I didn't need that shit. Always meddling._

xxx

I really miss my truck. This tiny ass rental car is severely grating my nerves. It handles like crap, especially on these rainy streets. _Pussy-ass car. _When I finally pull up in front of Charlie's house, the rain is coming down in buckets. This isn't the alarming part however; it's the rusty VW Rabbit parked behind Bella's Volvo and Charlie's missing cruiser, which catches my attention.

I shake off the uneasy feeling and ready myself for the cold and wet, as well as the inevitable anger. My feet slosh through the swampy earth as I sprint towards the front porch. I can vaguely hear the sound of Bella's laugh followed by a deep baritone muffled sound, and it causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. I run my hands through my hair, shaking out the water, and knock on the door. I take a few deep breaths, making an effort to gain my composure, as I hear heavy footsteps headed to the door. It swings swiftly open, and it's all I can do to contain a growl that struggles to erupt.

_Jacob. Fucking. Black. Speaking of pussies…_

_Seriously? Could this day get any fucking worse?_

He leans his massive, steroid-looking, copper-skinned body against the doorframe and crosses his arms in an obvious attempt at a threatening manner. His deep black eyes are narrowed and his lips form a scowl, which I am positive mirrors my own.

"Edward," he grunts in a low and obnoxious tone.

"Let me in, Jake," I growl back, not backing down in the least.

_I don't have the patience for this bullshit._

He snorts. "Why should I? So you can ruin her some more?"

_Cock-sucking, piece of shit._

_Deep breath, Cullen. Don't kill him._

"Mind your own business and let me in." I take a step forward causing him to straighten up and block the doorway. I clench my fists at my sides and stand nose to nose with him as our eyes lock in a heated stare down.

"She _is_ my business," he growls.

_I'll kill you, dog. _

"Move, Jacob. Now," I'm seeing red and gritted my teeth.

"Knock it off, Jake," Bella says from the other side of the door. From my peripheral I see the door swing open wider, and Bella moves into view.

Finally relenting–because let's face it, she owns him as well–he moves to the side, and I walk through with a smug smile. Managing to finally break from the intensity, I turn to face Bella. She looks beautiful, as always, but I can tell that she has been crying which does nothing for my anger management at the moment. I step in front of her and brush my knuckles over her cheek. She sighs and blinks heavily before I press my lips to her forehead.

"Hi," I say, looking down into her eyes and taking her hand.

"Hi," she replies softly. She watches my eyes for a moment before turning to the pup. "Thanks for the talk, Jake."

_Focus on her. Focus on her._

He scoffs, "I'm _always_ here for you, Bells. You know you can always count on _me._"

_Do. Not. Kill. Him._

"Unlike _some _people," he continues in a menacing voice.

The last thread of my control snaps and my fist meets his face. I feel bones crunching; whether they're his or mine, I'm not completely sure. He stumbles backwards, blood pouring from his nose, and I vaguely hear Bella scream as I land another shot to his abdomen. Unfortunately at this point, I'm too far-gone. All my frustrations of the day pour into every swing. To his credit, he recovers quick enough to land a few shots of his own, and the next thing I know, we're out the door, down the steps and rolling around in the muddy yard.

"Fuck you, Cullen!" he screams, landing a jab to my ribs.

"I'll kill you, you mother-fucker!" I growl, managing to wrap him up in a headlock and gaining the upper hand.

"Edward! Jake! STOP!" Bella screams. "Stop! Please stop!"

Somehow, this time it registers to both of us that she is standing in the yard – drenched by the pouring rain–visibly shaking and crying. I have Jacob practically sitting in my lap with my arms wrapped around his head and neck, both of us taking deep, haggard breaths. He stops struggling as we both focus on her. I can taste the salty, bitter flavor of blood in my mouth and run my tongue along my now split bottom lip. I hiss, release the dog, and shove him a good three feet in front of me where he lands on his hands and knees and is still gasping for air. _Looks just like the fucking dog that he is. _I struggle to my feet and wince as a shooting pain sears through my ribs. My once bandaged hand is again split open, bleeding and covered in mud.

_Fuck!_

I don't even look at Bella as I take the opportunity of my position to kick my foot into Jacob's side one final time. He falls over with a thud and a moan, grasping tightly to his side.

"Edward!" Bella screeches from somewhere behind me.

I crouch down next to him. "Next time, I _will_ end you," I growl before I rise and stalk to the car. Bella screams my name again, but I don't look back. The adrenaline is still pulsing through my veins, and I know I am way too fucking pissed to have any sort of rational conversation with her. I don't even _want _to look at her right now for fear that we'll both say or do something we'll regret.

I'm back in my parents' driveway before my breathing has returned to normal and my body has calmed down.

_I cannot believe that shit just happened._

I make a not-so-graceful entrance through the front door and am surrounded by my mother and father almost immediately. Jasper and Alice both look on with shocked expressions. I can only begin to imagine what they must be seeing when they look at me.

"Oh my…Edward…what happened to you?" my mother asks as her eyes fill up with tears. I just shake my head.

My father leads me down the hall to his study and pulls out his medical supply bag. I hardly notice as he sets about cleaning my wounds until he pulls my hand up and douses it with antiseptic.

"Fuck!" I cry out at the pain.

"Just hold still, son. I need to get this one cleaned up and re-stitched. It's in the worst shape." My mother enters with an icepack and towel, placing it over my left eye. I let out a heavy sigh and attempt to fight back tears.

_Dammit! This is not how this day was supposed to turn out. _

Moments later, my hand is cleaned and stitched…again. I have a butterfly bandage over my left eye, as well as on my bottom lip. I wander into the living room and slump onto the couch. I lean my head back and hold the icepack to my face. I feel the couch dip as my mother sit beside me, gingerly resting her hand on my thigh. She hands me an open bottle of water and two pain pills. I eagerly drink half while I swallow them down.

"Edward, what happened?" she asks, this time more firmly.

"Jacob," is all I manage to say.

"What about _Jacob_?" Alice asks from across the room. I can hear the sadness and anger in her voice.

I huff. "Jacob was there when I went to pick up Bella." My head is fucking pounding now that the adrenaline has finally worn off, and I feel like passing out.

My mother gasps softly. "Oh, Edward. What did you do?"

I snap my head in her direction. "What the fuck, mom? Why does it have to be me that started it? You didn't hear the bullshit that he was spewing."

"Watch how you speak to your mother, Edward," my father scolds.

"Sorry," I offer with a sigh. She pats my thigh.

"So, am I to presume that Bella witnessed this….this childish act between you two?" she asks, again with "the look".

My head falls back to the couch as I let out a heavy sigh. "Yes."

"And?" Alice asks.

"And what? I had my say, I kicked his ass, and I left."

I hear Jasper attempt to muffle a laugh with a cough, and I smirk.

"You _left?"_ Alice shrieks.

I manage a nod.

"Jesus, Edward. You really _are_ an idiot. You didn't even _talk_ to her? You just _left?_" her voice rising with each word.

_Fuck! How did this day turn out like this?_

I lift my head to find three pairs of disappointed eyes staring back at me, and one pair dancing in amusement. "I'm going to go lie down." I rise and make my way to my bedroom. I quickly strip off my now bloodstained, muddy and torn shirt, toe off my shoes and slide down my pants. I leave them all in a pile where they fall and collapse onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow.

_Fucking Jacob._

Some time later, there is a knock on my door. To my surprise, or maybe not, Jasper pokes his head in. I attempt a wave for him to come in, but it's more like a lift and fall of my arm. He closes the door and walks to the edge of the bed.

"So?" he asks.

I roll to my back and look over at him. "What?"

"How'd it feel to finally punch that asshole in his face?" he asks with a smirk.

"Fucking great," I reply with a laugh.

His tone turns serious. "Probably wasn't such a smart idea to have it out in front of Bella though, huh?"

I groan. "I just made everything a thousand times worse."

He nods.

"Tonight was my shot at making things right with her. But dammit! That _fuck_…he just had to go running his mouth. I couldn't just stand there and let him get away with it."

He nods again. "Maybe just this once you should've, man. I mean, going all 'caveman' in front of Bella?"

"Don't come in here and fucking defend him, Jaz." My anger is rising again.

"I'm not defending _him_. I'm just trying to help you see things from a different perspective."

We're both silent. I can't believe this shit happened today. I should have known better than to let Jacob goad me. I shouldn't have let him get the best of me. Especially, not in front of Bella.

_Piece of shit._

"Anyway, I thought I'd let you know that Bella's downstairs, and she's pretty torn up."

I cover my face with my hands. "Fuck. Does she even want to see me?"

"Well, as dashing as I may be, somehow I don't think she came over to see me," he replies with a chuckle.

Shit. He's right. She's here. She came! Maybe I haven't fucked things up as bad as I think. Or, maybe she's here to tell me she never wants to see me again. Maybe it's really over this time.

_Goddammit!_

"How is she?" I ask as I sit up and swing my legs off the side of the bed.

"Like I said, she's pretty torn up." He pauses a beat. "I'd say you have a whole hell of a lot more work to do."

I groan and drop my head into my hands, resting my elbows on my knees.

"Clean yourself up and then come down and talk to her. You owe it to her," he says and then leaves the room.

I attempt to comb my fingers through my hair, but it's full of blood and mud. I'm not sure how I manage it, but I take a quick shower with one hand and do my best to keep my face from getting wet.

_Genius, Cullen. Real genius. _

I throw on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt and head downstairs. It feels like the walk-of-doom, to be honest. The living room is surprisingly quiet when I enter. Bella is nestled between my mother and Alice on the couch. Carlisle is resting forward on a chair adjacent to them, while Jasper stands behind Bella at the back of the couch.

_Shit. They are surrounding her like I'm the enemy._

I exhale shakily and shove my hands into my pockets. Bella's face and nose are blotchy and red, and her eyes are puffy when she looks up at me.

_Idiot._

I squeeze my eyes closed and bring my fingers up to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"We'll leave you two alone, dear," my mother says to Bella before kissing her on the cheek. She stands and turns to me, patting me gently on the arm before leaving the room. The rest file out behind her, but not before I receive another glare from Alice.

"Um…" I start, but really have _no_ idea what to say as I stare at the floor.

She's shaking uncontrollably, and has her arms wrapped around her midsection.

"Why?" she whispers.

"I–I don't…know." _Brilliant response._

She sighs, then stands from the couch and begins walking towards the front door.

_Stop her, you idiot!_

"Bella, wait. Please…please don't leave," I plead moving immediately towards her. She stops but keeps her back to me.

"I'm…fuck…I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for letting myself get out of control like that in front of you. Just…please don't leave. Not again." She turns to face me, void of any emotion.

"What else?" she questions.

_Huh?_

"I'm not sure I understand."

"So, you're not sorry for acting like a child and breaking Jake's nose?" she grills me.

_Hell no, I'm not! I broke his nose? Fucking awesome! _

_Don't smile. Don't smile._

"Bella…I…no, yes…" I take and release a deep breath. "Am I sorry I hurt him? No. Am I sorry you had to be there to see it? Yes, of course. But I won't apologize for defending myself. None of this shit is his business, and he had no right to try and stick his ass where it doesn't belong."

She merely stands there, glaring at me. The uncomfortable silence is back, and I fucking hate it. I'm stewing and I am sure it's obvious to her. I don't want to fight with her; I wanted this night to be perfect, but I know it's all gone to hell in a hand basket.

"You need to get over the fact that Jacob came over today. There's no reason for you to have gotten so mad about that," she states determinedly, poking me with one finger in my chest.

_Fucking hell, Bella. How can I not be mad? I hate that mongrel._

If Jacob were only just a friend, I wouldn't have slammed my fist into his face repeatedly. But he's not _just her friend_. He's the man that took her virginity. He's the man that continuously professed his love for her the entire first year we were together. He's _her Jake._ I'm sure he's gloriously happy to see that I have successfully fucked things up between us. Despite the fact that he now has a girlfriend; there is no doubt in my mind that he's just waiting for the right time to swoop back in and prove to her that I'm a piece of shit, and he can take better care of her.

_Fuck. My. Life._

"Do you want to be with me, Bella? Do you want me to keep trying to make things better? Or do you want to be with _him_?" My voice is surprisingly steady and calm.

_You're an idiot! What the hell is wrong with you?_

Her mouth drops open as her eyes widen and fill with tears. "Shit. I'm sorry." I reach out and pull her into my arms.

"Why do you keep saying shit like that? If I wanted to be with Jake, I never would've broken up with him. How can that even be an issue for you?" she asks with a sob.

_Keep it up, Cullen. You're on a fucking roll tonight._

"I'm sorry. I really am. It's been a long fucking day. It started out so great and I had everything planned out so perfectly…I just…I'm sorry." I kiss the crown of her head.

_The asshole just had to keep running his damn mouth._

She nods, but pulls away from me, crossing her arms once again.

"You need to understand something, Edward, and I said the same thing to Jake; I am _not_ some prize to be won. I love both of you, but I am _in_ _love_ with you. You, you idiot! So, the two of you can get the fuck over yourselves and stop your little pissing contest. I _don't_ want to be with Jake…and at the moment, I am beginning to question if being with you is even right anymore."

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_

I hang my head in defeat and tears prick my eyes. "Can we just start the night over? Please?"

She sighs and I raise my eyes to hers. The storm of emotions raging in hers fucking kills me. I reach out to her once again, letting her decide whether to close the gap between us or not. She does, timidly.

_Thank fuck._

I smother my nose into the top of her head and hold her as tight as I can without hurting her. It causes my ribs to scream out in pain, but I swallow it down. I don't want to let her go for any reason. We stand folded together for a few moments, both regaining our composure. I need to get this shit back on track.

_I have this night planned out and I am not about to let him fuck it up. _

"Bella, can we get out of here?"

"Yes," she responds sheepishly.

I guide her, by the small of her back, out the front door. She goes to grab her bag from the front seat of her car and I stop her.

"Let's take the Volvo. I hate that piece of scrap metal," I observe. She drops her keys into my hand and then slides into the passenger seat.

xxx

When we arrive at the cottage, I park and jump out to open her door. I guide her swiftly up the walkway and through the front door out of the rain.

"Where are we?" she asks in wonder as she looks around the room.

"It's my parent's cottage. They don't come out here much. I just wanted us to have some time alone, so Esme let us use it," I explain with less than stellar enthusiasm.

She nods and wraps her arms around herself as she takes in more of her surroundings. I add a few more logs to the fire and set about lighting the candles around the room. Needing more time to deal with my haggard emotions, I move to the kitchen and begin prepping the meal Esme made for us. She finally makes her way to the breakfast bar and quietly sits on a stool. I make up two plates, sliding one in front of her with her silverware, and pour two glasses of lemonade. I really want a fucking beer, or some Johnny Walker on ice, but if she can't drink, then neither will I.

As I slide up next to her at the bar, I can feel the tension rolling off my back in waves. I take a deep breath in hopes of settling, but I can't shake it, and it's pissing me off even more. I shake my head and choke down a mouthful of food; I suddenly have no appetite.

"Please talk to me. Somehow, I don't think this dead silence is what you envisioned for tonight."

She's right. I need to snap the hell out of it. I look up to meet her eyes. They're so sad and confused, and I mentally kick my own ass.

"I'm not mad at you," I say, my voice lacking any sense of emotion.

She huffs and continues to pick at her food. I shuffle the food around, but eat no more.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know I've been saying that a lot lately, so the words probably hold no meaning for you anymore…but I am. I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. He's just…" I stop myself. I don't even want to talk about him, and I am not about to start throwing out insults. It will only piss her off even more.

She nods while staring down at her plate. "I'm sorry, too. We just got to talking, and I didn't realize what time it was, and I…I'm sorry for upsetting you."

I turn towards her and lift her chin forcing her to look into my eyes. "_You_ did nothing to upset me. Let's not let him ruin our night, okay? Please?" Her eyes dart back and forth between mine as she nibbles on her bottom lip with a nod.

_Damn, sexy-ass woman. You're trying to kill me._

Her brow furrows and she reaches her delicate finger up and gently traces it across my lip. Her other hand moves to the cut above my eye, where she does the same. She moves off her stool to stand between my knees and then presses her lips, ever so softly, to each wound. I wrap my arms around her tiny waist. I can feel her breaths become shaky as she moves down the side of my face, leaving behind a path of tender kisses.

She stands back and studies me with her hands on my cheeks. "Your poor face," she murmurs.

I shrug my shoulders. "You should see the other guy," I quip with a smirk.

She frowns and rests her hands on my shoulders and her forehead to mine. "I did."

We both sigh. I rub small circles on her lower back with my thumbs and relish in the feel of her in my arms. Eventually, she leans her head back and gazes into my eyes. I follow the movement of her mouth, as she bites on her damn bottom lip again. I pull it free with my thumb and move forward to capture it between my own.

"You _really_ need to stop doing that. You're going to bite it off one day," I whisper against her mouth.

She presses her lips to mine firmly, and I ignore the sting as our lips move together. She lets out a small sigh and it goes straight to my groin. Her fingers weave into my hair and it's all I can do not to throw her down on the countertop and take her. _Mine._

She pulls back and gasps for air, and I move my assault to her neck. "Bella," I moan softly as she begins tugging on the hem of my shirt, and I wrap her hair in my hand. I move to kiss and nip down her throat and across her collarbone.

_Shit. Make her stop. We should stop. _

Her fingers brush lightly across my chest, and it lights a fire in my stomach. "We need to talk," I whisper against the hollow under her chin as she traces lines across my abdomen.

_Fuck. We really need to stop._

I grip her hips tightly and she whimpers before sucking my earlobe between her teeth. That's all it takes before we're racing down the hallway to the bedroom. We're a tangled mess of clothes and hands and lips and teeth before I realize that I am pinning her to the bed, clad in nothing but my boxers and her in a fuck-hot blue lacey bra and panty combo.

She's scratching her nails lightly up and down my back as our tongues assault each other. "We need to talk," I gasp, wrenching my lips from hers.

"Later," she breathes, and with a force I didn't realize her capable of, she flips us over and straddles me.

"Shit, Bella," I moan as she grinds her hips against mine. I grow impossibly harder as she writhes and sways above me.

_Goddamn, she's so fucking sexy. _

She sits up and reaches behind her, unclasping her bra. With a slow, seductive move, she slowly allows the straps to fall from her shoulders while I lay mesmerized beneath her. Cupping her hands over the fabric that covers her breasts, she leans forward and licks a trail from my navel to my chin, where she gently nips at it. It's such a fucking turn on that my hips involuntarily lift into her. As she sits back up, leaving the bra lying across my chest, her hands glide down to the waistband of my boxers. When her tiny hand slips below and wraps around my aching hard-on, realization slams through me and I tightly grip her wrist.

"Wait," I choke out and flip us back over. I squeeze my eyes closed to block out the beautiful sight of her breasts in my face and the feeling of her heat between the thin layers of fabric separating us. I pin her arms above her head and lay my forehead to hers.

"I really think we should talk," I say with a struggle.

_Seriously? You're seriously trying to cock-block yourself?_

"Jesus, Edward, stop trying to be all-noble and just fuck me already," she pants.

_Christ, she really needs to not talk like that right now._

"Bella, that's not why I brought you here," I explain as the pain rips through my chest. "I'm not going to–I didn't bring you here for this."

"I need you. It's been too long, and I just–I need you, Edward. Please?" she pleads with both her words and her eyes.

_Well, if I'm already going to hell…_

"God, baby," I say with a sigh and crash my lips to hers. What started out as desperate and needy, becomes slow and reverent. Keeping her hands pinned above her head with one of mine, I slide the other down to the top of her hip. I palm her delectable ass and then gently squeeze it before hooking my thumb under her lacey panties. She raises her hips and I slowly maneuver them down her legs.

Our kiss breaks, but our eyes lock as I glide my fingers across her slick heat. She whimpers as I ease first one, then two fingers inside and twist them around. Her feet slide up the sides of my hips and she locks her toes into the waist of my boxers, effectively pushing them down my legs.

_Fuck, that was hot!_

I withdrawal my fingers and suck them into my mouth. She pulls her plump bottom lip between her teeth once again and her entire body flushes. I hover over her, teasing her with the tip of my cock. The look of need and desire she gives me singes the edges of my soul. I can no longer stand the separation, so I slowly thrust into her, and then freeze.

_Oh, God. I'm home._

She nibbles on my shoulder and neck and whispers, "I love you" and I cry out that I love her too, as I start to move. Slow but forceful, pouring my heart into every movement, and meeting her thrust for thrust. I release her wrists and hitch her leg up over my hip to press even deeper. I can't get close enough. I lean down and kiss her with more passion than I know what to do with. It becomes too much as my tears spill over the brim.

Our eyes lock, green holding brown. Our mouths are just inches apart as we breathe each other in. I kiss her softly again, then return to the passionate gaze. The intense sensations begin to grow stronger and I can't hold back from moving faster, resting our foreheads together as both of us pant into each other's mouths. The hold she has on me is permanent and unbreakable. I can never let her doubt that again.

"I love you," I pant. "I love you more than I–oh, God." I groan and pant more. "Do you feel it? Can you feel my love for you, baby?" I ask, increasing the thrust of my hips. Tears are spilling from both our eyes as she lifts her head and captures my lips with hers. I lock my hands under her shoulders as her fingers dig into my ass. I still can't get close enough, and I know I'm not going to last much longer. It's too intense. I reach between us and flick my thumb across her swollen nub.

"Oh my gah–Edward!" she screams out, throwing her head back as her body lifts off the bed in ecstasy and her walls clench around me.

She pulls me right along with her, and I am chanting her name as if in prayer. I steadily slow my movements, while both of our bodies tremble. I can't bring myself to pull out of her, so I lie on top of her, brushing the hair away from her sweaty face and kiss her over and over again. I flutter kisses all over her face, her neck, and her shoulders.

"You're so beautiful," I whisper with a kiss to the tip of her nose. "I belong to you. Do you know that?"

"I love you," she says with a nod, then gently caresses my cheek while her other hand absentmindedly trails up and down my ribs.

We lay like this, for what could be hours, while our heart rates and breathing return to normal. Suddenly, her stomach growls, causing us both to laugh, and somehow in the back of my mind, I'm finally beginning to think we'll be okay.

**BPOV**

_Oh. My. God._ That was so…I don't even have the words.

Intense.

Magical.

Incredible.

Earth-shattering.

_Pregnancy sex rocks!_

Every touch, every taste, every movement was so reverent, that I couldn't help but cry; and so did he. I couldn't get close enough. I wanted to fuse our bodies into one.

_Holy fucking shit-fuck…that was hot! _

_I wanna do it again._

_Stupid, dumb, grumbling stomach._

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><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

Holy mother of God…that was…whew! Yes…lemons make me nerrrrrrvousssss! You're lovin' me now aren'tcha? ;)

So, umm…how about that roller coast of a chapter, eh? I got all hot & bothered by Angryward in the BD1 trailer...I had to come back and do some serious editing to this chapter for it. lol

Anyone else need a Xanax? ;) Leave me some love...I gave you some... :)


	14. Chapter 13 :: Don't Fight It

**A/N:**

Let's see what Edward has planned...shall we?

All the usual:

**Story Blog** (teasers, pics, songs & more) linked in my profile

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07 (keep me company!)

SM owns the characters; I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

**PTB Beta's: **TDS88 & VictoryLayne

* * *

><strong><strong>

**EPOV**

After I ensure that Bella–and the baby–are well fed, I lead her into the living room and set her down on the overstuffed pillows in front of the fire. She winces slightly as she reaches the floor, causing a wave of panic to ripple through me.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I squat down beside her and pull her hand to my chest. She covers her abdomen with her other hand, and the panic intensifies.

"It's nothing. I'm fine, don't worry," she soothes.

_Bullshit._

"Bella," I scold. "It's not nothing. Are you in pain?"

"No, really. I'm fine. I had a little cramping earlier after…you and Jake…well."

_Holy shit! I'm an idiot!_

"Do you–are you–shit, Bella! Why'd we do that…" I gesture with my hand towards the bedroom "…if you're in pain or, whatever?"

"Edward, stop. I'm fine. Carlisle checked me over. I didn't have any spotting, just some cramping. Please don't freak out. We're okay."

_Yeah, sure. Don't freak out. Have we met?_

"Maybe we should call the clinic," I offer softly.

She huffs. "I. Said. I'm. Fine. Will you please chill out?"

Flashes of angry brown meet my panicked green. How can she not take this more seriously? Though, I suppose if my father said she was fine, then she's fine.

"Are you sure we should be…you know…intimate? I think I'd feel better if we called the doctor. Really, babe," I voice as calmly as I can muster. Inside, I am freaking the fuck out, but I am trying to feed off of her calm demeanor.

She places her sweet little hand on my cheek as her gaze softens. "Baby, I'm fine. The cramps stopped, okay? Let's just enjoy tonight, and I will call the doctor tomorrow. How does that sound?"

I nod in resignation. I feel like a complete ass. Not only for causing her distress with the whole "Jacob" episode, but also for letting things go so far tonight. If anything happens to the baby…

I shudder at the thought before looking back at her.

"Stay right here. I have something for you, and it's the real reason I brought you here." I wink, causing her face to flush adorably; so I place a quick kiss on her cheek before I retrieve her gift.

If possible, she looks even more beautiful with the light and shadows from the fire dancing across her features. I settle behind her, pulling her between my legs with her back flush against my chest. It's difficult to keep my eyes and hands off of her, but she's wearing only my undershirt and her panties.

_Fucking focus, Cullen. She needs to rest._

I'm nervous about this gift, mainly because it's completely out of my element. I hope she understands the meaning behind it. I set the box in her lap and she eyes it carefully.

"So, I um…" I blow out a breath, and rub the back of my neck "…I may be pretty foolish most of the time, but I usually have the best intentions. I know I've been a real jerk lately, but hopefully…well, maybe you'll understand more when you open it," I explain, nodding my head towards the gift and wrapping my arms around her waist.

Bella holds it in both of her hands, and I rest my chin on her shoulder. I kiss her gently on the cheek and then lean back waiting for her to open it. My hands run absentmindedly back and forth across her thighs, before I clasp them together over her stomach once again. She carefully removes the lid and pushes aside the tissue paper. Her delicate brow furrows, and I can almost see the wheels spinning in her head as she tries to decipher the contents.

Inside lies a square, eight-inch, black, leather-bound album. She still looks clearly confused as she removes it. I hold my breath as she creaks open the cover. On the first page I have written,

"_No measure of time with you will be long enough,_

_But we'll start with Forever."_

I watch as her eyes begin to glisten and her breath becomes uneven. She turns to the next page, and affixed is a photo of us when we first began dating. She delicately traces over it with her finger. We had gone to a carnival in Seattle with Emmett and Rose. In the photo, she is on my back, her arms wound tightly around my neck, her legs firmly in my grasp at my waist, and the carnival in the background. The smiles on our faces are so bright and playful. I knew I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her, and it's evident in the photo. Beneath the photo I wrote,

"_Once upon a time…"_

Over the next several pages are photos of us throughout the last five years. A few from stops we made as we drove across the country to North Carolina, in front of our house after we signed the papers, fishing off of Johnnie Mercer's pier, on a paddle boat at Greenfield Lake, and playing on the beach in Wilmington. There are even a few from the professional session we had at the lake. They are all photos that I have always cherished, because of how real and happy we are in them. When she turns to the next page, there is a copy of the ultrasound photo, and beneath it I wrote,

"_All because two people fell in love."_

She gasps, covers her mouth with her hand, and a sob vibrates through her.

_Shit. This was not exactly how I expected this to go._

"Babe?" I rub my hands up and down her arms as she continues to tremble.

She closes the cover of the book, pulls it to her chest, and then turns in my arms to look at me. My stomach is rolling, and my heart is pounding furiously, but I do my best to mask it as I wait for her to say something.

"I…" she starts with a whisper "…don't know what to say."

I swallow hard, my nerves getting the best of me. "You don't have to say anything. That right there…is all the very best memories of us. I would be a mother-fucking fool if I let you get away."

"Maybe it's not entirely your fault." She wipes the tears from her face. "I can be pretty foolish sometimes, too."

I shake my head, and rest my hands on her bare legs. I refuse to let her blame herself for any of this. I know now that she tried to tell me many times how much she needed me, and I failed her.

"Please, don't do that. You know that the reason we are where we are right now is not your fault. I hold the blame for this, and I refuse to let you try and place any of it on yourself."

I cup her face in my hands and briefly press my lips to hers. She pulls back and smiles a watery smile at me before looking back at the album.

"This…this is so beautiful, Edward. Thank you," she says softly.

I shrug my shoulders. "It was the only thing I could think of to show you the value of what our life means to me."

It really is. I'm a simple man. I couldn't think of any other way to express her importance to me. Words weren't working, so I needed something visual. It's only something small, but the weight of its contents represents the memories of us that live in my soul.

"Obviously, the final pages are empty, but only because we have a lifetime to fill them with even more memories."

Bella nods minutely, her eyes full of unshed tears. She rests her head against my chest, and I gently comb my fingers through her hair.

"I should tell you one other thing," I whisper into her hair. "Aside from my foolishness…sometimes, I'm afraid you don't need me. Not the way I need you." She leans back and begins to protest, but I stop her by placing a finger against her lips. "I'm afraid I'll lose you again, but I also don't want to seem clingy."

She puckers, placing a kiss to my finger before moving it away. "You won't lose me," she whispers as her eyes dance back and forth with mine.

I nod, my gaze penetrating. "I'm telling you, so you know. I need you, Bella."

She drops the book to her side and launches herself into my arms. I fall back against the pillows as she straddles my legs, and her mouth assaults mine.

"I need you, too, Edward. I love you," she professes against my lips as she plunges her fingers into my hair.

"God, Bella…I love you so much," I whisper in return. I slide my hands under the lace of her panties and cup her ass, pressing her firmly against my already throbbing erection. My nose skims up and down her neck, and I both hear and feel her hum in response, while she nips and sucks beneath my ear.

_No. Cool your jets, Cullen._

I let my head fall back to the floor. "Bella, stop." I clear my throat. "You need to rest."

She sighs heavily and lays her weight atop me. I lightly trail the tips of my fingers up and down her back, trying to reign in my hormones. Slowly, I roll us over, laying her gently in the crook of my arm on the pillows, and I prop myself up on my elbow beside her. Bella brings her fingers up and tenderly traces my jaw.

"I just want to feel you. I miss you so much, Edward," she says faintly.

I rest my forehead to hers as the guilt surrounds me for the millionth time. My hand seemingly has a mind of its own, as it traces nondescript patterns over her navel. Her fingers reach the back of my neck, scratching lightly at my hairline.

_I suppose I can give her _some_ of what she wants._

Ever so slowly, I sweep my fingers up the side of her ribs to just beneath the swell of her breast. As I begin to move her shirt up, she reaches for the hem, and swiftly pulls it over her head.

_Christ!_

Again, the way the light and shadows fall across her creamy skin is fascinating; she's gorgeous. I brush my hand adoringly down her shoulder and across her collarbone, before leaning down to follow the path with my lips. Her breath hitches as she quivers under my touch. My hand moves to cup one breast, drawing small circles around her nipple, while my mouth moves to the other.

_Did they get bigger? Niiiiiiice._

Just as I begin to pinch and roll one with my fingers, and suck the other taut peak tightly into my mouth, Bella's entire body goes rigid.

She cries out, batting my face and hands away, "Ow! Holy shit! Stop!"

_Ow! Shit! What the hell?_

I scramble up onto my hands and knees above her. Her face is scrunched up in obvious pain, and she's cupping her breasts.

"I–I –I'm sorry. What did I do?" I rest back on my heels and try not to panic, as I watch her roll to her side cringing.

_Fuck! Call the doctor. Now, Cullen!_

"Bella, please, what's wrong?" I can hear the fear laced in my words as I thrust my hands into my hair, practically ripping it from the roots. She takes a deep breath and opens her watery eyes.

"I'm sorry…they just…hurt," she moans.

_Huh?_

"What? Your boobs?" I question as the adrenaline begins to fade.

She nods her head, her cheeks flush, and she screws her eyes closed again. I release a breath and wrap my hands around her wrists, pulling them to my chest. Her eyes meet mine as my panic fades away completely.

"You scared the fucking shit out of me," I note with a sigh.

"Sorry. That just _really_ hurt."

Our gaze locks for a moment before we both burst into laughter. It's a full-fledged 'tears in our eyes' type of laughter that causes my sides to ache.

"So, um…I guess this means they're off limits?" I question with a smirk.

She returns it with an incredulous look and the shake of her head.

_Fucking shame. They're nice and plump._

I clear my throat. "That's a real shame. They've definitely grown…sitting there all plump and juicy, just begging me to fondle them," I quip and drag my tongue across my lips.

"Edward!" she scolds, smacking me lightly on the chest.

I grab hold of her wrist with a devious look, and slowly lower my head to her chest, never breaking our eye contact. I poke my tongue out, and delicately circle it around one nipple as her breathing turns to heavy sighs. I close my eyes as I savor the flavor of her skin, mindful not to be too aggressive. As I close my mouth around her tightened peak and flick my tongue over it, she arches her back, pressing her chest further into my hand.

_Now we're getting somewhere. Just be gentle._

"…_She's an underground girl in an underground world…she never comes around she stays underground…"_

"Ugh. Ignore it," Bella whispered.

"…_After was a trip, she rides her lip…she's the coolest girl around, she's the girl from underground.."_

I dropped my head to her sternum. "Maybe it's important?"

"No. It's just Rose. I didn't talk to her today, so she wouldn't know we're together," she said with a sigh of resignation, skimming her fingertips over my shoulder blades.

I chuckle. "Does _she_ know her ringtone is _Blonde?_"

She shrugs. "It makes sense," she says with a "duh" tone to her voice.

"Dammit," she grumbles as I roll off of her and lay flat on my back. Bella rises to retrieve her phone from her purse, mumbling under her breath, sounding something like, "overprotective blondie."

**BPOV**

"Hey, Rose."

"Hey, sweets. Just checking to see how your day was."

I flop onto the couch and lay my head back; obviously the make-out session is over.

"Well, you want the good or the bad?" I ask.

"Uh oh. What happened? I thought things were getting better?"

"No…yeah, it is. Just a minor set-back?" It comes out more like a question. I'm unsure how to tell her about the fight with Edward less than five feet away. I lift my head to glance down at him. He's sprawled out on his back in front of the fire, shirtless with his arm thrown over his eyes.

_Damn, he looks yummy._

My eyes assault his form, taking in the definition of his chest and abs. I focus on the muscles as they flex and relax with each breath he takes. Slowly, I follow the line of his hips where his muscles form a V, disappearing below the waistband of his pants. I may have licked my lips.

"Bella? Hello? You still there? Bella!"

_Shit._

"Uh, sorry, Rose. I must have zoned out." I drop my head back again and close my eyes.

She snickers. "You think? So, are you going to tell me what happened or not?"

"Yeah. So Jake came over this afternoon after Billy told him I was in town."

"Really. How'd that go?"

"It was okay for the most part. Until…" I pause, weary of dredging up the painful afternoon. Rising from the couch, I wander into the kitchen, hoping to be out of earshot of Edward.

"Well, I sort of lost track of time and Edward showed up while he was still there."

"Oh, shit," she whispers.

"Yeah, it gets better. You know how Jake is. Basically, he provoked Edward and well…they fought…Edward broke his nose."

She gasps and then bursts into laughter. I hear her relay the story to Emmett, who begins to laugh–loudly–in the background.

"Rose," I scold.

"Sorry, sorry. That shit's just classic! You have to know, Edward's probably been waiting for the chance to do that for _years_." She giggled again.

"Yeah," I respond with a sigh. "That's not an excuse though."

"Well, anyway, so then what?"

"Honestly, Rose, its such a long story, and its been a long day. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm actually…"

Slowly, two familiar strong hands rest on my hips. The skin on my entire body prickles at the contact, as they begin to make their way from my hips around to my abdomen. My breath catches. Edward nuzzles his nose to the side of my neck, and begins placing hot, wet kisses beneath my ear.

"Uh…at the…um…"

_Oh my God!_

"Bella? You okay?" she asks, clearly worried.

I clear my throat as Edward slides his fingers beneath the elastic of my panties. My head falls back against his chest. "Uh, yeah. I'm go-good."

"O-kaaay? You don't sound like it. Where's Charlie? You're not going to pass out or something, are you?"

That snapped me out of my lust fog. "No! I–I'm fine. I'll call you back later. Okay, Rose?"

I don't give her the chance to respond as I disconnect the call and let the phone fall to the counter. Edward continues his ministrations, sliding his fingers down between my legs and sucking on the exposed skin of my shoulder.

"Jesus," I whisper.

"No. Edward," he says in a husky chuckle.

"I thought you said I had to rest." My voice matches his.

"You do. That doesn't mean I can't make you feel good, baby."

_Oh, yes please!_

My entire body trembles in reaction to his words. I can clearly feel his arousal brush against my ass as he nips his teeth along the shell of my ear. With a firm grip on my hip, he slides his one hand under my panties. His elegant fingers glide across my now soaked core, and I go weak in the knees. His thumb finds my swollen clit and he begins to circle it slowly. I feel the burn already beginning, like a taut rubber band, slowly stretching to the max. I bring my hands up, holding myself up with the back of his neck. The feelings he evokes in me are indescribable. I literally feel like I am burning for him.

Slowly increasing the speed of his thumb, he plunges two fingers swiftly into my dripping heat. The band snaps, and my orgasm instantly–and shockingly–burns right through me.

"Ohhhh…Eeed-warrrrd!" I scream out, panting as I lock my fingers together behind his neck to keep from collapsing.

"Fuck, Bella. Did you–just–God." He hisses into my ear, as my body vibrates and my knees threaten to give out. He pulls his thumb away and ever so slowly moves his fingers out and then back in.

_Seriously? How the hell did that just happen so fast?_

"You're so beautiful, babe," he whispers. "So _fucking_ beautiful."

I whimper as he continues to pump his fingers lazily inside me, drawing out the tremors of my climax. He moves his free hand up and cups my throat softly as he nibbles along the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

"Edward…oh, God," I whisper breathlessly, feeling his hips grinding at my backside and my stomach begin to coil, _again_. I unlock my fingers and bring them to his arms, managing to remove his hold on my neck and pull his hand from my crotch. I spin in his arms and crash my lips to his. He simultaneously opens his mouth to mine, and our tongues begin a heated dance of desire. I run my hands down the slopes of his chest and across the ridges of his abs, before slipping my hand beneath the waistband of his sleep pants. His hands twist into my hair as I grip his erection, eliciting a lust-filled growl from him as I slowly pump down and then back up his length. Using my other hand, I run it over the swell of his ass under his pants, and maneuver them down past his hips. I pry my lips from his, gasping for air, and slide my body against his, forcing him to back up to the counter. He pulls his hands from my hair, and presses them to the surface to support himself.

"Bella," he breathlessly moans.

I lock my gaze with his and slowly slide down to my knees, pulling his pants with me to his ankles. "My turn," I taunt with a wink. I'm relatively positive I heard him whimper.

_Good to know I still have the same effect on him that he has on me._

While slowly sliding my hand down his swollen cock, I poke my tongue out and lazily follow behind it, then back up, swirling it around the tip. Edward drops his head back and lets out a low moan. _Or was that a growl?_

When he lifts back up and looks down at me, I lock eyes with him once again before taking him as far in as I can, until I feel him hit the back of my throat. I wrap my hand around what doesn't fit.

"Jesus, fuck!" he groans through gritted teeth. While he wraps his hands softly in my hair again, I slide him almost completely out and gently suck and nip at the base of the head. His hips seem to move of their own accord, and I watch him struggle to prevent them from bucking. So, I give him what he wants, allowing him to fuck my mouth, while I suck, moan, and swirl my tongue around him.

"Gahhh! Bella! Shit, that feels…amazing! Fuck!" He pants, his teeth still gritted.

_Edward just became "Dirty-ward". Hot!_

It doesn't take long before I feel him begin to twitch and try to pull my mouth away. Not willing to relent, I squeeze his ass firmly in my free hand and hum around him as I force him all the way back in. He twitches wildly before I feel the warmth of his release begin to shoot down the back of my throat.

"Fuuuuuuuuck," he moans, pulling his hands from my head as his knees wobble, and he grips the edge of the counter to hold himself up. "Oh God, Bella."

My eyes travel up to his face–his eyes are heavily hooded and his breathing is ragged–while I take every last drop he gives, before swirling my tongue over his tip a final time, and then release him.

Inching up towards his face, pulling his pants along with me, I capture his lips with mine. He kisses me firmly, wrapping his arms around my body, before pulling back only slightly to whisper, "You're amazing."

I brush my lips across his again and let out a low laugh. "Not as amazing as you."

He cups my face in one hand and pulls our heads together. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This man, for some inexplicable reason, loves _me._ Completely.

I get it. I _finally _get it.

He showed me tonight with a simple, ordinary book, and filled it with visual representations of what _we_ mean to him. I _finally_ feel as though everything will be alright. _We_ are meant to be. I've always known that, I just needed to know that he did, too.

I won't push him away any longer. I'm not going to fight this anymore.

It's time to move forward.

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><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

Ah hum...two in a row...

Wanna get involved with the characters? Then what would you like to see Bella & Edward have? A boy or girl? I have a poll running on the blog, so go vote! I have ideas in store for either...curious as to what you'd like to see!

All right peeps...so, I hope, hope, hope you'll show me some love on this chap!


	15. Chapter 14 :: Run Interference

**A/N:**

Hello my lovely, awesome, wonderfully fantastic readers! In case you didn't catch that...THANK YOU! You're support and reviews of this story warms my soul! ** I love you to pieces!**

So, this chapter is part filler...part necessary. It'll give you a little more insight to Bella's character as well as Alice. If you read the teaser for this chap, you may have an idea how it's gonna play out.

I'm just going to leave it at that. :)

There was an inspirational song behind this chapter ~ Parachute: Kiss Me Slowly(youtube it! gah! so good!)

**All the usual:**

**Story Blog** (teasers, pics, songs & more) linked in my profile

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07 (keep me company!)

SM owns the characters; I just play in the sandbox. This you know!

**PTB Editing Beta's: **TDS88 & VictoryLayne (awesome chicks who are making me better for you!)

All right...on with the show...err...story! xoxox

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

So, in reality…forgiveness is easier said than done. Do I love Edward? Yes. Am I positive he loves me completely? I am now, yes. But, do I trust him not to break my heart again? Therein lies the question that I still cannot answer honestly.

This past weekend was nothing short of a fairytale. He really pulled out all the stops, and Holy Mother of God, our connection was as perfect as it always was. However, there is still that nagging thought in the back of my mind, and it just won't fucking go away.

_Can I completely trust him with my heart?_

On the surface, everything is perfect when we're together; but as the days pass, and I am alone with my thoughts, the uncertainty and doubts set in. I want so badly to move forward with our lives, but that apprehension is making it almost near impossible for it to become reality.

There is a small, but equally persistent, part of my brain that keeps forcing those doubtful thoughts and feelings in, and suggesting that possibly he doesn't love me quite as much as _h_e thought he did. I mean, if he did, wouldn't he have been more aware of the situation at home? Wouldn't he have been more aware of my pain? And because he wasn't…how do I trust him to be aware and prevent it from happening again?

_Shit. This is hard!_

It's Wednesday, and Alice and I have made plans to spend the day together in Seattle. She's nothing short of ecstatic about the baby, and I have a sick feeling it will be a long day full of shopping. Not that I mind shopping for the baby at all, but Alice's idea of shopping is sure to equal an eight-hour day of tortuous hell.

_Hell. No._

I step into my room from the bathroom, where I left her to attend to my morning routine. She showed up way too early for my blood, so I am taking my sweet ass time getting ready. I'm sure it's driving her insane, but too bad. I pretty much told her to sit down, shut up, and not speak until given permission. Yeah, thanks to my crazy, fucked-up, out of whack hormones, I can go from sweet to bitch in less than two point five seconds.

As usual, she's dressed to the nines in her dark wash jeans_,_ a red ruffled blouse, and a tan biker jacket with matching chunky heels. With a sigh, I move to the closet and pull out the only pair of jeans that still fit and a long-sleeved, purple scoop-neck tee. I stand in front of the mirror that resides in the corner of my room, gently running my hand across my abdomen. I still haven't fully processed the fact that I am going to be a mother, but the thought of the life that is growing inside of me spreads warmth all the way down to my toes. I'm fully prepared to see some sort of outward sign of this pregnancy, but so far, I only feel massively bloated. I grab a pair of socks and my low top Chucks. She'll live…if I'm spending the day walking around Seattle, I'm going to be comfortable.

Taking a deep breath, I pull a brush through my shower-dampened hair, before pulling it up in a messy bun at the back of my head. I catch a glimpse of Alice in the mirror. She is perched precariously at the edge of my childhood bed with a hopeful and excited look in her eyes.

Alice Whitlock is typically a gentler, yet more enthusiastic person than most. She hands out opinions just as frequently as Rose; I'd venture to say that Alice is far more dangerous though. She likes…no scratch that…she _loves_ to interfere. She has a mindset to "fix" people; only her ideas of others self-improvement are made according to her own personal viewpoint. Unfortunately, there are times when her plotting and meddling can be so completely overbearing, that I hesitate to confide in her. There are other times, however, when a girl just wants a friend's ear. She's nothing but perfect, when it comes to listening to me vent. It's the "sticking her nose where it doesn't always belong" that I could really do without. It's a fine line to walk.

Clutched delicately between her hands, is a small package wrapped in white paper, and tied with a soft green bow. I have taken massive steps to avoid acknowledging it. Gifts in general make me nervous, but gifts from Alice tend to be extravagant. The woman has entirely too much money, and while she doesn't flaunt it, she definitely tends to spend it…shall I say…frivolously.

"Okay, Alice, you may speak now?" I say as I turn from the mirror to face her.

"Oh, thank God! I am so excited about our day today, Bella. We're going to have so much fun. I wanted to take you to this little boutique that sells all kinds of adorable baby things and maternity things…and then I was thinking that we could probably go and pick out some stuff for the nursery. Have you thought about what colors you want? Or what about the furniture? I think the bedroom right across the hall from–"

_Fuck my life._

"ALICE! Stop!" I scream at her. _Christ, did she even take a breath?_

"Sorry, Bella. I've just missed you so much, and I am so excited that you and Edward are having a baby, and…" She stops and snaps her mouth shut as I plant my hands on my hips, and fire a glare at her.

"One, I missed you, too, and I'm really glad you're here; even if it isn't for the best of reasons. But I am, because I could really use my friend right now. Two, calm the hell down or I am kicking your bouncy ass out and going back to bed. Deal?"

She nods as a blush creeps across her face. She closes her eyes, and dramatically takes in and releases a deep breath.

When she opens them and finds mine, I ask, "Better?"

She nods again. "Yes, sorry. I just really feel like it's been forever since I've seen you, and I guess I got a little carried away about everything."

_Understatement of the century._

I chuckle at her and shake my head. "Let's get this show on the road, Ali."

"Okay, but first, I brought you something."

"You don't say," I tease her as she hands me the package. I shake my head at her again as I flip it over and over in my hands. It weighs more than I would have expected from its size alone.

She huffs. "Just open it, Bella. I know how you are, but when I saw it, I just couldn't help myself."

I quirk an eyebrow at her. "Really?" I ask sarcastically.

"Okay, fine. I can _never_ help myself when it comes to buying things. Whatever. Just open it, please."

Inside the white wrapping lays a blue box with "Tiffany & Co." embossed in silver. I gasp and my eyes pop wide open as I look at her beaming face.

_Holy hell! Tiffany's?_

"Shit, Alice. I can't accept this," I partially whine.

"Yes you can. Just open it," she firmly retorts.

I sigh and carefully remove the lid. Nestled beneath the white tissue paper is a five inch silver frame. It's obviously sterling silver, seeing as it _is_ from Tiffany's. Adorning the top left corner, is a small bow that looks embossed in the silver. It's stunning, but _dammit_, way too expensive. I just know it.

"Ali…"

"I thought you could use it for the ultrasound picture. You know…baby's first photo and all," she states softly, but proudly.

_Annnnd, cue the tears._

I begin nodding my head, softly running my fingers over the tiny bow. As I look into her eyes, I notice them shimmering with unshed tears as well.

"It's very beautiful. Thank you," I whisper.

She waves her hand dismissively. "Think nothing of it. Only the very best for my little niece or nephew."

I laugh out loud at that comment. "Alice, I'm fairly certain that your little niece or nephew could give two shits about gifts from _Tiffany's_." I pause in attempt to compose my emotions, and look back down at the frame. "But really, it's beautiful. The photo will look perfect in it."

She claps her hands together, then leaps up off the bed and hugs me close. When we break from it, we're both crying like overly emotional messes. I'm momentarily grateful that no one else is here to see this incredible display of female hormones.

"Seriously, let's get this show on the road. _Now._"

She giggles and loops her arm through mine as we leave my room and descend the stairs.

The lengthy drive to Seattle is the perfect opportunity to have the much-needed discussion. I'm desperate for another outside perspective, aside from Rose. She's been great, but my head is still swarming with doubts, and it's killing me. I don't want to have them, but they won't go away.

"Ali, I really need your help with something," I begin, glancing at her slightly before turning back to watch the road as we leave the city limits of Forks.

"Of course, Bella! Anything!" she responds, and I can tell from my peripheral view, she's already vibrating with excitement.

"Stay calm. It's not what you're thinking."

"I'm not thinking anything." I turn to look at her again with an incredulous look. She huffs. "Just spit it out."

"Well, you know how things went this weekend, right?"

"Yes, of course. You and Edward…ew…anyway, yes. You made up."

"Mostly, yes."

"Mostly?" she questions.

"Well, he really went out of his way to prove to me how much he loves me. I get it, I really, really do, but…I'm still having issues with trusting him." My eyes begin to prick with tears, and I blink hastily in an attempt to hold them in.

"Trusting him how, Bella?"

I exhale shakily. "Trusting him to not hurt me again. Trusting him to not go right back to the way he was if, and or when, we go back to Wilmington. How do I even _do_ that? How do I just willingly put myself in that situation again, and trust that he's not going to completely break me? Because, I swear to you…now…with this baby…it will absolutely destroy me."

I shake my head and take a deep breath. I should have let Alice drive, because once again, my tears are blurring my vision.

"Oh, sweetie," she coos, grabbing my right hand from the steering wheel and clutching it between hers.

"Trust is such a fragile thing." I nod as she continues. "Do you feel like this is something you just need more time with? Or do you think there is something more he could do?"

"God, I feel so selfish when you say it like that," I respond with a wet scoff. "I don't really know though."

We're both silent for a beat.

"Can you tell me how you felt the other night, when he gave you the book?" she asks softly.

"In a word? Loved. I mean, Alice, do you have any idea...it was just…" I can't even put into words the depth of feelings that simple book evokes in me.

"When you say it made you feel loved…do you trust that feeling?"

"Yes."

"So, you trust in his love for you. That's a good start, don't you think?"

"Sure," I answered hesitantly. She's quiet for a few minutes.

She sighs, and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "Bella, promise me you won't get mad?"

_Uh. No. That's always a loaded question._

I shake my head while pressing my lips tightly together. "Bella, just…I'm not trying to upset you…I just want you to answer me honestly. Okay?"

I glance over at her, and then quickly back to the road. "Fine."

She takes a few deep breaths, and I begin to internally panic. It's obviously a question that is weighing heavily on her, and the fact that she's hesitant to ask scares me.

"Do you…is there…" She pauses and groans in frustration. "Do you think it's possible that…maybe…_you_ don't _want _to work through this?"

I gasp. Loudly.

"Shit, Bella! I'm sorry. Really. I'm just trying to help. Trying to help you figure it all out. Like you asked."

Neither of us says anything for a while. I gently pull my hand from hers and place it back on the wheel. I know she only has mine, and Edward's, best interests at heart, but _damn._

"Alice. There is nothing that I want more, than to be with Edward…and our baby. The way that I feel about him…do I really need to spell it out? How do you feel about Jasper?"

"He's my soul mate," she states matter-of-factly.

"Exactly."

She nods in understanding.

"He's my Edward," I state with a shrug. Like that simple statement alone, should just make what I am trying to say obvious.

"Unfortunately, he hurt me. Bad. I have all these stupid doubts that keep swimming around in my head when I'm not around him. I know he loves me, but…" I let out a heavy sigh, and my grip on the steering wheel tightens.

"Do me a favor, Bella?" I nod.

"Stop with the 'buts.' Honestly, it just makes you sound like you're constantly trying to come up with an excuse to not completely forgive him." Her tone is slightly annoyed, causing me to turn and look at her again.

She shrugs. "I'm just saying."

_Well, fuck me. Is that what I am doing? Continuously making up excuses? Why?_

"Then tell me, Alice. How do I move past this? I want to. I really, really want to. But…" I pause and shoot her a sheepish grin. "I'm scared."

"Forgiveness is a start. I think you have to dig way down deep in your heart, and ask yourself if being with Edward is what you _really _want. Because if it is, then you _can_ move past the hurt and learn to trust in him again.

"I know my brother's not perfect, and he still has a lot to prove to you. But I also know how much he loves you, and how terrified he was when you left. I've never heard him like that before…ever." She sighs. "Ultimately, the decision is up to you. As much as it would break my heart if you decided that you can't move past this, I would understand, and I will be here for you regardless of what you decide."

I've never felt for anyone, the way that I feel for him. The thought of living without him makes my heart clench painfully. It devastated me to leave in the first place, but I had to get the distance. He hurt me.

_Dammit, Bella. Stop fighting it. _

As if on cue, my cell phone pings with a text message. Alice retrieves it from my purse, and asks if I want her to check it. I nod, and she smiles widely, before holding it up to show me the screen.

_**I love you baby. Hope you have a good time in Seattle. – E**_

I smile to myself and feel a rush of emotions pass through me. My thoughts immediately turn back to the weekend, and I replay all his words, touches, love…I need to stop overthinking, and just let it be. I need to find a way to make my head agree with my heart. He loves me, and he's trying so hard.

My head falls back against the headrest. "God, I'm such a bitch."

Alice giggles. "No, you're not, Bella. I can see your mind going a million miles an hour over there. It's what you do best, ya know? Overthink things? Just give him a chance. You and I both know he's trying really hard to make this up to you."

"Yeah, which is why I'm such a bitch. He deserves so much better than what I am giving him in return. It never made sense for him to love me."

"Seriously? You do realize the idiocy of that statement don't you?"

"It's true, Alice. Any smart woman would fall into his arms with all of the things he's done so far."

"Sweetheart, _you_ are the very best thing that has _ever _happened to my brother. He should be groveling like he is for your forgiveness, but you also can't make it too hard on him, Bella. You have to meet him halfway somewhere. I can't say that he'll hold out forever waiting."

_Shit. Traitorous tears._

We're both lost in our own thoughts the remainder of the drive. Or maybe, it's me lost in my thoughts and Alice giving me the space. She flips through the radio stations, and lands in the middle of a song playing. The lyrics just about send me over the edge.

_Don't run away…_

_And it's hard to love again,_

_When the only way it's been, _

_When the only love you know, _

_Just walked away…_

_If it's something that you want,_

_Darling you don't have to run,_

_You don't have to go…_

_Just stay with me, baby stay with me,_

The tears just continue. I need to get over this "poor me" bullshit. Badly.

_When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly._

xxx

The day has, thankfully, taken a very pleasant turn. We didn't talk much more about the conversation in the car. I think Alice is honestly giving me the space to work it out. We have had a blast eating, shopping and just overall spending quality time together. It definitely hasn't been as bad as I thought it may have been.

After a mouth-watering snack at _Three Girls Bakery_ in Pike's Place Market, we made our way over to the boutique that Alice was dying to see. It was a quaint little maternity and baby store, with probably more than anything you would possibly need or want for your pregnancy and baby. As we browsed around, I couldn't help but get excited at the thought of when I finally began to show, and wearing some of these adorable outfits.

Somehow, I managed to let Alice talk me into trying on a few different things. With my arms loaded, I set up in the dressing room, ready to start the fashion show. I busted out laughing when I saw the "pillow belly" they provide for you to strap on and get an idea how the clothes should look. I guess it's not a bad idea…but really? Some genius made a fortune on that thing!

I ended up purchasing a few cute tops, pants, jeans and a few dresses. As we left that store and walked around the University District, Alice was lost in deep texting mode with someone on her phone. Figuring we weren't going to have an in-depth conversation any time soon, I pulled out my phone to call Edward. Unfortunately, it went straight to voicemail, so I hung up, not really having anything of importance to say.

Suddenly, Alice started squealing and bouncing on the balls of her feet as she stared at her phone.

"What the hell, Alice?"

"Sorry, sorry! But, oh my God! Eeeee!"

_Shit._

"Alice! Calm the hell down! What are you going on about?" I asked as I stepped closer and tried to ignore the dirty looks of passersby.

"I'm just _so_ excited! I can't believe–" She stops and looks at another text on her phone.

She rolls her eyes, huffs, and stomps her feet like a petulant child, then mumbles under her breath, "Then why the hell did you tell me in the first place?"

_Um…okay?_

"Alice? Everything okay?"

"Huh? Yeah…just…gah!" She huffs again. "Um. Did I show you what I bought my idiot brother at the last place?"

Well, if that wasn't a diversion…

"No, let's see," I offer, hoping to change her sudden sour mood.

She digs around in the one of her _many_ shopping bags, and pulls out a stuffed donkey. A sly smile breaks across both of our faces, before we erupt in laughter.

"Get it? It's a jack-ass!" She says though her giggles. "Fitting, wouldn't you say?"

It is hilarious, while maybe not completely necessary, still hilarious never the less. I cover my smile with my fingers, and nod.

"Oh! I want to make one final stop before we head back. Sound good?" she asks.

The final store is a high-end fashion boutique, where she adamantly insists that I need to buy a new dress. After tossing a few different ones at me to try on, she has currently decided that the navy blue one I have on is "the one."

_For what, exactly?_

"Alice, first of all, what the hell do I need a dress like this for right now? And second, you do realize it's not going to fit me much longer, if ever again. _And_, seriously…I can't afford all of this!" Not only is the dress over a grand, but she's also paired it with black four-inch booties and a black leather handbag.

"Just trust me, okay, Bella?"

Did I forget to mention…it's _all_ Gucci. Of course. Before I can even protest, she whips out her employee black card, hands it to the sales lady, and fucking buys _all_ of it.

"Alice! _What_ are you doing? I can't–you're not–please. I don't need any of this."

"Hush, Bella. It's already done."

_Holy Christ! This is all easily over five grand!_

My jaw is likely on the floor, and my eyes are bugging out of my head.

_This is ridiculous!_

I compose myself, and narrow my eyes at her. Why do I suddenly get the feeling she's up to no good? This is Alice, after all.

Always interfering.

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><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

All right...so...there ya go! Whatcha think Alice is up to? ) She may not be _directly_ interfering...but she'll find her way.

Also, don't forget to vote for the sex of E/B's baby...you still have some time left before I post that chapter! Go to the blog, it's on the top left! :)

xoxox

I have a story rec for you that I am completely addicted to! It's a Hunger Game/Twilight crossover by ClosetReader...and don't worry, you need not have read THG to understand her fic (I haven't)! It's a GREAT read, and she's already part-way thru the sequel! READ: The Hunger Games: Twilight Style & New Moon Uprising (this is pt2) here on FF!


	16. Chapter 15 :: Questions and Answers

**A/N: **

Allrighty folks...I do believe this is a chapter you have been waiting for! You're all wonderful! Your support and love of this story means **SOOO** much to me! So, let's get on with it! :)

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><p><strong>All the usual:<strong>

**Story Blog:** (teasers, pics, songs & more!) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07 (come chat with me!)

SM gets the priviledge of owning the characters; I just play in her sandbox! This you know!

**PTB Editing Beta's: TDS88 & VictoryLayne**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15 – Questions and Answers<strong>

As my consciousness grasps hold of me–much too early for a Saturday morning I might add–I glance out the window to see the misty grey sky just barely beginning to brighten with the start of the day. I huff and pull the covers up over my head, praying for sleep to reclaim me. Last night, Edward joined Charlie and me for dinner at the diner. It turned out to be a very enjoyable evening with my two favorite men.

Surprisingly, Charlie was very welcoming to Edward, and I could sense his hope that we will work things out. It almost feels like they have a newfound comradery too; it's both heartwarming and strange. Not to say that Charlie has ever hated him, but honestly, he wasn't very pleased when I broke up with Jake, so I believe the "antisocial" attitude he used to have towards Edward stems from that. Last night was…well…different. I just can't put my finger on what changed.

Tonight, we have a date. Edward informed me before he left last night to be ready by three. Then, of course, he also mentioned that Alice would be by prior to him. Which could only mean…"an Alice make-over party".

_Yee-freakin'-haw._

I startle at the sound of a soft tapping on my bedroom door. "Not now, dad, it's too early," I mumble from my spot still under the covers.

There's no response, only the soft tapping again. _Dammit._ I huff, throw the covers off, and overdramatically stomp to the door. I swing it open, fully prepared to tongue-lash my father…there's no one there.

_Huh?_

A sudden, child-like giggle echoes from the hallway towards the stairs. With my brow furrowed in confusion, I slowly step out of my room and walk towards the landing. "Dad?" I call out as I lean over the rail and stretch to look downstairs. There's no answer, just the sound of pattering feet across the wooden floors, and the giggle comes again.

_The hell?_

"Hello?" I call out as I feel my panic begin to rise. _Who the hell is in my house?_

I take one step down and firmly press my back against the wall. My hands begin to shake as I brace them along the wall, and sweat breaks out across my forehead. The house is silent again, save for the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. Another step down and the wood creaks under my weight. The giggle echoes, followed by the pattering again.

_Shit. What the fuck is going on? _

Another step down, then another, and I can see out the window beside the front door. The sky is brightening more with the dawn of the day.

"Dad? Is that you?"

The sound of the back door slamming closed reverberates through the house, causing me to jump out of my skin, and I lose my balance. Suddenly, I'm falling. I desperately reach out for the banister as my feet fly out from under me. I land hard on my right hip, and scream out at the pain. I feel the hot tears roll down my cheeks as I pinch my eyes closed and curl to my side.

_Fuck! Shit! Fuck!_

The sound of swiftly moving, heavy footsteps comes from the back of the house. I hold my breath to quiet my sobs and listen as they come closer.

"Bella?" The velvet voice calls to me in a whisper. My eyes fly open, only to be met by a terrifying sight. It's Edward, yes, but it's his eyes. _Those_ eyes.

_No, no, no! God, no! _

His golden eyes flash with worry, which quickly turns to anger, as he takes a slow menacing step towards me.

"Edward," I choke out as I try to scramble backwards up the stairs.

"You did it _again_, Bella," he snarls, still moving closer.

"No, Edward. I–"

"Why, Bella? WHY?" he shouts, and I cower at the volume. My eyes widen, and I am frozen in fear.

"Look! Just look at what you've done!" he screams again, pointing at the stairs below me.

Blood. So. Much. Blood. I'm sitting in it. It's running down the steps like a waterfall. It's washing over his feet, and pooling on the landing.

_Oh my God. _

_Wake up, wake up, wake up. This has to be a dream. Wake. Up!_

A high-pitched, blood-curdling scream fills the air, but it's not mine and it's not his. Both of our heads turn in the direction of the sound, before he looks back at me. His eyes are filled with hate and loathing; I can't breathe from the pain that look causes me.

The screaming stops and he leans in close. His nose almost touching mine, his breath hot and chilling across my skin, his lips curled into a snarl.

"You make me fucking SICK!" he spats, then turns and storms out the front door. The sound of it slamming closed in his wake causes me to jump.

I jerk upright in my bed.

_Thank fucking God! What is it with that damn dream!_

My breath is coming in quick and shallow pants, while my heart is racing. The clock beside my bed reads just after five AM.

_That's the same time as the last dream. What the hell?_

I scramble out of bed and unplug my cell phone from its charger, then slide myself back under the covers. I just need to hear his voice.

"Bella? Is everything all right? It's early, sweetheart," he answers, his voice thick with sleep.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just…I needed to hear your voice." My own is shaky and weak.

"I'm here, baby. What happened?"

I sigh. His voice is already working its magic of calming me. "It was just a stupid nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"NO! I'm sorry. No, I don't. It just really freaked me out." In fact, I am still shaking.

"Baby, are you having nightmares a lot? I seem to remember you having one the night I got here, too. Maybe we should talk to the doctor about them?"

I pull my comforter closer under my chin. "Can you just come over? I just need you to hold me. Please?"

I hear the rustling of his sheets through the phone as he moves around. "I'll be there in ten minutes. I love you."

xxx

The next time I wake up, I'm safely wrapped in Edward's strong arms. Our bodies are aligned chest to chest. He has me tightly in is embrace, his chin resting on top of my head, while I am curled into the crook of his neck. His scent surrounds me, and I take a deep breath letting it flow over and soothe me.

"Did you just sniff me?" he asks with a sleepy chuckle.

I nod unashamed with a smile and bury my head further into his neck. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asks, pulling me impossibly tighter to him.

"For coming over and making me feel safe again," I respond, pressing my lips to his pulse point.

"I'll do anything to make you feel safe, baby. I hope you know that."

I nod again and tuck my fists under my chin. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, my Bella. Sleep."

xxx

"Bella, hold still or I am going to burn you!" Alice reprimands me.

I groan, as she twirls another lock of my hair around her gigantic curling iron. "My ass is asleep, Alice. How much longer do I have to sit here?"

"Perfection takes time, so just hush up."

Edward left at eleven to go back to his parents' home and get ready. Less than thirty minutes later, "Alice the tornado" arrived. I showered, as instructed. Shaved, as instructed. Then moisturized…as instructed.

_Damn bossy-ass pixie._

So, now I have officially been sitting in this chair while she primes and primps me, for close to _two_ hours.

_Fuck. My. Life._

I close my eyes and go to my happy place–which is in Edward's arms. Yes, that does it. I feel myself begin to relax again while Alice flitters about "perfecting" me.

I am finally given permission to rise from the chair, but apparently, I cannot be trusted to dress myself properly either. Alice pulls out the Gucci dress–still in its garment bag –from the closet and hangs it on the back of my bedroom door. I rub my sore ass, while I watch her dance around the room, and try not to scowl at her.

_If I had a way to bottle some of that energy…I'd be a damn millionaire._

"Okay, Edward will be here to pick you up in twenty minutes. Do you need my help getting dressed? If not, I'm just going to head downstairs and speak with Charlie."

"I'll be fine, Alice. Believe it or not, I have managed to dress myself on more than one occasion." A smirk plays on my lips.

She nods before exiting the room. I slip out of my bathrobe and lay it across my bed. Alice has laid out a navy blue lace thong and matching invisible bra that I hesitantly put on. Something about being pregnant and wearing lingerie just doesn't mesh well for me. Add to that, this "stick-on" bra thingamajig…and yeah.

After spending about fifteen minutes, just trying to make sure this bra is even going to stay in place, I am finally ready to put on my dress. It's tight fitting with ruching on the side, but stretchy, so there is no zipper. I slip into it and turn to face the mirror. It really does look good, and I can only imagine Edward's reaction. It's one shouldered, with a leather strap across my bare one.

The heels…Lord have mercy; I am surely going to kill myself in them tonight. I really hope he doesn't have too much walking planned. I rest at the edge of my bed, and slip them on, zipping them up on the inside. Once more, I spin in front of the mirror. Alice curled my hair in heavy waves, then pulled and pinned it to the right side, letting it fall forward over my shoulder.

I grab the handbag, toss in my keys, wallet, and lip-gloss. A final look in the mirror, and I suppose this is it. I suddenly feel nervous, even though I do look damn good.

When I open my bedroom door, I can hear muffled voices coming from below. With a deep breath, I take the first step down.

_Dear, God. Please don't let me fall down the stairs in these shoes._

The voices cease as I make my way slowly down, keeping my eyes firmly trained on my feet. I hear a quiet gasp from Alice and look up. Three sets of eyes are zoned in on me, but I only lock onto one pair. All the air in my lungs whooshes out at the sight of him.

_Oh my…GOD!_

He's in a tux? It's a solid black, one-button tux with no tie. Holy shit…I should resign myself to the fact that these panties are officially ruined.

_This man is mine? Not possible! Hot damn!_

Apparently, everyone has caught on to my not-too-subtle drool involved gawking, because Charlie and Alice both clear their throats at the same time. Edward's lips twitch into a smirk, before he takes the stairs two at a time and stops in front of me. He places his finger under my chin, and pushes it up, effectively closing my mouth and causing my face to heat up.

"Alice picked out the dress," I mumble self-consciously, running my free hand down the front of it.

"You're perfect." He smiles before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.

He turns to the side and offers me his arm. I smile shyly at him, before slipping my hand into the crook of his elbow. Edward gently leads us to the bottom of the steps and out the front door. Again, I lose the ability to breathe. Parked along the curb, is a sleek black Chrysler 300, complete with…

"A driver? Edward? What? How?"

I turn to him in confusion. He shrugs and smiles nervously. "I know a guy."

I feel like I am literally in the middle of a fairytale. We walk forward after saying our goodbyes to Charlie and Alice. The driver, who introduces himself to me as Sam, opens the door before he offers me a hand to step in.

_Is this for real?_

Edward slides in beside me, and we're off to Seattle. I must admit, not having to drive ourselves…awesome.

xxx

It's almost six-thirty when we arrive in Seattle. As Sam maneuvers the car through the busy downtown streets, Edward pulls a blindfold from the inside breast pocket of his coat. I shoot him a confused look when he holds it up, a playful smile etched on his face.

"Indulge me, Bella?"

I hesitantly nod. He leans in close, gently rubbing his nose alongside mine before placing a gentle kiss on my lips. Before I register the warmth spreading through my body from his lips on mine, he slides the blindfold over my eyes, tying it gently at the back of my head.

I feel his breath on my neck, just below my ear. "Thank you for trusting me," he softly whispers against my skin.

I feel my breath hitch at his words. Having my sight taken from me immediately heightens all my other senses. My sense of smell is on overdrive, as I am completely consumed by the scent of Edward. He's simply mouth-watering.

The car comes to a slow stop and Edward grasps my hand firmly in his. I hear the car door open, he releases my hand, and leaves the confines of the car. Suddenly, my door opens, and I feel Edward grasp my hand and arm at once.

"We're here, Bella," he says sweetly with a hint of excitement as he helps me exit. I can hear the sounds of the city, but it's impossible to ascertain where "here" is.

"God, please don't let me fall, Edward."

He chuckles softly beside me. "Never, sweetheart."

The car door closes behind me and I feel Edward's hand slide across the small of my back and gently ease me forward. I have a death-grip on his hand as we move. We stop and I am aware of him opening a door; again guiding me forward. The space becomes somewhat quieter; although it is obvious, there are people around. The sound of my heels clicking across the floor echoes in the space around us as we continue to move. Edward stops me briefly before I am suddenly aware that we are moving up.

"I feel ridiculous," I whisper in his direction.

Again, he chuckles. "There's no one else on the elevator, love."

"Hmm, an elevator. So, are you saying I got all dolled up for a hotel room?" I tease.

"Just wait and see," he says seductively as he presses his nose against my temple.

I stand patiently in his embrace, my back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around my waist, while we ride up, up, and up some more. _Seriously, how much further up can we possibly go?_ I can feel Edward's heart pounding rapidly against my back. That fact alerts me to his nervousness, and it only triggers mine.

"Baby, are you okay?" I ask softly, rubbing my hands tenderly back and forth across his arms.

"I'm fine, love, just excited."

_Hmm. Not buying that by the tone of his voice, but I'll let it go for now._

Finally, the elevator stops and Edward slowly shuffles me forward. He comes to my side once again and grabs my hand only moving us a few steps before stopping me again. There is a soft music playing, a low hum of conversations flowing around, and light tinkling of what sounds like silverware.

I feel him move to stand in front of me and place his hands on my hips. "Bella, are you ready?"

"Yes?" _I think?_

His hands move to the back of my head and he unties the knot holding the blindfold in place. I blink rapidly at the sudden onslaught of light, trying furiously to first focus on just his face. A beautiful and shy smile graces it as he looks down at me. When my vision finally clears, I take a moment to understand our surrounding. When it registers, I gasp.

"Sky City?" I ask with my voice full of quiet excitement.

The smile on my face is surely a mile wide as he moves to my side and I focus on the view just past him. Sky City is a restaurant that sits atop the Seattle Space Needle. When you're seated, the restaurant rotates, and you eventually have a three-sixty view of the city. Their food…_yum_…fresh seafood that's to die for. We haven't been here in years–not since the first year we were dating.

Edward's smile undoubtedly matches my own as he turns from me to address the hostess. She leads us to our table, and instead of sitting across from me, Edward sits beside me. Our view starts with us facing south and with today being almost crystal clear, Mount Rainer rises over the horizon majestically. It's a breathtaking sight.

Edward slides his arm along the back of my chair and leans in close to me as we watch the view slowly pass. When our waiter arrives, he orders us the crab with artichoke dip. Our conversation is light and easy as we just enjoy the time together. For dinner, I choose the Seafood Fettucine Carbonara and Edward has the Grilled Wild King Salmon. At this point, he moves to sit across from me.

Unfortunately, smack in the middle of dinner is when our conversation takes a turn for the worst. He just told me that he needs to return to Wilmington soon to finish working on the Carson case, but I suddenly realize that he's just asked me a question that I really don't want to answer.

_Will I be coming with him?_

I pause for a moment, wipe my mouth with my napkin, and look up at him. "I need you to understand, Edward. I love you. With all that I am, I love you. That's not the issue."

"Then what is it, Bella? If we don't talk about this, then we can't work thought it either."

I sigh and take a sip of my water. "My issue is trusting you. But that's not anything you don't already know. I've told you before…I'm scared."

He nods, holding my gaze momentarily but doesn't respond. He takes another bite of his meal and turns to look out the window as he chews. I watch him, suddenly having no appetite. I don't want to hurt him, and I can see the pain in his eyes. We've both hurt each other and it's time to either move past it, or move on.

"I don't know how else to do it, and I don't know if it's going to be enough. But one day, I will be able to look at you and say that I tried everything I could to make this right."

I feel almost burned by the intensity of his words. I can't speak. I just nod, my eyes wide and my mind more confused than ever.

_Does that mean he's giving up?_

We finish our meal in contemplative silence. There are a few times when I sense that he wants to say something more, but he never does. After the waiter clears away our empty plates, Edward moves back over to sit beside me. He pulls me against him, pressing his lips into my hair as we watch the view again. I thread our fingers together when he wraps his arms around me, and try to contain the overwhelming flow of emotions bubbling up to the surface.

"I love you, Edward. I'm _so_ in love with you." I whisper softly as a tear makes a trail down my cheek.

He places another kiss to the top of my head. "Come on. There's still something else I have planned for tonight, and I want to get down there before the sun sets."

xxx

Back on the ground, we exit the Space Needle and begin walking towards the harbor. From our location, it's only about a ten-minute walk to Olympic Sculpture Park, which is where Edward has told me we're headed. With one hand threaded through his, I lean my head on his bicep and wrap my other hand around it as well. As we pause for a crosswalk, he pulls my chin up with his free hand and presses his lips delicately to mine, then to my cheek, and finally my forehead.

The park isn't overly busy, but there are plenty of people mulling about as we casually stroll through the gardens, past the large metal structures, and across the gravel walkways.

As the sun begins to sink deeper in the sky, I am reminded of the similarities this evening has to the one we spent in Port Angeles. We casually walk down the V-shaped lawn that crosses over Elliot Avenue and turn towards the glass bridge. From this vantage point, we can see the water of Puget Sound, and far off in the distance to either side, the mountains. I have a sudden need to break the silence.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we talk about the whole trust thing?"

There are red metal chairs lining the pathway and he leads us over to sit in them. Never releasing my hand, he turns to face me, seemingly waiting for me to continue. An unexpected wave of nerves rush over me, and I take a few calming breaths while gazing out at the water. The sun is inching its way further towards the horizon, casting a warm glow across the sky, and I focus on the serenity of the scene.

"I'm trying so hard to get past all of this. I promise you that. But, I need your help."

I turn my head to look at him. His brow furrows as he stares at our locked hands, running his thumb over my knuckles.

"Anything, Bella," he says softly while meeting my gaze.

My voice is soft but steady. "All of this happened because…well, because you had issues with balancing out our life with your work." I take and release a deep breath. "We're having a baby, Edward." His grip on my hand tightens. "I need to be able to trust in your ability to balance out your priorities."

He nods wordlessly, his eyes dancing back and forth between mine.

"_If_ I go back to Wilmington with you…do you know how you're going to do that? Can you assure me that this same thing won't happen all over again? Because I will tell you right now…if it doesn't change, and the baby is here…it will…I'll never be able to forgive you again, Edward. I just won't."

Unable to stop them, my tears fall swiftly down my cheeks. He slowly brings a hand to my face and tenderly wipes them away. His face holds a look of deep concentration, but his eyes are flooded with guilt.

"Baby, I have learned a severe lesson from the mistakes that I made. I desperately need for _you_ to understand that I will never be that man again. I will _never_ make the mistake of putting anything ahead of you; of our life." He sighs before continuing. "The only reassurance that I can give you, is what I have already told you I've done. There are plans in place to hire more help. Mike and I have discussed, in great depth, how we plan to lessen my workload and split incoming cases more diligently." He reaches out to hold both of my hands in his, staring deep into my eyes, he says, "With everything that I am, I promise you, you can trust me. You, our life, our baby…nothing else matters to me. You're my reason for everything."

I stay silent as I let his words and promises swirl through my mind and begin to take root. He pulls us both up to stand again, and presses my head to his chest. I turn my head to rest my cheek against him, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist, and can hear his heart pounding rapidly. We stand together wordlessly, letting the depth of the moment penetrate us.

It only takes a short time for my brain and my heart to process and rectify his words. If I want to have a future with him, then I have to be willing to afford him the chance he so obviously and desperately needs. I pull back slightly, turning my head to rest my chin on his chest, and look up at him.

_I need to do this for us. It's my turn to show him that he can trust me, too._

I take a deep breath, causing him to look down into my eyes. "Okay," I half whisper.

He takes a full step back, releasing me but gripping my hands in his. "Okay, what?"

I faintly dip my head. "I'll go home with you."

A stream of emotions shimmers quickly through his eyes. Guilt, doubt, fear, and then finally, understanding and hope. The look of hope intensifies, and it's now the intensity of his gaze that sets me on fire, before he speaks again.

"Bella, before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars–points of light and reason–then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly, everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but the light had blinded my eyes. I couldn't see the stars anymore, and there was no more reason for anything.

"I have faults. I made many mistakes, and I will likely make plenty more, but you give me reason to want to be a better man. Nothing in my life makes sense without you. I know I didn't do this right the first time, and you have every reason to say no, but I hope that you'll understand that there is nothing I want more than to spend forever with you. A life without you is not a life worth living. When I make mistakes, I want you to be the one that teaches me how to fix them. I want to share the good and the bad, the happy and the sad…all of it…with you and only you."

Suddenly, he releases me, and drops to one knee. I suck in a shaky breath as he pulls my left hand between both of his.

_Oh, holy shit! _

"I love you _so_ much; sometimes it feels like my heart might explode. Will you make me the happiest man alive? Will you marry me, Bella?"

_Oh, dear God. That was just…wow._

My heart takes off like a hummingbird, and I am certain that he can hear it. Shit, I'm positive all of _Seattle_ can hear it. Tears are streaming down both of our faces, and his eyes now hold so much love it takes my breath away.

"Are you sure? I mean, you're absolutely certain?" I whisper. "It's not just because…we're having a baby?"

He smiles crookedly while squeezing my hand. "I've never been more certain about anything else in my entire life…especially you having my baby. Marry me."

"Edward, I–I...I'm…" I can't speak past the twinge of fear that's still bouncing around in my subconscious.

_Shit._

"Baby, I'm tired of being afraid. All right?" His voice rises anxiously. "You and me…we make sense. You give my life reason…meaning…purpose. You're everything I've always wanted. Ever. I want to be–"

I fall to my knees in front of him, my lips effectively silencing him. I grip his face in my hands, and lose myself in the velvety texture of his.

"Yes," I whisper against his lips.

He pulls back hard and searches my eyes. "Bella?"

I bite my lip and nod my head. He sighs as a sparkle of excitement bursts in his eyes, exciting me as well, before he leaps up, pulling me with him. He wraps me in a bone-crushing hug and spins us around. I can't help the giggle that escapes me at his enthusiasm.

"She said yes!" he screams over and over.

_God, I love this man._

He sets me down and my body is pressed against him as we both cling to each other. I can hear his haggard breaths and his heart beating wildly. He pulls my left hand around in front of him, reaches into his breast pocket, and pulls out the ring. Before he slides it on my finger, he flips it around and motions for me to read the inscription on the inside of the band. "Forever"

He raises my hand, kisses my finger, and then slides the ring into place.

_Oh, wow._

It's incredible. A single heart-shaped stone, rimmed in platinum and set atop a delicate band. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. Ever.

"Bella," he pauses and swallows audibly. "Let this ring always serve as a reminder that you carry my heart with you. It belongs to you. Please look after it," he whispers tenderly, and then places a delicate kiss over top the ring.

I do my best not to swoon over those words, but I can't stop myself from throwing my arms around his shoulders and kissing the hell out of him. When the necessity for air finally breaks us apart, he holds me to him with his hands linked behind my back. The happiness and adoration on his face makes him seem almost child-like.

"Let's go home, Bella," he says with a look of pure joy.

With my arms still tightly bound around his neck, I smile in return.

"Yeah, let's go home."

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><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

*le sigh* I want my own personal "Edward". Yeah, sure...like it's even possible for a man to exist that's like the ones I write. Ha! lol

So...you know what to do...review, review, review!

Ok, time jump coming up...and the results of the vote next chapter! :) Love you! Mean it! xoxo


	17. Chapter 16 :: Deep Trouble

**A/N:**

This story was featured on The Twilight Awards . com as a Under the Radar fic! SQUEEEEEE!

The gender results are IN! If you voted...(and it was a CLOSE race; a difference of FOUR votes!)...THANK YOU! You shall be rewarded!

I really loved writing this chapter! Hope you enjoy it! It's kinda funny! There's a nice long A/N at the bottom, so I'll shut up now!

**All the usual:**

**Story Blog:** (teasers, pics, songs & more!) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07 (come chat with me!)

SM gets the priviledge of owning the characters; I just play in her sandbox! This you know!

**PTB Editing Beta's: TDS88 & VictoryLayne**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16 – Deep Trouble<strong>

**EPOV**

"Wake up, beautiful," I whisper softly against her neck. Bella stirs and hides her head under her pillow away from the waking world.

_So damn cute._

"Come on, baby. We have to get up. You're appointment is today." She hums reluctantly in acknowledgement.

After a few moments, she grumbles and then tries, but fails, to roll from her side to her stomach. Her now slightly protruding belly stands in her way. I pepper light kisses along the top of her shoulder and run my hand down her side, stopping at her waist, before sliding it along her swollen abdomen. I marvel at the feel as usual, knowing that she carries a piece of both of us, safe and warm, just beneath the surface of her skin. _Our baby._

She throws the pillow off her head and huffs. "Fine. But let me remind you, I am not thrilled about the fact that this appointment is so early in the damn morning." Her voice is thick with sleep.

I suppress a laugh. "Bella, if I remember correctly, this was your idea. Right? You didn't want to worry all day about having a full bladder."

"Right, and what brilliant-ass doctor came up with _that_ idea anyway? Seriously? Let's torture the pregnant woman, who already has to piss fifteen times an hour, by making her hold it. It had to be a man; it just had to be. There's no way a woman would come up with that."

"Aww, you know I'd do this for you if I could," I soothe, placing more kisses along her neck and shoulder.

"Ohhh, please! If men had to carry babies and give birth, the human race would cease to exist."

_Ooookaaaay, so I probably should've let her sleep just a little longer. My little firecracker._

At this point, I realize that it's wise not to speak. Yeah, I've quickly learned when to keep my mouth shut. And first thing in the morning…it's not a good idea to test her limits. It's not her fault completely; she's pregnant, so I try not to let little things get to me. Her emotions are so hot and cold, and I can't fault her for her over reactive hormones. I know she never means to snap at me, and she reminds me of that frequently. I gently tap her hip, lay one final kiss beneath her ear, and slide out of bed.

"How about I fix you some breakfast while you shower?" I ask.

_Three…two…one…cue the tears. _

"Edward," she sobs. "I'm sorry."

_Just like clockwork. How many more weeks are left of this crazy woman who's taken over my woman's body?_

I kneel on the floor beside the bed and comb my fingers through her hair. "Nothing to be sorry for, love. Go get ready, and I'll have breakfast for you when you're done. Okay?"

She nods and then leans up, pressing her lips to mine. "I love you," she says against them.

"So much," I respond with a wink.

xxx

The past three months have been an interesting learning process for both of us. The night I asked Bella to marry me was nothing short of amazing. Well, of course it was, she said yes. I had also booked us a room at an upscale hotel in Seattle, and we spent much of that night and next morning, relishing in the moment and reconnecting on a deeper level.

We said goodbye to our families over the remainder of the weekend and began our drive back across the country that Monday. Alice and Jasper were definitely the hardest to leave, with not knowing when they would return to Paris, or even back to the states. They promised a trip after the baby comes, but it didn't make leaving them any easier.

We took our time on the drive by stopping every eight hours for the night, and ended up making it back home by Friday afternoon. I didn't want Bella to spend too much time sitting in the car, and there wasn't really a huge rush, so we made the most of it; much like the first time we made that trip.

That next week, I reluctantly went back to work. The moment I set foot through the door, I felt like I walked straight into WWIII. Total. Fucking. Chaos. Mike was sitting behind his desk, papers scattered and piled on every flat surface, and his hands shoved deep into the hair on his head. Long story short, James Hunter had somehow managed to escape from custody during his transfer from county lock-up to the state pen in Raleigh.

During the drive, the bus that was loaded with prisoners was run off the road. We're talking flipped over, rolled down an embankment, and almost caught fire. Five prisoners, the driver, and one guard were killed in the "accident". It was obvious he had some kind of help busting out, as he was the only prisoner that escaped–or was taken. So now, three months later, he is still on the run.

_Fan-fucking-tastic._

He's listed on the FBI's top ten _Most Wanted_ list, and at the moment, they believe he has fled the country. The last we heard, they were tracking him somewhere in Brazil, but his trail has since run cold.

The Carter case went exceptionally well as I was able to get him sentenced for twenty-five to life without parole. I took on a few other cases over the months, but made sure my workload stayed light. I'll admit, it was an adjustment at first, but I made a promise to Bella, and I have every intention of keeping it. I won't screw us up again.

We hired two clerks and a paralegal, and the help has been amazing. There hasn't been a single day that I am not walking out of that office by four PM, unless it's a late-day trial, and I am in court. On those rare days, Bella is fully aware of where I am and knows that the late night is a possibility. Our communication has reached a whole new level, and it's brought us even closer. Like I said, it's been an adjustment, and I am not perfect, but I am trying.

Bella began summer courses at UNC for her graduate degree and is working as a teaching assistant. Both have been keeping her fairly busy as well. Along with her course load, she's also been developing material, preparing and giving exams, and teaching lower level courses. The woman was born to teach.

With the baby due in November, she's been fully preparing herself to take leave for the Fall semester. I feel bad knowing how important finishing up her graduate degree is to her, and having to take the time off sets her back. She has assured me time and again that she is perfectly fine with it, but it's just one more thing that adds to my list of guilt.

After a little debate with herself, she ended up finding a doctor that she is very comfortable with at Wilmington Health OB/GYN. We haven't taken the birth tour of the facility just yet, but she has met with her doctor a few times, and now we have less than eighteen weeks–give or take–before "Baby C" makes his or her arrival. But who's counting right? Today, we'll hopefully know if we should buy pink or blue.

xxx

Bella reluctantly plops down at the breakfast bar with her hair still slightly damp from her shower. I find myself constantly admiring her; almost perpetually focused on her swollen belly. She's always been beautiful, but somehow knowing that she carries our baby, makes her even more gorgeous in my eyes. She of course, thinks that I am crazy for still finding her attractive, but she just doesn't see herself clearly at all. She's the most stunning creature alive.

I place her veggie omelet in front of her, as well as a bowl of fruit, before doing the same for myself, and sliding onto the stool beside her. I can't tell yet if she is excited or nervous about today, but I feel like bouncing off the damn ceiling with anticipation.

"How is it?" I ask, nodding my head at her plate of food.

"It's good, baby. Thank you." She's sullen. This is not good.

"Are you excited about today?"

She sighs before taking another bite of food, and I'm confused by her attitude. For the last few weeks, she's seemed ecstatic about this appointment and very ready to finally find out what we're having. I don't understand.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

_Shit. Wrong question._

Almost immediately, tears begin streaming down her cheeks. I swivel her stool to face mine and bring her into my arms. She presses her face into my shoulder while I rub my hands soothingly up and down her back. She takes a few calming breaths before she seems to regain her composure.

"I'm just worried that I am going to be disappointed."

_What?_

"I don't understand. Disappointed about what, love?" I push her back to look into her eyes.

"God, this is going to sound so stupid," she says with a groan. "What if subconsciously, I really want it to be one or the other, and then it's the other, and then I'm disappointed because it wasn't the other?"

I try–I really try not to–but a laugh bursts out of me. She narrows her eyes at me. "It's not funny, Edward."

"I'm sorry, babe. You do realize that made almost no sense at all, right?"

"See, I told you it was stupid." She huffs, crosses her arms over her chest, and turns her head away.

"No, baby, it wasn't stupid. But, I thought you said that you don't have a preference? Did you change your mind?"

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "No, but I keep dreaming of a little green-eyed, bronze-headed boy. He's so handsome, just like his daddy. The dreams are just so real; I can practically feel him. I'm scared that we'll go in there today, and if they tell us we're having a girl, I'll be disappointed."

_Well, damn._

I am at a loss for fucking words. How do I even begin to comfort her? I cup her face in my hands, tenderly rubbing my thumbs over her jawbone.

"Listen, no matter what they tell us today, the most important thing you need to worry about right now, is if he or she is healthy. I have absolutely no doubt that you will be a phenomenal mother to this child and any other children we will have in the future. Boy or girl, you will love it wholeheartedly. That's just how you are, baby. You don't do anything half-way."

I softly press my lips to hers as she sniffles. When I pull back, she slowly opens her eyes and meets mine. "I love you," she whispers.

"And I love you. Now let's go see how much Baby C has grown, alright?"

She studies my face but makes no effort to move. "Edward?" she asks, fixated on my eyes. I nod in response.

"I really have to pee," she says with a hint of mirth. Again, I bark out a laugh and then quickly kiss her on the cheek.

xxx

On any given day, it should only take about half an hour to drive from our house to the clinic. However, in the back of my mind, I picture the moment Bella goes into labor as being highly chaotic; bumper-to-bumper traffic, a massive fifty car pile-up, a hurricane, a presidential visit, you name it. I suppose it's a valid fear of every father-to-be, worrying that they won't make it to the hospital in time and will have to deliver their own kid on the side of the road. Irrational, yes, I am aware.

That fear isn't placated much today as we drive across the causeway and–just like my fear–we are sitting in traffic. Bella is squirming in her seat, no doubt due to the fact that her bladder is full. I have to agree with her lack of enthusiasm for this particular "rule". If it is any gauge as to the level of difficulty, I've seen how often the woman uses the restroom lately; this cannot be comfortable for her at all. She must hate life at the moment.

Once we've parked and entered the clinic, Bella's face becomes a mask of nerves. Unfortunately, it's only exacerbated by the wait. We sit in the cold, hard chairs for, at least, another twenty minutes before she is finally called back. The medical assistant takes her vitals and her weight–which she immediately insists that seven pounds of it is in her bladder. I chuckle softly beside her, earning myself a death glare.

From there, we are escorted back to the radiology area. It's like déjà vu, only the room and the staff are obviously different. I feel the excitement bubbling up in my core as Bella prepares herself, as instructed by the technologist. She introduces herself as Melissa and dims the lights before she takes a seat on Bella's left and begins to work.

Much like the first time, Bella lowers her pants down past her hips and folds her shirt high over her breasts, exposing her belly. Melissa squirts a large blob of the blue gel onto the lower half of her abdomen, before sliding the wand into it and spreading it around. I take my place beside Bella and clasp her right hand between both of mine.

While it seems similar to her first ultrasound, there is also a mix of differences. Melissa starts by rolling the wand low over her bladder and commends her for arriving with it full. Bella huffs and rolls her eyes.

"Miss Swan, I know it's not very comfortable, but it allows the transmission to be much clearer, I assure you," she pacifies.

Bella nods and then fixes her eyes back on the screen. Melissa explains to us the purpose of this ultrasound is for what is called a Fetal Anatomy Screen. She will take measurements and recordings of the baby and the placenta, comparing them to the estimated gestational age, and also be able to give us a better understanding of her due date, as well as the health of the baby. I'm fascinated by the technology.

She starts out by finding the baby's legs, and begins freezing the screen and then measuring the lengths of the bones. She then moves on to the arms and does the same. A little slip and slide of the wand, and we are graced with a clear view of ten tiny toes. I quickly look down at Bella, and the smile on her face is blinding; I am sure mine matches it.

"Oh my God," she whispers as I give her hand a gentle squeeze.

_Who knew the sight of those little feet would cause this feeling?_

Melissa then explains the next view we are seeing is a cross-section view of the head and brain. She produces this dotted circle-like measuring tool on the screen and calculates the circumference, before moving around and giving us a clear and beautiful profile shot of the baby's face. I am in absolute awe seeing the little round nose and lips. The baby's hand then moves up, and it looks as if he or she begins to suck its thumb. Bella lets out a little giggle, which then bounces the baby around slightly.

_Fucking fascinating!_

We're shown the kidneys and stomach before she circles the wand again and our baby's spine comes into view. Bella perks up with a sudden nervous interest.

"It's okay? No cysts? No open…um, holes?" she questions.

"The spine looks very healthy, Miss Swan," Melissa reassures her.

I make a mental note to ask her about that later. I know she's been reading tons of pregnancy books; I suppose I need to get better at that, too.

The heart is next and just…wow. Melissa shows us the different chambers and ventricles and then measures the heart rate. Again, the room is filled with that underwater freight train sound, causing my own heart to flutter right along with it.

She then inspects the placenta and umbilical cord before she states that she's almost finished with the screening. Bella gives my hand a squeeze, and I look down at her face. It may not be very bright in the room, but she is positively glowing. The excitement and joy in her eyes is mixed with love and adoration, which leaves me no other choice than to lean over and press my lips to hers. She strokes the side of my face with her free hand when I pull away, and for just a moment, we're lost in the weight of the experience.

"Well, mommy and daddy, would you like to know if you should paint pink or blue walls?" Melissa asks brightly.

Still looking deep into Bella's brown eyes, a silent question passes between us. There is hesitation on her face, and I have a sudden idea. I only hope Bella won't be disappointed with my request. I look up at Melissa, desperately trying to avoid looking at the screen of our baby.

"Would it be possible for you to print us a photograph, but put it in an envelope for us to look at later?" I ask hesitantly.

Bella squeezes my hand, and I look back down at her. "Edward?" she questions with clear confusion on her face.

"Trust me?" I request.

She hesitates for only a split second before she resigns with a nod. I capture her lips in a quick kiss, before Melissa speaks up.

"Okay, so I am going to go give my results to the doctor. She'll be in with you shortly to discuss everything and answer any questions you might have. I have two envelopes here for you. This one," she starts, handing it to me, "is a few different images I printed during the screening and thought you'd enjoy. And this one," she hands me a smaller one, with the words "Pink or Blue?" written on the outside, "is the gender results. I will say that I am one-hundred percent positive of those results," she finishes with a small smile and a wink.

Bella and I exchange a glance before thanking her and she leaves the room. I help her wipe the remaining gel from her stomach, and then offer her a hand so she can fully sit up on the exam table. Almost immediately, she slides off the table and rushes into the adjoined restroom. If it weren't for the fact that I am sure this has been painful for her, it would be comical. When she exits, she walks swiftly towards me and snatches the envelopes from my hands with a coy smile.

I shoot her a stern warning look. "I'm not going to peek, Edward. I want to see all the other photos," she says with a huff as she climbs back onto the exam table. I place a kiss on her temple, rest my hip on the side of the table, and look over her shoulder. She pulls a stack of printouts from the envelope and lets out a small gasp. There are photos of the baby's hands, feet, spine, and profile. She also printed one of when the baby was likely sucking its thumb. There's also an "alien-looking" one that appears to be a frontal face shot. I shudder at the sight.

_No baby of mine will look like an alien, dammit!_

After we share a few more moments of bliss reveling in our baby's photos, Dr. Hall enters the room. She's a smaller, middle-aged woman, with dark hair and eyes, and a warm smile. I can immediately see why Bella feels comfortable with her; she has that motherly-warmth about her. She explains that the baby looks perfectly healthy and is growing right on schedule. Bella relaxes instantly upon her assurance. She also gives us a more concrete due date of November 18th.

Prior to leaving, we set up another appointment in four weeks where she'll have to do some kind of glucose test. Apparently, it is something to do with diabetes in pregnancy. I don't know, but it's in that moment that I realize Bella is _so very_ right. If men had to have babies…yeah, I'm pretty sure the population of the world would drastically decline.

xxx

Since we're already downtown, we decide to have lunch at Elijah's on the Cape Fear River deck. It's situated right near Chandler's Wharf, where there are plenty of shops and restaurants. The wharf definitely adds to the historical charm of downtown.

I park the truck along one of the side streets and we stroll hand-in-hand along the cobblestone sidewalks towards the boardwalk. The hostess leads us to a table on their outside patio that overlooks the river. I've always thought that the atmosphere is almost romantic here and possibly a good place for a wedding, but I shake away those thoughts. Bella has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to be rushed into any wedding plans. I'm perfectly content going to City Hall, or hell, even Vegas, but I honestly don't know how she feels about _any_ wedding at all, so I don't press the issue. I glance at her engagement ring and smile to myself.

_She said yes. It will happen when she's ready. There's no rush._

The waiter arrives and Bella orders the Grilled Tuna sandwich while I have the Fish and Chips. We manage to avoid the gigantic purple-spotted elephant for the majority of the meal, and simply bask in the simplicity of the afternoon. Our conversation is light and easy; even silences are effortless and undemanding.

When the waiter returns asking if we'd like any dessert, Bella jumps at the chance for their infamous Death by Chocolate. I chuckle at her and shake my head, but I can deny her nothing; especially chocolate while she's pregnant. This concoction of theirs is layered with chocolate brownie, chocolate ganache, chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, and a final layer of chocolate brownie. If that isn't enough chocolate for you, then it's also covered in a chocolate glaze. Yeah, death by chocolate _indeed._

When she finally comes up for air, and after trying to stab my hand with her fork when I tried to have a bite for myself, I bring up the subject of the mystery inside the envelope.

"So, I know you're probably wondering why I didn't let Melissa tell us what we're having."

She nods, licking a trace of chocolate from her bottom lip, momentarily causing me to lose my concentration. Without hesitation, I lean over and finish the job for her.

_Mmm, chocolate covered Bella. _

She blushes at my brazen public display of sexual desire, as I lick any trace of chocolate from my lips.

_Yeah, mental note: revisit chocolate covered Bella very soon._

She clears her throat, partially snapping me out of my lust-filled thoughts. "You were saying?" she presses in amusement.

My mouth curls up. She really has no idea of the effect she has on me. I press my lips against the skin of her neck and then lightly graze them up towards her ear. My hand travels across the skin of her thigh, and I delicately trace circles over her knee. I see her shiver at the contact and smile to myself before whispering, "Vixen."

She lets out a long sigh of contentment, and I force my body away from her. I take a turn at clearing my throat. "As I was saying, I had the sudden idea to have her place the results of the ultrasound in the envelope, so that it could be a moment just you and I share alone. Something that's just ours, you know? I probably confused you when I asked her, huh?"

"You're so amazing. Do you know that?" She cups my face in her hands and presses three quick kisses on my lips. "I was scared you were going to tell her we didn't want to know at all. I really don't think I can wait four and a half more months to find out."

"Well, with that said…when do you want to open the envelope?"

"Hmm. Now!" she exclaims, a smile of epic proportions on her face.

I chuckle at her enthusiasm. "Really, Bella? Right here in the middle of a restaurant?" I tease.

She glances around with her brow puckered. "Where then? I can't stand this anticipation any freaking longer, Edward," she whines.

_I swear to God, this woman owns me._

"I have an idea." I drop some cash on the table to cover lunch, grab her hand, and hurry us away from the riverside. In my haste, I realize I am pretty much dragging her behind me.

"Edward? Where are we going?" she asks breathlessly, her feet quickening to keep up.

"Five minutes from here. I know the perfect place."

xxx

It is the perfect place; _our_ place. As I drive the truck into the gravel lot, flashes of my last visit here flood my mind. She loves Greenfield Lake though, so I know the peace and privacy of the location is perfect. I know it even more when I turn to face her, and her eyes are alight with excitement.

"You're right," she says in awe.

I help her from the cab of the truck, and she threads her fingers through mine. We walk along a dirt path, drinking in the serenity of our surroundings, until she stops at the first bench we come to and sits down.

"Sit, Edward. I seriously don't think I can wait another second," she chirps, practically bouncing.

Before I sit, I pull the envelope from my back jeans pocket and hand it to her. The way that she clutches in her hands, you would think it's made of fine porcelain. I study her closely as she nibbles nervously on her bottom lip.

"Bella?"

She glances up at me and then quickly back down at the envelope. "You're still worried about that whole disappointment thing, aren't you?"

She tries to conceal her sudden indecision, but fairs poorly at it. "Baby, remember what I said? Everything will be fine. I have no doubts about how much you will love this child, regardless of its gender." She looks up at me once again; her beautiful brown eyes are swimming with unshed tears. "Go on. Open it. Let's find out what Baby C is already," I softy coax.

In and out, she heavily breathes. I quietly regard her as she slides a solitary finger under the flap and loosens the seal. Her eyes meet mine as she slips the photo from inside and holds it between us. I feel like such a girl with the way the excitement is frazzling my nerves, but I attempt to remain calm and collected for her.

"On the count of three, okay?" she questions softly.

I nod and epically fail at keeping the mile-wide smile off my face. I suddenly understand Alice just a little more, as I feel like bouncing like Tigger on the bench.

_Jesus, get a grip, Cullen._

"One."

The emotion in her eyes changes from nervous to excited.

"Two."

I literally feel like a boa constrictor is squeezing my heart in a vice grip.

"Three."

We immediately break eye contact and focus on the black and white paper in her fingers. It takes me less than a fraction of a second to determine that it's showing a clear view of…okay, ew.

_This is just all kinds of wrong._

Bella lets out what sounds like a mix of a gasp, sob, and giggle all at once. Her hand flies up and covers her mouth, while I remain fixated on the picture.

Delicately held in the fingers of the woman I love more than life itself, is a print out of our future. For some inexplicable reason, everything about my life just became clearer and more real.

A tiny arrow points to the space between the baby's thighbones, clearly indicating what to look at. Typed across the top of the image–as if seeing the photo alone wasn't enough of a clue–is a single and profoundly life-altering word.

I don't even realize there are tears rolling down my face until I feel Bella's tiny hand tenderly wiping them away. I had no idea that this simple image would impact me in this way. Absolutely, none at all. I look into her eyes; so full of love and longing that I can't help but to pull her hard against me and kiss her with everything I have.

"Bella," I sob against her lips. "Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella." I kiss her chin, her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then back to her lips.

She lets out a wet laugh, unable to control her tears as well. I hold her precious face in my hands, and stare deeply into her eyes. "I'm so fucking happy, baby."

Her smile mirrors mine. "Are you okay?" I ask, searching her eyes for any hesitation. There's none. She nods quickly and then laughs out again. "I am, Edward. I really am."

We're a pair of blubbering fools, but I could give two shits about it. I haven't had this feeling since the moment she said she'd marry me. We both look down at the photo once again and then back at each other. I jump up from the bench and pull her with me. I crush her to my chest and spin us around as she giggles.

"So…tell me Mr. Cullen," she begins, as I steady her on her feet. "You think you can handle all that comes with being the father of a little girl?" she quips.

I swallow hard.

_Oh, shit. _

_I. Am. Fucked._

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

Awww...Daddyward! You're so screwed! heeheehee...let me know what ya think! There you have it! The results of the vote...seriously, but a 4 vote difference! It's a GIRL! xoxox

I took a few liberties with Wilmington in this chapter, but I have to give a HUGE shout-out to Joy1 who helped me with a good chunk of location deets! Thanks woman!

I am going to TRY to get the next chapter done, beta'd and validated ASAP...BUT, don't be mad if you have to wait a little while for it...

**B/C I AM GOING TO LA FOR THE BD1 RED CARPET!** WHOOP! I leave on the 8th and won't be back till the 16th, so if you're following me on Twitter...stayed tuned people! My goal is to get up front & center with Mr. RPatz & Mr. KLutz...hells yeah!

lol OK...I may have some issues...but don't deny you wouldn't be acting the same?

xoxoxo Love ya! xoxoxo


	18. Chapter 17 :: Daddy's Girls

**A/N: **HIIIEEE! *waves crazily* I have MISSED you guys! I have missed my story too! I am SOO happy to be back writing! I am gonna keep this a/n short, b/c I know you're anxious to catch up with our bb's, but meet me at the bottom...LOTS to share! xoxox

* * *

><p><strong>All the usual:<strong>

**Story Blog:** (teasers, pics, songs & more!) posted on my blog.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07 (come chat with me!)

SM gets the priviledge of owning the characters; I just play in her sandbox! This you know!

**PTB Editing Beta's: TDS88 & VictoryLayne**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The expression on Edward's face is comical. It's a cross between elation and pure terror, and I can't help but laugh at his sudden change in demeanor.

"Fuck," he whispers as he runs a hand through his tresses. I giggle in response.

I move my hand up to trace my fingers along his tightly clenched jaw. "Baby, remember what you told me? I have no doubts that _you_ are going to be a wonderful father."

He blew out a breath, still gripping tightly to his hair as his eyes met mine. "You know…_your_ father is going to have a field day with this news."

That does it. I press my hand to my swollen abdomen and laugh, hard. Tears form in my eyes, and my ribs begin to ache. The scowl on Edward's face makes it clear he is not seeing the humor of the situation. I try to calm myself, panting to catch my breath.

"Your…Edward…oh, God…" I try desperately to speak through the laughter, but it's pointless.

Edward makes an about-face, shoves his hands in his coat pockets and starts dragging his feet like a petulant child up the walkway.

_Shit. Get it under control, Bella. He's freaking out._

I lean my hands on my thighs and take deep, calming breaths. But damn, that shit was funny.

After regaining my composure, I walk swiftly to catch up to him. As I move in step beside him, I thread my fingers through his that are still in his pocket. He turns his head slightly and meets my eyes with a small smirk.

"You liked that, did you?" he asks, feigning annoyance.

I wrap my free hand around his bicep and squeeze in closer to him. "You're going to be a wonderful daddy, Edward. Our baby girl is going to have you wrapped around her little finger so tight…" I trail off with a small giggle.

"Is it sad to say, she already does?"

"No, not at all." I smile up at him. "It may be pretty fun to watch though." His furrowed brow is softening, and the crinkles around his eyes are prominent with his smile. We leisurely walk along the pathway, simply enjoying the day and soaking in the news.

_A little girl. We're having a little girl._

I sigh softly as my thoughts drift to curiosity about whom she'll look like. Will she have my eyes or Edward's? Will she have his pointed nose or my round one? What about his crazy bronze or my soft brown hair? Regardless, she'll be beautiful and absolutely perfect, because she's the very best parts of us. Of this, I am certain.

The silence encompasses us as we tread slowly around the warn path of the lake. I soak in the sight of the sun glistening off the surface of the lake and the sound of the leaves and gravel crunching beneath our feet while the wind whistles through the treetops. We're both seemingly lost in the revelation that we're having a daughter. There's something monumental about this moment of discovering the gender of the life growing inside of me. It puts an entirely new spin on being a mother. It's as if a fierce protectiveness has weaved its way through me, attaching itself to ever fiber –every molecule–of who I am. I knew it before, but it's even stronger now…there is nothing I won't do to protect her.

While initially finding out that I was pregnant awakened a fear in me–the fear of being incapable of the responsibility of another life–somehow finding out "it" is now a "she" has morphed those fears into a powerful sense of protectiveness. As we continue our stroll, that instinct takes a deep root in my soul.

"So, who do we tell first?" Edward asks, breaking the quiet as he stops at a gazebo and pulls me to face him. He wraps his arm protectively around my back and holds me close–as close as he can with my protruding belly in the way that is. It's my favorite place to be.

Resting my head on his chest, I smile at the thought of our friend's and family's reaction. "I guess the best place to start is with our parents," I state and then chuckle. "Possibly my mother. You know she'll never forgive us if she's the last to know."

Edward exhales a laugh out his nose. "Yeah. Although, it _would_ be rather entertaining."

"Edward!" I smack his chest and he mocks hurt as he grabs hold of my wrist.

He chuckles and pulls me tighter against him, threading his fingers through mine over his heart. "Okay, okay. We tell Renee first," he says slyly with a grin. "Or, you call her while I call Esme. We both know Renee won't keep it to herself for long, so we should prepare to run interference."

He has a point. My mother would likely call every national news station in the country and beg them to tell the story if it would work.

"I _might_ be able to convince her not to tell Charlie though. Since he's coming out soon, we can probably get away with not telling him until then. They don't talk much anyway. Or at least, it's not like he goes out of his way to talk to her."

He nods. "True. That should make for an interesting visit."

I chuckle softly as the memories flood my mind of Edward's reaction. I can't help it. Our little girl already has him flustered, and she's not even here yet.

_Hilarious._

"You just can't get past that, huh?" he teases while tickling my ribs lightly.

I swiftly push away from his grasp and step back towards the side railing of the gazebo. "I can't help it. You seem to have this weird thing about my dad."

He hums, "A thing, huh? I think it's more of a better understanding of him. And I just _know_ he's going to love telling me all about it."

We both laugh quietly before I reach into my purse and pull out my phone. "Time to face the squeals," I tease, waving it at him.

He sighs with a smile as he retrieves his from his back pocket. "Let's do this," he deadpans. However, his expression morphs quickly to confusion as he illuminates the screen.

"Mike texted me," he states, almost more to himself than to me.

I'm about to press send to connect the call when his words register with me. "Everything okay?" I ask hesitantly.

"Not sure. It just says '_Call the office. ASAP'_. But he knew we had a doctor's appointment today and not to bother me," he replies, still staring at his phone as if it will answer an unspoken question.

His voice is so hollow; it sends a chill over me. "So…call him."

He snaps out of whatever thought he was having and meets my eyes. "Later. Let's call the grandmas," he says with a smile, but it's forced, and his eyes display emotions that I can't decipher. A sudden fear that I haven't felt in months runs like ice water through my veins.

_Trust him, Bella._

What isn't he telling me? We've spent a good deal of time rebuilding _us_, and while there are still times–largely few and far between–when those doubts start to claw their way back to the surface, he's been magnificent in proving that he will never go back to the way he was before. But when he holds back or keeps things from me, they rush to the forefront of my mind and cause me to panic.

I nod and swallow hard before hitting send and calling Renee.

As predicted, Renee and Esme are completely ecstatic. We swap phones during the calls, and by the time we've ended them, I am fairly certain I may be partially deaf.

The next call we make is to Emmett and Rose. Well, Edward calls Em, and I call Rose.

"Hey, honey cakes. How's the mommy-to-be feeling these days?" she asks, and I can sense a smile in her voice.

"Hey, Rose. Mommy-to-be is doing just fine, thanks. Maybe you should ask how daddy-to-be is doing?" I reply in jest, suppressing a giggle.

"Oh yeah? What's he…" she gasps "…oh shit! You had your ultrasound today, right? Oh my God, Bella! Tell me! Tell me!"

I cover my mouth with the tips of my fingers as the giggle escapes at her excitement. "It's a–"

A loud, boisterous laugh echoes through the phone from her end and interrupts me before I can finish.

"Em! Shut the hell up!" Rose scolds him. I giggle some more.

"Rosie! Holy shit! Guess what?" he says excitedly while laughing.

"Wait! Rose, Edward just told him. Don't listen!" I try to gain her attention to no avail as I hear Emmett carrying on in the background.

"Emmett, what the hell are you going on about? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

His laugh rings out once again as I continue my attempt at gaining Rose's attention.

"Edward's gonna have…ha ha ha…oh my…baby…" At this point, Edward is clearly no longer on the phone with him and has moved to my side with a proud, yet guilty grin. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and tucks me into his side.

"Rose," I try again while smiling up at him. Emmett has clearly gained her full attention for the moment, so I quickly press my lips to his.

"What? Oh my God! Are you for sure?" Rose screeches through the phone. "A girl?"

I release a sigh and smile mostly to myself. "Yes, Rose. We're having a girl," I answer in a calm tone. Emmett is carrying on in his amusement in the background while I have to hold the phone away from my ear to, once again, prevent hearing loss.

Edward presses his lips to my temple and squeezes me. "I'd say she's pretty happy, huh?" he softly questions with a chuckle.

"Emmett seems rather entertained at the thought of _you_ having a daughter," I tease, quirking an eyebrow. He drops his chin as his cheeks flush.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so damn happy for you guys!" Rose states once she's calmed somewhat, and it seems Emmett has as well.

"Thanks, babe. We're pretty excited about her, too. Don't' say anything to Alice yet though. We called you guys after we called the grandparents."

"No, of course I won't. I can't wait to see you, Bell. I'll check with Em and see when his next duty day is, and maybe we can come down one weekend soon."

"That'd be great. We miss you guys! Just let me know, okay?"

xxx

The next couple of months fly by in a whirlwind of doctor appointments, school and court cases. Edward has proven himself daily with his commitment to the baby and me, and it's almost as if we have built an entirely new relationship. I pray everyday that things–or he–won't resort back to the way it was before I left.

There admittedly has been a few times–unfortunately, more often than not –where that "nagging feeling" returns. A feeling that he's keeping something from me, or sometimes the opposite, where he seemingly wants to say something, but holds back. I haven't pushed, mainly because I feel that if and when he wants to tell me, he will. It doesn't stop the doubts from returning, however.

It's closing in on Labor Day weekend and Charlie, Em and Rose will be here for a visit. Dad will be here for just a few days, while Em and Rose are staying down for an entire week. I am really looking forward to seeing my dad and giving him the news that he's going to have a granddaughter. He's the only one we haven't told yet; mainly wanting to keep it a surprise for him. Edward has been working late most nights this week in preparation for some time off, and the end of a case, so I have spent most of my time cleaning as best I can with my stomach in the way.

Rose and I have plans to put our men to work while they're here by cleaning out one of the extra bedrooms and getting it ready to turn it into the nursery. So, today while I wait until it's time to pick up Charlie from the airport, I will do some things that aren't hindered by my pregnancy.

We have some flattened boxes stored in the garage from when we moved to Wrightsville, and locating them will likely be more of a chore than I originally thought it would be. The rear portion of the garage is more of a storage area, and it's not necessarily what it was intended for, but that's what we've made it out to be. It's crammed with large plastic tubs full of random items stemming from Christmas decorations, to old high school and college memorabilia, to just…crap. An old couch from our apartment in Seattle stands on its end in the corner, along with the frame from my old childhood bed, Edward's surfboard, a ladder. Just crap, crap and more crap!

I prop a hand on my hip and glaringly stare down the mass of said crap, as if it will miraculously move out of my way and a guiding light will shine down on the boxes I seek. _Fat chance._ With a resigned sigh, I press the button to open the automatic garage door and get into my car to back it out of my way. Once that necessary space is available, one-by-one I begin sliding the tubs across the concrete floor. They aren't especially heavy, but it is summer in North Carolina, and I am working up quite a sweat. After repositioning the ladder and setting it near the tubs, I wipe my hand across my brow, attempting to prevent the sweat from dripping into my eyes. As I glance back at the remaining untouched items, I spot the corner of a flattened box. Just my luck, it's _behind_ the couch.

"How the _hell_ am I supposed to get to those?" I question out loud, obviously to myself.

I slide a few more random items out of my way, but it becomes increasingly clear that I won't be able to get to those boxes without some help. Apparently I didn't give this task much rational thought. Yes, usually I am very capable and independent; however, being seven months pregnant requires more assistance than what I am used to. I sigh and turn to face the disaster that I have created in the garage while my hand slides absentmindedly up and down my abdomen.

"Well, baby girl. Looks like I need daddy's help on this project."

I'm rewarded with a small nudge from inside followed quickly by a sharp, stabbing pain in my right side.

"Ow, shit!" I cry out in a gasp, clutching my hands below my ribs. It suddenly feels as if the floor below me is spinning, and I squeeze my eyes closed, hoping the vertigo passes. I reach an unsteady hand out in attempt to regain my balance on one of the plastic tubs, unfortunately misjudging its stability. The tub wobbles on top of another, before falling to the opposite side. The events combined lead to a sudden rushing and ringing sound in my ears, and the next thing I am aware of is a pain in my hip as it collides with the hard floor of the garage, before the blackness takes over.

xxx

**EPOV **

My cell phone rings and vibrates across the surface of my paper-cluttered desk. The sound distracts me from the final paperwork I am furiously trying to get on the Stewart case before I leave the office today. This vacation time can't get here fast enough. I am so fucking ready for a break and to spend some quality time with Bella. She's been all too understanding lately with my late hours, and she deserves to have me all to herself for a change.

Having some family with us for this holiday weekend is just an added bonus. Bella should have picked Charlie up from the airport about an hour ago, and Emmett and Rose should be leaving to make the drive down from Sneads Ferry soon.

The ringer sounds again and the caller ID displays a number I am not familiar with. "Edward Cullen," I answer, anticipating a number of possibilities in my head.

"Uh, Edward, it's Charlie," his gruff voice calls from the other end.

"Charlie? Hey," is my intelligent reply as I glance at the clock on my desk.

_He should be in Wilmington by now, right? Why would he be calling me if he were with Bella?_

"I was, uh, wondering if you knew where Bella was? She hasn't come to pick me up yet, and I can't get her on her cell phone," he says with a hint of annoyance and worry.

My heart slams against my chest and I look at the clock again, though I am not sure why as my mind fills with all sorts of sordid possibilities. Bringing my fingers up to pinch the bridge of my nose, I let out a shaky sigh.

_Where the fuck is she? She wouldn't leave again would she? _

"Shit," I half whisper. "Charlie, I–" I pause and take a deep breath. There is something wrong; I can feel it like a lead weight in the pit of my stomach.

"Edward, is everything okay? Should I just call a cab?" Something about the more obvious worry in his tone moves me into action.

"Yes! Charlie, I'm sorry. Um, I'll pay for it. Just grab a cab, and I am going to figure out where she is, or…if…something's wrong." My words and actions are franticly all over the place as I jump up from my chair.

"Uh, yeah. All right," he responds. "Just let me know what's going on."

"Yeah, I will. Shit. I'm sorry, Charlie. I'll call you back when I figure it out or, I– I'll meet you at the house."

After I end the call, I shove my phone into the back pocket of my slacks and storm down the hall to Mike's office. The look on my face as I stumble through his office door is obviously enough to make him pale.

"Edw–" he starts, but I cut him off.

"Bella's missing," I blurt out, even though I am not one hundred percent certain that's even really the case. "I've gotta go."

He nods, worry and panic clearly written all over his face. "I'll get the Stewart files from your desk." Without another word, I turn to leave the building. As I slide the key into the ignition of the truck, I am dialing Rosalie's number.

_This CANNOT be happening again._

Unfortunately, Rose's phone goes straight to voicemail. I leave a quick message, possibly sounding a little too frantic as I pull out of the parking lot. Traffic is somewhat heavy due to the time of day _and_ the fact that it's Friday, so I dodge and weave around cars and fly through yellow lights.

Now, on any given day, I usually love the area of town in which our office is located. Today, however, I am pissed-the-fuck-off at the fact that it's only two lane streets leading to the Causeway. Impatiently waiting at a red light, I dial the house phone, only to get our answering machine. I try Bella's phone constantly to no avail. That "lead weight in the pit of my stomach" feeling is still there, and I can't shake the feeling that something is definitely _very_ wrong.

_Fuck!_

Weaving around another few cars–who happen to not be excited about my driving style–I _finally_ make the turn onto Eastwood Road, heading towards the Causeway. Four lanes are _so much _better than two, and I floor it, not caring if a cop sees me at this point. Hell, they can follow me for all I care, who knows, I may need them.

Once I make the turn into Wrightsville, I am cursing the weekend crowds that are already building. _Fuck!_ It's a holiday weekend too, which means that it could literally take me an hour to get down the strand to our house. There are only two roads that lead to the end of the strand, and one of them is a residential that doesn't go all the way through the entire way.

_Fuck, fuck!_

I cut in and around cars, causing a few flying fingers and honking horns. _Fuck 'em._ Two turns later and I am less than fifty yards from our driveway. I can see Bella's Volvo parked at the end of it, near the street.

_First thing that's not normal. Why is her car sitting that far back on the drive?_

I skid the truck to a stop in the gravel and grass at the end of the drive. The garage door is up, there is a mass of plastic tubs moved into the center of it, and much of our old furniture has been moved from where we'd originally stored it.

_The hell? Second thing._

I practically fall out of the truck in my haste to get up to the house. The only sounds to be heard are those of the wind and waves from the ocean behind.

"Bella?" I call out as I walk, somewhat cautiously, toward the garage. My eyes drift to the front door…it's closed and _seems_ normal. Looking back into the garage, it's a disaster, and as I near the threshold, I spot a pair of feet in…_FUCK!_

"Bella!" I cry out and rush to her side. "Oh, shit!"

My phone is in my hand and 9-1-1 is dialed before another thought is complete. I press my fingers to her carotid artery feeling a faint pulse, and her chest is rising just slightly with shallow breaths. But what has caused my heart to jump into my throat and my eyes to burn with tears…

…blood.

I don't even know where it's coming from but Christ it's fucking everywhere!

_Mother fuck…please God! These are…my girls_…_please!_

* * *

><p><strong>End Note:<strong>_  
><em>

OK, OK...wait, wait, wait...yes, I am SORRY to end it here, but it just worked. Good news is, the next chapter is almost complete and I will send it off to my beta today or tomorrow and hopefully get it ready to post by the end of the weekend.

So...How about BD1 huh? EPIC! How many times have you seen it already? I'm gonna keep my little OCD tendancy to myself on that! lol The premiere...I lack the vocab to properly explain how much I loved every single second of it. For those of you that follow me on Twitter..there were TONS of pics & stories posted there...but for those of you that don't...the entire story, complete with pics is posted on my blog! I got to hug Kellan, rub hands with Rob and talk to Kris! EEK! Will DEFINITELY be going back next year!

Lastly...I seriously cried when I opened my inbox about a week ago...one of you fabulous readers rec'd this story to be spotlighted on Avant Garde...and they DID! I am humbled. THANK YOU! I love you from the bottom of my heart!

See ya soon!

xoxoxo


	19. Chapter18 : Crazy Dreams Sordid Reality

**A/N: **As promised! The next few chapters will be pretty quick...like I said, I MISSED writing!

So, get to it! :)

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><p><strong>All the usual:<strong>

**Story Blog:** (teasers, pics, songs & more!) linked in my profile.

**Twitter:** MarieCullen07 (come chat with me!)

**PTB Editing Beta: TDS88**

SM gets the priviledge of owning the characters; I just play in her sandbox! This you know!

* * *

><p>I would almost be willing to bet my life that my feet are submerged in ice water, or even snow, they are so <em>damn<em> cold. I attempt to shift them further under the covers, but they won't move. In fact, all of my limbs feel oddly heavy, but I can wiggle my fingers, so that's a good sign. My head keeps telling the rest of my body to function, but it's as if there's some sort of a communication blockage.

Speaking of my head, the pounding that's going on in there compares to ninety thousand little elves picking away at my skull with their little…well, pick axes. And, what the hell is all that incessant beeping? _Not helping._

Slowly, I crack my eyes open, only to swiftly squeeze them closed again. The brightness of the lights only increases the throbbing in my head. Somehow, though, I am able to get my arms to function and lay one across my face, yet I still can't manage to get my legs to work and my damn feet are _freezing!_

A voice calls out, but it's muffled, like it's underwater, and I can't determine who it is, or to whom they are speaking. It kind of reminds me of the old _Peanuts_ cartoons…"whah-whah, whah-whah, whah-whah"…coupled with that damn beeping, and surely I am going to lose my mind if that shit doesn't stop.

_Fuck. My head hurts._

Removing my arm from my face, I make another go at opening my eyes, only this time, wherever I am is now dark. I roll my head ever so slowly from side to side and take in my surroundings. It's not a room I am familiar with, and from what I can make out in the shadows, there is only the bed I am lying in and a small desk with a chair in the far corner near the door. There's a thin strip of light shining from beneath the door, offering just a faint glow across the dusty floorboards. I shiver slightly and take a deep breath. The room has a strange musty, woodsy aroma to it, like that of an old cabin in the woods that's been closed up for winter and badly needs to be aired out.

I let out a deep sigh and struggle to push myself up into a sitting position. My head spins as it continues to pound, and I press my palm to my forehead to ward off the dizzy spell. Once it subsides, I take another look at my surroundings.

_There are no windows? Weird._

The beeping speeds up a fraction as I rise up off the bed. I stare down at my feet as if I can will them to move. Doesn't work obviously, so I slide a hand under one leg and move it to hang off the bed, before doing the same to the other.

_Seriously? What's a girl gotta do to get some socks around here? Burr._

The weird voice comes again, slightly louder, from the other side of the door, and it's kind of creepy really. I debate with myself for a moment on whether or not I should try to stand on my "frozen" feet, or just call out to whoever is on the other side of the door. My stubbornness wins as I slowly and gingerly slide my feet closer to the floor. A painful, tingling, pin-prickling sensation shoots up my legs as my feet struggle to regain feeling. I shift more weight onto them, forcing them to "wake-up", hissing and gripping the side of the bed as the tingling worsens before eventually subsiding. With a death grip to the side of the bed, I force myself to place all of my weight on my legs and stand upright. It takes every ounce of will I have to fight the culmination of pain from top to bottom, starting with my head pounding and radiating down to my toes tingling.

Gradually, I move to the foot of the bed, bringing myself closer to the door. The ever-present beeping picks up in both volume and pace as I inch my way across the frigid floor. I hesitate before releasing my grip on the bed, and on shaky legs, I move towards the door. The cold metal of the doorknob sends shivers across my skin as I wrap my hand around it and twist.

With a loud creaking as the wood from the frame resists, I pull the door back and peer around the other side into a dimly lit hallway. It's long and narrow with another doorway at the end. With a hand pressed to the wall for support, my feet shuffle slowly and the muffled voice calls out again. Only this time, I would swear that it's my name mixed in with the words. My brow furrows in confusion, as I try to listen and break through the foggy sound for a clearer distinction.

"You're _so_ stubborn," it says. "Why, Bella?"

I squeeze my eyes shut, grip the hair at my temple and shake my head slowly. I can't place the voice, but the concern and pain is evident. My heart twists empathetically as if I know the pain the voice is feeling too. As I remove my hand from my hair, I notice it's warm and moist. I glance down to see my hand covered in blood. The coppery metallic smell invades my nostrils and I slump into the wall as I am hit with another dizzy spell. I press my back up against it and slowly slide down, resting my still pounding head against it as I take slow, deep breaths.

_Why is my head bleeding?_

When the floor, and my head, stops spinning, I exhale slowly and open my eyes. The skull-piercing bright light is back and with a moan, I squeeze my eyes shut again.

"Bella? Baby, open your eyes," a velvety smooth voice whispers from beside me. I smile to myself with my eyes still closed. I like that voice. I like it a lot, in fact. Soft fingertips ghost down the side of my cheek and I turn my head into them letting out a sigh.

Almost simultaneously, my eyes open again and the beeping becomes a rapid staccato. As the figure in front of my face comes into focus, I let out a heavy gasp…all I see is crimson colored eyes.

_No. Shit, please no. Not again. Red eyes?_

_OK, time to wake up, Bella._

_Wake. Up! _

_I fucking _hate_ this dream. Enough already!_

"Bella? Can you hear me?" the smooth voice attached to the red eyes asks.

I cringe when the pressure in my head mimics a vice grip as the beeping speeds up and grows in volume. A hand gently grips mine, a thumb sliding back and forth across my knuckles. Slowly blinking my eyes and internally praying that this nightmare will end soon, I look back into the concerned face. As my vision clears, a kaleidoscope of colors swirls in his irises, eventually settling in a deep jade. The whites of his eyes are bloodshot and there are deep purple circles underlining the swollen red skin of his eyelids. I sigh softly when I realize I am finally awake. His expression is one of deep pain, and my brow furrows as our eyes lock.

_Dammit, my head hurts._

I know his face, those eyes. I fight to break through the muddled fog in my head to make the connection.

"Hey, beautiful," he whispers softly. "Welcome back." He gently squeezes my hand between his and places a soft kiss to my knuckles. Warmth spreads up my arm at the contact of his lips to my skin, and I suddenly become aware of a few things.

First, I am in a hospital. It's cold and sterile, and too damn bright. Second, this man holding my hand like a lifeline to his sanity is…

"Edward," I croak; my throat dry and scratchy.

"Oh, Bella," he chokes out as he drops his head to the bed beside me. His shoulders shake with his sobs, and he lets out a deep sigh.

"Wh–what happened?"

Edward clears his throat and lifts his head meeting my gaze. He shifts his eyes back to our joined hands and then lifts his chin slightly. One hand slowly makes its way across my abdomen causing a third awareness to spring to the forefront of my thoughts.

_My baby._

Tears sting my eyes and my heart clenches as I place my free hand on my swollen abdomen. Fear ricochets through my bones.

"Edward?" My voice is still hoarse, and I choke back a sob.

"She's fine, baby. You're both fine," he states with a rigid sense of relief. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was even holding and allow the tears to fall.

"What were you thinking, Bella?" he asks softly.

"I–I don't understand. What happened?" I respond, still fighting the confusion and _fuck_…the pain in my head.

"Well…I think you were trying to clean out the garage or something. I'm not real sure, but when I found you…" he shakes his head and closes his eyes tight, seemingly fighting a bad memory. "I don't know, Bella. You were on the ground, covered in blood. I've never…I was…_God_, I'm just so glad I got there when I did. I don't even know what…" His words and expression are breaking my heart.

I squeeze his hand as hard as I can manage and thread our fingers together across my stomach. "I'm sorry. I'm so _sorry_," I rasp as the sobs take over. Edward rises from his chair and sits beside me on the bed, then wraps his arms under and around me, pulling me up into a sitting position on the bed.

"Shhhh," he soothes, stroking his hand down my back. "You're okay. Everything is fine. Just relax, baby."

After a few calming breaths, I pull back to look into his beautiful eyes. They are laced with worry and pain, making me feel even worse. At this point, I realize that there are two distinctly different beeps sounding through the room. I place a hand on my head, immediately aware of a bandage where the throbbing is originating.

"Ow," I whisper.

"Yeah, you hit your head. You lost a lot of blood, too. You scared the shit out of me, baby."

"What's with all the damn beeping? My head can't take it."

He runs his fingers softly over my bandage. "Let me call the nurse and see if they can give you something for the pain. But, I'm pretty sure they can't stop the beeps. One is your heart and the other…" he takes and releases a deep breath "…the other is the baby's heart monitor." He looks solemnly into my eyes. I cup his jaw with my hand and press my lips to his. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me hard against him; his desperation and relief is evident in his hold and his kiss.

He releases and slowly lowers me against the bed before he stands, still holding my hand. "I'll go get the nurse and let them know you're awake and in pain." He pauses, staring hard into my eyes as if trying to make sure I am real. "Then we'll talk more about what happened, okay?"

I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat as he turns to leave the room. I close my eyes and try hard to remember the events that led up to this point. What was I doing? And why? I close my eyes and wrap my arms around my swollen tummy.

_Thank God, she's okay._

A deep throat clearing startles me and I open my eyes to find my dad standing in the doorway of my room.

"Daddy?" I question through a sob.

His shoulders are slumped with his hands in his pockets. He raises his chin, and his eyes are just as red and swollen as Edward's. My heart begins to break all over again.

_I'm so stupid for doing this to the two most important men in my life. _

He blows a breath through his lips and rubs his hand across the back of his neck. "You gave us quite a scare, kiddo," he says.

"I'm so sorry, daddy," I choke out.

He moves to stand beside my bed and takes my hand in both of his. "Yeah, well, don't ever do that to me again. Ever."

I shake my head as I drop my chin to my chest. We remain silent until Edward and a nurse return. The gravity of the situation weighs heavily in the room. So much could have been lost to all of us…myself included. I could have been lost to both of them.

_So stupid._

The nurse doesn't say much as she checks the monitors and reviews my chart. She then removes a syringe from her pocket and injects a medication into my IV. "This should help with the pain, Miss Swan. It may also make you a little drowsy, so please don't try and get out of the bed without any assistance."

I nod and shift my eyes to Edward. He's standing at the foot of my bed with his arms folded across his chest. His posture is one of exhaustion and I suddenly wonder how long I was out. After she leaves the room, I voice that silent question.

"How long was I…um…?" I cautiously ask Edward.

He sighs. "About thirty-six hours." He resumes his spot on my side of the bed; Charlie remains on the other. "Bella, I really need to know what you were thinking?"

Shame and guilt wash over me. My brow crinkles as I force myself to remember as best I can. "I don't remember specifically, just that I was trying to get some boxes to pack up the spare bedroom." I pause for a moment, looking back and forth between their hands as they hold mine. "I remember finding them in the back, behind our old couch, but not much else. I don't remember what happened that lead to me hitting my head."

"Well, the doctor said that it may take a little while for you to recount everything that happened," Charlie says softly. "We're just glad you're both okay."

Edward flashes a small smile my way, and we all collectively take a breath of solace. As my eyelids begin to droop, I squeeze both of their hands before asking, "Can I get some socks? My feet are freezing."

That earns a chuckle from both men and then Edward releases my hand. I must have dozed off after that, for the next time I am aware of anything, my feet are toasty warm and it's dark in the room, as well as outside. I roll to my side–the pounding in my head isn't quite as bad as it was–tuck the covers under my chin and drift off again.

**EPOV**

Another forty-eight hours pass before the doctor allows Bella to be released. Charlie is leaving in the morning, and I feel bad because most of his visit we've spent at the hospital with her. This afternoon, once we got Bella home and resting on the couch, I fired up the grill to cook a good meal for us, since we've been living on hospital and fast food for days.

Emmett and Rose ended up waiting until yesterday to drive down. Rose wasn't too thrilled about it, as she wanted to be at Bella's bedside, but Charlie was able to convince her to wait and come take care of her once she was home. She's been an angel since arriving, too. Both her and Em cleaned up the mess in the garage and washed out the blood. Something I couldn't bring myself to even go near after I found Bella, so the mess remained until they arrived.

With her resting on the couch–and being mercilessly doted on by Rose–I grab the steaks from the fridge along with a few ears of corn and head out to the patio to start dinner. Em joins me, grabbing two beers from the cooler and handing me one before taking a seat at the wooden table and opening his own.

"So, how ya doin', man?" he asks after he takes a sip.

I shrug as I place the steaks over the heat. "I don't know, Em. I've never been so scared…about anything…in my entire life. I mean, they almost…" I can't even finish that sentence. Finding Bella that way was just…world altering. There was a moment, while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, where I seriously contemplated what I would do if she…died. I shake my head to rid the sordid thoughts.

_She's fine. The baby's fine. _

"Yeah. I get it. But they're all right, bro. You can't let yourself keep thinking about 'what if'. It'll drive ya crazy, ya know?"

"Yeah," I reluctantly respond. I try to distract myself with the grilling, but my thoughts still drift back to what I saw when I found her. _Fuck._ I close the grill cover and pick up my beer. About that same time, Charlie steps out the back door to join us. I turn and lean over the railing of the balcony as I take a long swig, and Emmett hands Charlie one of his own from the cooler.

He and I haven't really spoken too much since he arrived. Maybe five minutes after I called for the ambulance, his cab pulled up to the house. He practically sprinted up to the garage when he saw me hovering, and as he took in the sight of Bella and I covered in blood on the floor of the garage, he turned pale as a Goddamn ghost. I knew exactly what was going through his mind, because it was the same that was going through mine.

Once the paramedics had arrived and loaded her into the rig, he took my keys and followed us to the hospital. He found out that the baby was a "she" from the doctor once Bella was stabilized, and while that wasn't exactly how we wanted to let him know, he _does _and still has yet to comment to either one of us on it.

Charlie slides up next to me on the balcony as we stare out at the ocean. He raises his beer to his mouth and takes a long pull before releasing it and leaning his forearms on the railing. We stand in contemplative silence for a few minutes, watching the waves rise and fall from the shore as we sip our beers.

"So, Edward…a daughter, huh?" he asks with a twitch of his moustache covered lip and still looking out over the sand and surf.

"A daughter," I retort with a smirk of my own. _This should be good._

He turns to face me and claps me _hard_ on the back with the shake of his head. His chin drops to his chest and he chuckles softly. "Well, I hope you're ready, son."

I raise my eyebrows in question and peer at him from the corner of my eye. I don't really have a response to that particular statement. I was actually looking forward to something to this effect from him–prior to recent events, anyway. I knew Charlie would get some sort of enjoyment from it.

"Yeah," he says with a long sigh, turning back to the water and appearing lost in thought. "I hope you're ready for your world to be completely flipped upside-down. Ready to be completely paranoid for no good reason, other than she is just asleep down the hall. I hope you're ready to worry about her every single second of every day, because she carries a piece of your heart around with her wherever she goes. Ready to contain yourself, because you'll have the urge to hurt, or even kill, anyone that hurts her." He pauses at that, still not making eye contact and takes another pull from his beer. "But mostly…I _really _hope you can be ready for the day she comes to you and tells you that she's in love…and suddenly, you're no longer the most important man in her life."

He pauses again and turns back to me. Our eyes lock. "Yeah, Edward. I hope you're ready."

Emmett attempts to hide a chuckle behind his hand.

I swallow hard.

_Well fuck me._

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>_  
><em>

Oh ye readers of little faith! lol Did you REALLY think I would let something terrible happen to our Bella? This event came together as an "option" when I wrote that dream chapter for the first time...it was the lesser of all the evils...promise!

See ya soon!

xoxox


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